Script. Became very off with me just after his 50th birthday. Putting me down every chance he could, to DS, MiL, friends, which was unexpected and upsetting. Two months of this, DH demanded I countersign a loan for £10,000 to pay off his credit card. I said no, we aren't getting on (we'd had conversations which ended with him being angry - at me - as he insisted there were no problems). He stood over me, jabbing his finger at the sign here space saying things wouldn't get better if we didn't get out of this (his) financial mess ... Jeez, with hindsight ...
It was just a week before our 23rd Wedding Anniversary. Our anniversary dinner was nothing special, at home with DS, the three of us. During which ex-DH said "it's not like there's anything to celebrate".
A month later, Christmas with MiL, DH took the dog for long walks each morning - one morning I suggested that MiL and I go too, not expecting the absolute fury from him - I mean, wtf, a walk with the dog? He spent a long time in the park's toilets .... with his phone .... ah, that hindsight -
January he barely spoke to me, he was under threat of redundancy and I helped where I could but the bloody anger emanating off him! February and after an awful week of him being an utter sh*t to me I unlocked his computer, got into his Facebook account, found dozens of messages between him and OW (15 years younger than him), arranging to meet up the following weekend for "kisses and cuddles" - "even if it's cold, as long as you are there to cuddle me". His phone bills showed hundreds of text messages. Our home phone bill logged a call to her home phone.
Absolutely blindsided. I went shrieking banshee on the pair of them, messaged her husband (he and my DH had worked together years before, she'd sent him a birthday thing for his 50th which, sad bastard that he is, took as a come-on). OW was full on defensive, my DH didn't love me / it was just flirting / he was a shoulder to cry on etc.
DH said OW was unhappy and her DH beat her up and explained that actually he (my DH) was the hero in this story.
I gave him 2 weeks to either commit to our marriage or get the f*ck out. But no more messaging with OW or he just goes.
I came out of the tube a couple of night later and saw him leaving the barbers opposite, stopping and checking his phone. Yeah - had his stuff thrown out the door that night. The OW wanted nothing to do with him once the fun flirting was exposed. He spent 6 years in a friends spare room. OW and her DH divorced and FB shows he's remarried and gloriously happy.
23 year marriage over. 5 years paying off his bloody credit card. I look back and feel so foolish.
It's 10 years ago, he's now proper cock-lodging with a twice divorced woman again 15 years younger than him. The worst thing - the worst thing - I kept the dog he'd insisted we get despite my objections (both work full time, DS starting Uni) through those 10 years; he moved in with the new woman and took the dog without warning when I was away at Christmas 2019. 18 months later he (oh God this hurts) dumped the dog at a dog rescue. 12 years old, our poor confused dog. Didn't tell me. DS told me 4 months later. I don't recognise ex-DH as the man I spent those first 22.5 years with. Well bloody rid.
Sorry for the length, but cathartic to get it out of my head.