How did you find out your husband/partner was having an affair?

[sundaysomeday2022]

NC for this...

I'm intrigued as so many discoveries seem to be linked to phones these days.

I found out when my exDH accidently sent the OW a message to our family facebook chat. This meant that the kids saw it as well !

Came across a photo on our shared camera. They were at a party. I'd had my suspicions for some time
But he'd gaslighted the hell out of me. Was adamant that I was ruining our relationship with my mistrust. The photo was apparently from years ago. The problem was he was wearing the coat I'd bought him the previous weekend. Needless to say I divorced him 👋🏻

I'll never ignore mine again

I told his girlfriend - he downplayed his relationship and said they had just been talking for 2 years. She didn’t take it well and blocked me! He then asked for the three of us to meet whilst I’m pregnant with his child! Silly man.

My ex DH read an email to a friend where i talked about my affair, when he confronted me it was over but I confessed and said I wanted to end our marriage. I was going to end it anyway tbh.

A reverse gotcha, the wife of a male friend was spending a lot of time with a girl friend, he suspected nothing until he called back unexpectedly, finding them in bed together.

She started putting up pictures of him & her,plus of our kids & tagging him, whilst he was at home with me,he told me he was working but was with her,she stated that oh she didn't know we were still together which was bull as he was all over my SM but she can believe what she wants to believe,it turns out she wasn't the first,he had a baby behind my back,getting a woman pregnant while I was expecting our second son,& the OW has a baby for him now but they seem to be unstable as anything,which I knew but it looks like he's cheated on her according to a FB status she put up,as I told her when she emailed me harassing me, what he does is none of my business,I'll concentrate on my kids & nothing else

Sorry have to ask .. did you ever confront his mum?!

Id been with him for just over two years and him and my best friend got on reeeaaallllllyyy well

daft cow me,trusted them

anyway,they went out to buy my Christmas present (with my money as he wasn’t working) and just didn’t come home-refused to answer their phones and I just knew

they rocked up,pissed up (that’s where my Christmas present money went!) and beat me up in front of my children,she tried to snatch my 5 month old baby and thankfully was too drunk to hold onto his car seat and in the fight between us she dropped him

they staggered back out of the house-I rang the police who didn’t care and told me I was wasting their time-I was covered in blood-and then they left me voicemails of them shagging

it won’t surprise anyone to learn they lasted about 6 weeks and he came snivelling back-I shut the door on him and we didn’t see him for 9 years until he showed up at my door and was told to do one-he could see the kids but he wasn’t having me again

he promptly went ‘missing’ and nobodies seen him since

as for her,she lost her mum,went back to London with her other fella and sent me a grovelling Facebook message to which I didn’t even bother to read/watch (part of it was a video of her feet) and just blocked her

We had just got married and I had realised he seemed really off and absent minded. I guess I didn’t notice it before our wedding day as I was so busy organising everything.
I asked him quite a few times what was going on and he denied everything. He would come home later for work. I would wake up in the night and he’d be in the living room, lying on the couch on his phone. He would keep saying he couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to wake me. I checked his phone one morning and found all the messages. I confronted him and he did the usual- she was unstable and wouldn’t leave him alone. Couldn’t really claim that when I sat for hours reading the messages.

@RomilyH Who did his mom think the woman next to him was 🤔

ExDP. I was checking jacket pockets looking for the car keys. Found a receipt for his weekend away, double room, hmm ok, but TWO breakfasts.

He was "very hungry"😂apparently. He laughed when he said that.

Two days later postcard arrives from his admirer, saying it was great and she could still feel him inside her.

I put it in the bag with the other things he'd left behind.

I have a much happier life now.

@Dweetfidilove

Hi
It came out that she knew all about her beforehand. According to him his Mum wasn’t happy but this is the woman who when husband borrowed my car would take said female to his Mum`s, visit friends from his old neighbourhood and the Mum allowed them to stay over [as she tried to explain to me they were just friends] entertained his behaviour for a very long time.

I know if that was me taking a man who wasn’t my husband to my Mum`s home or trying to board a flight with her…..I would never have made it on the plane AND she would pick up the phone to tell him.

i can’t lie once everything came out it was utterly devastating. The complete lack of loyalty and the disrespect he showed took me to a dark place but I had 4 kids to raise and although hard I’ve got ME back.

I didn't have a clue...waited up one night in a dark kitchen for him ..I was going to let the new puppy out to greet him..sweet idea...I saw his car go along the end of the road to our garage...half an hour later he walked up the road with our teenage neighbour...arm in arm...then kissed her goodnight...we divorced he married her...sad times

@RomilyH I cannot imagine what that must have taken out you, but glad you're in a better place.
I couldn't try any such thing in my parents' presence. They really are a vile bunch!

He sent me a text wishing me goodnight, pleasant dreams and so on and so forth when I was in bed next to him, I got the text but it wasn’t meant for me.

We were joking around at home and he said "ha ha, stop it Laura!". My name is not Laura.

That was the first sign ... the Valentine's Day Eurostar booking to Paris for them both was the last one. They are now married.

I found a white bra in his coat pocket. This was maybe 30 years ago. (It smelled gorgeously of soap powder or perfume). This sent me on a further hunt for any more evidence and I found a love letter from her in the one place he wouldn’t expect me to look - his golf bag.

@Dweetfidilove

I wholeheartedly agree with you. I have sons and they know from day dot…if you date Jade and bring Melanie to the house IM CALLING JADE. 😤

Inwas about 17, my friend had a house party but I was ill so didn’t go. My boyfriend at the time was in a few of the photos that made their way onto Facebook. He was snogging a girl I knew in the background of one of the photos. The next day, I asked my male best friend (who was also there) if he knew anything about it and he said he didn’t know about that, but he did know that my boyfriend had tried it on with HIM, and when turned down, went upstairs with another boy.

I don’t talk to any of them anymore. Last I heard of my ex boyfriend, he was an addict, living in a shed in the woods, having sex with men for drugs.

I just guessed…he was distant and happier … his friends started acting shiftily around me so I was pretty sure… I asked him and her outright… they lied. A few months later I discovered she was on a group holiday he was also on! I just left whilst he was away. She did me MASSIVE favour!

Another DP… things weren’t adding up. I went and looked for evidence and I found it. He denied everything and I was fuming. I eventually took him back because he was contrite. And I loved him. I was a wreck though, absolutely devastated. Our relationship never recovered though and now I’m married to someone else (no cheating!) we have a trusting relationship and now I don’t have to worry if my DH is where he says he is.

Im still learning to listen to my gut - despite the above - it’s rarely let me down.

Left the home laptop logged into his Google account when he moved out after a 'nervous breakdown'.

I am still working my way through this, as he genuinely did seem mentally unwell, swears it didn't start until after he left. He is currently facing the reality of what it will mean if we don't sort it out. And I am willing to work it through as I still love the bastard, even if right now I can't trust a word he says.

The OW's husband found out about an 'inappropriate friendship' (overheard part of a phone call) and had the decency to tell me.

I found the evidence of physical affair on his phone a couple of days later (and told the betrayed husband)

Worst few days of my life, I think. But at least there was one person who didn't lie to me

But weirdly grateful that one person in the sorry mess

But weirdly grateful that one person in the sorry mess .... didn't lie to me

I think I knew before he did anything-mentionitis and strange excuses to be out alone when we were always out together. He was so stupid and I found messages on his phone first time I looked and I called her. She was lovely 😂

Letter sent to my anonymous. Told me it was a stalker ex girlfriend who was a mad woman and I believed him for months. he was lying