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Original poster

Much younger woman staying with us...

478 replies

Idontknowwhattothink · 02/08/2022 22:36

I cannot believe I am typing this.

Myself, my partner and our small child are living together. I am early forties, he is early fifties.

We have a woman in her early twenties staying with us from another country. She is very good looking and is scantily dressed most of the time. This is not me being jealous, this is a factual observation. There is no way he has not noticed she is very attractive looking.

My partner is handsome, likeable, warm, engaging. But... He's not George Clooney and he's old.

This is the weird thing. If it wasn't so ridiculous I would be sure she had a giant crush on him. She really seems to always want to spend time alone with him, gazes at him constantly and seems somewhat besotted.

But surely surely not?

OP posts:
DaffyDaydream · 03/08/2022 17:37

Is this for real?

9007kkb · 03/08/2022 17:37

I agree. You are clearly unhappy with a beautiful young making beeline for your husband in your own home. Yes, it does sound like jealousy but honestly whats wrong with that. Who would be happy with that and I say that as a woman in her 40s with a husband who is also in his 40s who is very good looking with a great six pack. Being jealous is fine. Don't let her stay for an extra week. If you weren't jealous then you wouldn't care. Again jealousy is fine. Just own it, don't make his life crap over it and tell her she needs to leave at the end of the agreed period.

Mischance · 03/08/2022 17:39

Only a week to go.......! There is no doubt that some attractive women like flaunting their power over men - no matter what age. It sounds as though she is making your OH feel uncomfortable too. She will soon be gone - hang on in there!

ScarlettnotOHara · 03/08/2022 17:39

You’re obviously hearing alarm bells, I would definitely be asking her to leave !! I have heard so many stories like this already where the wife gets traded in !! Go with your gut instinct !!

CallOnMe · 03/08/2022 17:44

If you think that equates to me being jealous and insecure then I feel bad for your partner present or future.

Wow!
What a lovely person you are!

So if you’re not feeling jealous or insecure, what is the reason you started a thread?

You’ve said you’ve had house guests before but haven’t started threads on them so why this one if you’re not feeling insecure or jealous?

Delatron · 03/08/2022 17:44

I’d be pointing out all her weird behaviour to be honest. I’d struggle to be polite to her when she is seizing every opportunity to get close to your DH. I’d just tell her to leave.

BreatheAndFocus · 03/08/2022 17:45

Whether your DH is interested or not, she’s being disrespectful. There’s no way she can’t realise that because it’s not just sitting beside him, it’s returning downstairs, waiting for a lift from him, etc.

I’d say something, personally.

Delatron · 03/08/2022 17:47

Yes she’s being rude and disrespectful to you and you’re hosting her. I wouldn’t be able to ignore that behaviour.

WhimsicalGubbins · 03/08/2022 17:48

Why is it ridiculous? I’m the wrong side of 39 and I wouldn’t kick Gabriel Byrne or Al Pacino out of bed-they’re ANCIENT! But show me two men with more charisma…

Crazykatie · 03/08/2022 17:57

Older men always notice a pretty girl, age is no obstacle, if she gives him the “come on” he will not resist, so dont trust him with her. She needs a boyfriend of her own, then she will pay less attention to your man.

A standing cock has no concience

gogogadgetgo · 03/08/2022 18:00

I don't understand some of the responses here

If a woman (whatever she was wearing) was behaving in such a way that made my partner modify their behaviour in his own home I'd be pissed off.

It's not so much the clothes. I get why people have fixated on that.

It's the patting of the sofa. Sitting right next to him at every opportunity. Literally coming between him and his wife. Staying up. Coming downstairs again when he is alone etc etc.

I would say something. They've asked you for another week. I'd be honest and say no she has behaved inappropriately.

Couldn't give a fuck if she's doing it for an ego boost, testing her flirting skills or wanting a sugar daddy. Actions have consequences.

mamabear715 · 03/08/2022 18:02

OP, you realise whatever you say, you'll be criticised.. as I mentioned on another post, 5 pages in & the OP gets mauled. :-(
Save yourself!

Sweetpea1532 · 03/08/2022 18:02

@Idontknowwhattothink

She is being highly inappropriate especially as she's staying with you as a business arrangement. I'd tell your friend who arranged her visit about her behaviour.

Friend needs to know this information for any future dealings with her.
Then I'd take the money given for her to stay with you and find her another accommodation.
And I'd pull her up on her actions in your home...she has essentially taken over and has made you and DH uncomfortable in your own home...she needs to be called out on it. It's very disrespectful..it has nothing to do whether you are jealous or your DH is tempted...her actions aren't proper and you'd be doing her a big favour to tell her what she is doing is socially unexceptable! Just be assertive...it's not being rude.

Original poster
Idontknowwhattothink · 03/08/2022 18:03

CallOnMe · 03/08/2022 17:44

If you think that equates to me being jealous and insecure then I feel bad for your partner present or future.

Wow!
What a lovely person you are!

So if you’re not feeling jealous or insecure, what is the reason you started a thread?

You’ve said you’ve had house guests before but haven’t started threads on them so why this one if you’re not feeling insecure or jealous?

I started the thread out of curiosity. I wanted to hear some different opinions on whether it's possible this person could actually fancy my DH given the age gap as I find it unfathomable.

When I was that age all I wanted was to pursue life adventures and experience what the world had to offer. That would not have included hanging around some middle aged couple attempting to cuddle in with the 50-odd year old husband.

I'm sure he has conflicting emotions about her attention. I would too in similar circumstances. He's human. He's attached. It's unusual and unexpected.

It's clear though from the repliea that it's not a unique situation which is interesting. You yourself said you had daddy crushes (vomit) as they made you feel safe. I was more interested in having fun but there you go, we are all different.

OP posts:
Scianel · 03/08/2022 18:05

@samyeagar what a weird, rather skin-crawling post.

OP I'd be absolutely raging if another woman was being that obviously flirtatious with my DH in my own home, regardless of age or apparel, and she would not be remaining to abuse my hospitality.

CallOnMe · 03/08/2022 18:08

It's clear though from the repliea that it's not a unique situation which is interesting. You yourself said you had daddy crushes (vomit) as they made you feel safe. I was more interested in having fun but there you go, we are all different.

So you don’t feel uncomfortable around her anymore?

Does that mean you’re happy to have her stay another week now?

You can have fun and still have crushes.
It’s odd that you think it’s either/or.

I hope I always have crushes and fun, even when I’m 90.

samyeagar · 03/08/2022 18:11

Idontknowwhattothink · 03/08/2022 18:03

I started the thread out of curiosity. I wanted to hear some different opinions on whether it's possible this person could actually fancy my DH given the age gap as I find it unfathomable.

When I was that age all I wanted was to pursue life adventures and experience what the world had to offer. That would not have included hanging around some middle aged couple attempting to cuddle in with the 50-odd year old husband.

I'm sure he has conflicting emotions about her attention. I would too in similar circumstances. He's human. He's attached. It's unusual and unexpected.

It's clear though from the repliea that it's not a unique situation which is interesting. You yourself said you had daddy crushes (vomit) as they made you feel safe. I was more interested in having fun but there you go, we are all different.

Show quote history

One does not need to understand something in order to accept that it is real.

As to your interest in having fun at that age...fun comes in all different flavours for people. No doubt this young woman is have just as much fun as you did at her age.

Aikko · 03/08/2022 18:14

@Idontknowwhattothink How is her behaviour towards you? How does she act around you?

Does she have opportunities to be around DH when you are not there for extended periods of time?

momtoboys · 03/08/2022 18:19

This thread would have made me more worked up too! LOL I think it is so nice that your husband wants to spend more time with you. You'll be laughing about this in a few weeks. Next year make sure they send a young, scantily clad man. 😁

Weirdlynormal · 03/08/2022 18:43

CallOnMe · 03/08/2022 17:44

If you think that equates to me being jealous and insecure then I feel bad for your partner present or future.

Wow!
What a lovely person you are!

So if you’re not feeling jealous or insecure, what is the reason you started a thread?

You’ve said you’ve had house guests before but haven’t started threads on them so why this one if you’re not feeling insecure or jealous?

Oh get over yourself you were totally projecting and pushing a theme that was not in the OP's posts.

Museya15 · 03/08/2022 18:47

Believe me, I dated a man in his fifties when I was in my thirties. He had done the rounds apparently with a lot of twenty something's in the company he worked for and a lot of them had gone after him. I couldn't believe it but it was true.

AtwilightRebellion · 03/08/2022 18:48

crosbystillsandmash · 03/08/2022 16:31

Put some clothes on?

What do you suggest when it's a particularly hot summer? 🙄

Stop blaming women!!! We should be able to wear whatever we like.

Does society tell men to cover up to prevent us women from finding them irresistible? No!!

Show quote history

Ah, c'mon now. I understand what the OP is saying.

She is a very attractive young woman wearing not a lot, which is fine - I did at same age ( miss that body 😀)

But the young woman in question is clearly crossing boundaries and disrespecting OP. The lightness of dress is highlighted because of her behaviour.

Though tbh OP, I would have said something by now - being paid to host or not. It is your home and a member of your family is being made to feel uncomfortable by someone you invited. I find it odd you haven't had a quick word.

It is your home, your husband, your hospitality, yet you haven't taken her to one side and said at the very least evenings are out of bounds - given she has decent living space.

Anyone here defending the young guest's conduct hasn't seen the fallout caused by their success.

Original poster
Idontknowwhattothink · 03/08/2022 18:49

CallOnMe · 03/08/2022 18:08

It's clear though from the repliea that it's not a unique situation which is interesting. You yourself said you had daddy crushes (vomit) as they made you feel safe. I was more interested in having fun but there you go, we are all different.

So you don’t feel uncomfortable around her anymore?

Does that mean you’re happy to have her stay another week now?

You can have fun and still have crushes.
It’s odd that you think it’s either/or.

I hope I always have crushes and fun, even when I’m 90.

Yes, fun is clearly your middle name - spending your youth having safe daddy crushes on old men you would never want to kiss sounds like wild unbridled fun.

No i don't want her to stay. I don't enjoy her company and my DH is right, we need more date nights, time alone and and sex.

OP posts:
CallOnMe · 03/08/2022 18:54

Yes, fun is clearly your middle name - spending your youth having safe daddy crushes on old men you would never want to kiss sounds like wild unbridled fun.

What a nasty women you are.

I have supported you the entire thread and you’ve been nothing but rude since I said I was a young adult.

No wonder you’re in this predicament.

Festoonlights · 03/08/2022 18:56

You sound fantastic op but with respect you are approaching this from your own secure view point.
I was a very damaged young adult (serious parental issues) and for me the replacement of real self esteem was to enjoy being beautiful and enjoy serious male attention - from absolutely everyone and anyone. Once I worked with a gorgeous man, I was only seventeen, he was married and two kids and the chemistry between us was unbearable. When his wife was around he would go stone cold and feign indifference, and was exceptionally cordial until the day he gave in and literally grabbed and devoured me. It had built up to such a degree in the same ‘dance’ as you describe. The eye contact and magnetism.The chase was part of the thrill - the more he moved away, the more attractive he became to me. My heart would stop looking at him. It was a relief when he finally kissed me. The longing to be with him did not subside, and he continued to pursue me afterwards, but I felt bad about his family set up. He told me he thought about me all of the time. I have absolutely no doubt that he did. I knew he was becoming infatuated.

I think you are crazy to allow this to continue!! As nice as you are, you are no match for her intentions. If she’s determined she will find a way.

Get rid of her now. Protect your marriage - don’t be naive. The writing is on the wall.

It would not surprise me if she was behind the extra weeks stay.