Much younger woman staying with us...

[Idontknowwhattothink]

I cannot believe I am typing this.

Myself, my partner and our small child are living together. I am early forties, he is early fifties.

We have a woman in her early twenties staying with us from another country. She is very good looking and is scantily dressed most of the time. This is not me being jealous, this is a factual observation. There is no way he has not noticed she is very attractive looking.

My partner is handsome, likeable, warm, engaging. But... He's not George Clooney and he's old.

This is the weird thing. If it wasn't so ridiculous I would be sure she had a giant crush on him. She really seems to always want to spend time alone with him, gazes at him constantly and seems somewhat besotted.

But surely surely not?

So after you've asked her to move in a restaurant, which one of you does she end up sitting opposite?

I feel this personally (minus the living with us part).
My partner is big in the tech world. He's recently found himself in the limelight for a specific niche part of that world. All of the sudden, women in certain parts of the industry, are messaging him about how they have a crush on him, or trying to get him to talk about his home life (I'm assuming to find out if we are happy, which we are so yay there!).
He gets so squirly because it's making him uncomfortable. He shows me the messages and we talk through them (he's really socially awkward and I've even picked on him in the past for how daft he is when people flirt with him) and he responds accordingly.
What we don't talk about is how half of me finds it super funny (I'm not the jealous type at all) and the other half wants to intervene because I hate that he's so uncomfortable about it).
I wish your DH peace when all this is over, I feel bad for him and his uncomfortableness.

He's asking you to be home to chaperone as he's supposedly drained from avoiding her advances.

good grief.

just write the stage play.

Speak for yourself.

Dh is considerably younger than me and I've never worried about him working with or being around younger women.

We're not all paranoid.
I trust him and vice versa.

Put some clothes on?

What do you suggest when it's a particularly hot summer? 🙄

Stop blaming women!!! We should be able to wear whatever we like.

Does society tell men to cover up to prevent us women from finding them irresistible? No!!

@Mally100

The 1950s called, they were asking when you'd be returning home?

I agree. If she’s leaving in a week I’d send your husband to a relative until she’s gone.

Why don't you talk to her?
Tell her "you can have him, but I'm keeping the house"...

I'd love to be there to see the reaction if this was to happen. 😆

She needs to go. She is disrespecting you AND your husband. Imagine if the tables were reversed and some young man was constantly trying to sit next to you or have time alone with you or making unwanted gentle advances?

Some women just need to feel irresistible to every man they're around.

Just to say that some 20 odd year olds absolutely do find 50 odd year olds attractive. I know a now 30 odd year old who's been having an affair with a now 60 odd year old for seven years. It does happen, and you're not unreasonable to be wary. I've no doubt your husband wouldn't have his head turned, but it's not worth the worry and aggravation of having her there. Gut reactions are usually right.

Why doesn’t he just tell her she’s making him feel uncomfortable?
Both of you should tell her to dress appropriately for your home not as she does in her own home.
If you are in the middle of potty training I can’t see why you’d agree to someone else staying in your home.

If you’re feeling this way about your guest then I don’t know why you give her the opportunities.

For example, when sitting watching TV. She’s going to have to sit either next to DH or you.
So why don’t you and DH sit next to each other.

Likewise when you go to a restaurant, sit down next to each other.

I think they’re such simple solutions which would make a big difference.

You say you’re not jealous or insecure but you have said started a thread about her and have said things like she’s half naked just because she’s wearing shorts.

Theres nothing wrong with being insecure or jealous and I think most women on here would be if they were around a much prettier and younger women. But you need to recognise it.

And my concern is your DH hasn’t done anything wrong and you’re basically accusing him of stuff and letting your insecurities make you overthink and cause friction in your relationship.

@AryaStarkWolf I had him blocked from my phone everywhere online and I moved soon after. He made a new email address to outsmart me in the name of an old friend. Once I had read it, I blocked him there too.

My wife was keenly aware of the power of her sexuality at this age and went to great lengths to exercise it. Not just from the reactions she got from men, but also from the discomfort it cause in other women.

Life has ways of handing people wakeup calls, so fortunately she has outgrown this need, but when she was younger, even down into her mid teens, she caused a lot of harm to a lot of people. There was no innocent little girl. She knew exactly what she was doing.

@CallOnMe I never said there was friction in our relationship. You are projecting.

You have decided I am jealous of her and you have declared she's just wearing shorts. You don't know what she's wearing or not wearing. And while we are on it, when did I say she was much prettier? In fact when did I make any comparison between her and I? I have said repeatedly that she's very attractive and that she is much younger than me. Did I say that I'm not attractive?

You also seem to think because you are a young adult you have some amazing insight that I'm lacking. I remember well what it's like to be a young adult.

Prob won't help but my friend is married to a man 30 years old! She adores him. Been together since she was 19 and she is now 39 and he is 69! Some women like older men not many though!

I agree with the others and sounds like you have a switched on and sensible other half!

The "scantily clad" young woman, "old" man and "musical chairs" moving of positions makes me think of a bad Bennie Hill sketch. I'm humming the music whilst reading.

@CallOnMe also I don't see why we have to plan our seats in preparation of her appearing from her room. She can sit on whichever couch she likes. They are big spacious couches. But she always chooses his and she's always right in beside him. I would find it utterly bizarre if she sat in beside me like that. The time(s) we have gone into restaurants I've been taking my child's coat off and in that moment she sits down beside my DH. Then we ask her to move.

Yes I remember Friends. I watched it the first time round. I was early twenties and I fancied Richard as did lots of my friends.

🤣🤣🤣

It's not that bad. She's not bursting out of her clothes into a corset and suspenders. Also while I admit he's not George Clooney, my DH is handsome.

You have decided I am jealous of her and you have declared she's just wearing shorts.

OP in the kindest way you have started an entire thread about this and you’ve said several times about how young and attractive she is and how your DH must notice - that is jealously and insecurity.
Why else don’t you want her staying another week?

Its absolutely fine to feel insecure or jealous but pretending you’re not is not going to help you.

What clothes does she wear?
You’ve said she doesn’t walk around in her underwear.

also I don't see why we have to plan our seats in preparation of her appearing from her room.

You don’t need to at all.
But if somethings making you uncomfortable then it does seem a simple solution.

If I didn’t want to sit next to my house guest for any reason then I’d sit next to my DH so they would sit on the empty seat.

I have said she is undoubtedly attractive looking. My DH is not blind so I assume he has noticed. If you think that equates to me being jealous and insecure then I feel bad for your partner present or future.