My husband is wonderful, but I want to leave

[pollypolly9]

Hello!
Has anyone been in the situation where their SO is really a wonderful person, but you're just not happy?
I just don't love him anymore. He's amazing with our 1.5 year old, he provides for us and is a perfect father.
I'm just no longer in love with him.
There's no one else, its not like that, I just have tried for a long time to muddle through when really I just want to part ways.
I've tried to be stoic about it for my son's sake, but it just makes me depressed and listless. I feel like a terrible person when I've got such a nice life with him, but I know if he left me I'd be over it in a week.

But how do I separate without hurting him?
I have literally no reason to leave, he's lovely! Has anyone split up with their SO's amicably? What reason could I give?
I hate the thought of hurting him, and of creating upheaval for my son. How would it even work when we have such a small child together?
Does anyone have any advice?

PREACH

you are a very lucky, lucky woman. tend to this marriage.

Bugger… not sure how I managed that!

I think it's very difficult. It could be just the usual kind of dissatisfaction that can set in at various points or it could be that you genuinely don't have a spark and never really did- hard for us to know as outsiders.whether someone is lovely or not though is often besides the point. At 60 I've known some of the most seemingly well matched and 'in love' couples split up and some couples who seem to almost hate each other still be married- go figure!! What I would say is many people on here go on about it's a minefield out there, dating is awful etc- I know myself if we split now I would leave with the strong idea of not being in a long term relationship again , and I would only leave if I was comfortable with that- I'm not going to be rushing about having total wazzocks in their 50s and 60s messing me around , playing the field etc, sending insulting texts and emails .
I would give it a year OP and put some effort in and be kind to yourself and him- you then have to decide if you are not happy , would you feel ok to be by yourself ??because you simply can't guarantee meeting someone else who you 'love' more and is also nice, kind, good with your son - 'romantic/sexual love' 'can' for many people be quite a fleeting thing and doesn't necessarily last-

Free yourself Op and be happy.

Or free yourself and be miserable
You won't know which it is until after

Wouldn't be surprised if OP has gone now.

I don't fully get this situation. For 2.5 years, your thoughts must have been constantly absorbed by the new baby, your first, and the new feelings, and your partner's, and coping, and the worries, and fulfilling your son's needs.. How could this have felt like ' muddling through' with your feelings for him? You would have been aware of sharing the same 'first time parent' perspective with your partner, but the focus would have gone off the relationship and would have centred on how you both protect and provide care - in different ways - for your son .

It feels to me as though, only if you fancied somebody else, would you think you can just get out into something better. You're not asking for opinions on why are you feeling this, rather asking 'how do I spin this?' 'What reason did other people give?'. You've made up your mind you want out.

I don't think this will end well for anyone, if you leave. Your partner will continue to love your son, but he won't be nearly as kind a person to you.

Agreeing here with other PPs who have said don't try to spin it. Also agree you should explore your feelings to see if there's any possibility your feelings may shift. But if you decide to leave don't pretend or lie to him. Be as kindly honest as you can be. He'll be hurt. But he'll be hurt for so much longer if you either lie to him or make him feel as though he's unlovable.

You might be underplaying what your gut is telling you.

I just got back from a weekend with a close friend who is married to a "wonderful guy." And yet everything about him pisses me off. It's like he's performing the good guy and it's nauseating.