“Most men don’t want children”

[BiscoffSundae]

Is this actually true? Hear it said a lot on here that most men don’t want children and only go along with it for the woman? Wondered how true this was what is other people’s experience?

I have never experienced this.

No it's bollocks, it's just speculation

In my experience most men want children. Maybe they'd ideally leave it later though (as they don't have the body clock issue) so sometimes it's a case of the woman persuading the man when he'd prefer to leave it for another couple of years.

Not true from my experience at all. Perhaps they don't feel the same time pressure as women but a lot of men I've known in their younger years say they want children 'someday'.

I've never heard that said here or anywhere else

My DH wanted them as much as I did, so in my experience, not true.

My sons are very keen to have families.

Really? It’s said on pretty much all single parent threads I read asking why their ex won’t see the child lots of people will come on and say “most men don’t want children they just go along with it for the woman so that’s why they don’t hang around when they split up”

I think there's truth in it.

I think more women than men really feel desperate for a child. I think many if not most men are happy to have a child and see themselves as a parent at some point but I don't think the desire is there in the same way in the same numbers iyswim.

Eg when I got married, I really wanted children. My husband wanted children at some point. After we'd done x, y, z. They were part of his life plan I suppose you could say. I wanted children. Now!
I got pregnant and he was happy about it. Did he really really really want a baby the same way I did? No. I had a strong biological urge and I think that's what many men don't have.

I do know one dad who rarely sees his children, whereas I don't know any mums like that. But still - only one out of all the men I know. So hopefully a minority of men in general.

Not true for myself and a few others I know. My brother ended a long term relationship because he wanted to be a dad and his girlfriend didn't. My dh initiated having kids (I was much more hesitant) and that's the same for a few of my friends too. I can only think of one friend who rail roadbed her dh into having kids. Everyone else, it was either mutual or the dh pushing for it.

most want children. they just don't want to have to do any of the actual raising of them.

It's like saying "most men wear green jumpers" or "most men drive red cars". It's all a personal choice.

I think a lot of men don’t see any urgency in having children because they don’t have the same biological clock and whereas women know the chances slow they longer it’s left and that’s not as true for men - so it’s usually women who are the instigators.

I'm late 30s and most of the men I know don't want children. We're friends with about 8 other couples and only 2 of them have kids.

My ex (only dated briefly) always said this (he had 2 young kids) he says used to offer commiserations to new fathers because he said it was what most men thought but couldn’t say. He had a team of nannies so he rarely has the kids on his own, and is now separated from his ex wife. I’m now married to an incredible man who adores all our kids and is trying to persuade me we should fry for another - so absolutely the opposite!

I'll preface this by saying my friend group is pretty much entirely male.

Most men I know have been on the fence. Not too fussed either way. I know a few who absolutely don't want children at all.

The ones i know who have had children, almost all of them regret it. Of course they don't tell their partners/ex partners that. The general consensus seems to be they didn't think it would be as hard as it was. They didnt realise the change would be so drastic etc. A lot say it ruined their relationship.

There's a rare few who love kids though. Absolutely love family life. I just don't think they are the majority.

This makes sense as most wont actually admit they regret it

On the threads I’ve seen it said on its usually said in a rude way like the woman was stupid for not knowing that most men don’t want children so should have known better

I think on cultures where children look after and provide financial security for their parents that children are very important to both men and women.

I think it's easy to not be bothered about kids when you can enjoy your adult life safe in the knowledge that the state will provide for you in your old age.

I think most men want them 'some day'.I think that day might never come though if their partners didn't push them due to their own biological clocks.

My desire for children in my early 30s was nowhere near as strong as that of my ex.

20 years on I have gratitude beyond words that I am a father.

This!

If I’m being kind, these men don’t understand what raising a child entails and just enjoy the romantic notion of knocking someone up.

My husband wanted more kids than I did. My brother wanted kids and so did all my BILS.

Amen to this.