Anyone awake? Need a handhold

[theluckiest]

I was going to post this on Bereavement but thought there's more traffic here.

My DM is dying. I am currently in a side room off a main ward just waiting. She's on pain meds and fast asleep, snoring.

She's got clots everywhere and they've said it's not survivable. Could be hours or days.

My DDad has gone home for some sleep. He's not well either. I'm here on the night shift.
Everyone is being very kind and talking to me in hushed tones so I know it's really really bad.

I didn't have the strongest relationship with my DM (she drives me mad TBH) but still. This is really shit, isn't it?

❤️❤️❤️

Aww much love to you and your Dad. So sorry for your loss ❤️

Agree with everything said above about the forthcoming ‘death admin’ which is made easier with the ‘tell us once’ service for sure. One thing I wish I’d known for registration was that you need all of the names your mother was known by including middle names etc as some pension fund/insurance/banks only accept death certs with those names on them.

Book the registration appointment as it can be a while to get one, then get some rest and look after yourself and your Dad.

Sorry for your loss OP.
Hope you have some good RL support and can take the time you need away from work.

Thank you for the and well wishes.

Feels very strange this morning. Like nothing has changed but everything has.

Luckily (depending on which way you look at it) I'm a teacher. Not the start to the summer hols I'd planned but at least I don't have to worry about work.

Going to Dad's later to be with him and start sorting some stuff. Man alive, she kept a LOT of stuff! Keeping busy is a very good thing

Ah OP take care of yourself. Its taboo in our culture but we do need to ensure people have a good death and it sounds like you ensured thats exactly what your mum had.

I was relieved the suffering was over for my dad and gradually I "unclenched". Be prepared for a crap sleeping pattern. Like you say, you've got the holiday season away from school for breathing space although not how you'd planned to spend it x

Op I'm so sorry your going through this . You won't realise how much all this has affected you until your dm does pass away . My Nan was like a mother to me . I loved her so much . 4 years ago this was me . In the side room of the hospital just waiting . Then as soon as I thought she seemed better one day I was convinced she wasn't going to die although I was the only one ! The day she went it was the worst day of my life . I came back from work
And I just knew it was time . She had an awful scared look in her eyes and they were wide and she was breathing really erratic with the death rattle . The nurse came in and give her morphine in her stomach and she died ten minutes after that . But she fought so hard . Even when she passed she still kept taking breaths . . I will be thinking of you ❤️. X

I‘m so very sorry for your loss ❤️

I'm so sorry op I just seen your update . I know people don't like talking that much about death or a good death but I'm
So glad that's what she had ❤️. Take care of your self xxx

All the best.

We're here when you need us.

Take care of yourself over the next 6 weeks before returning to the classroom. It will hit hard and you will need your strength. Sending you lots of love ❤️

Take care OP 💐

Take care

Sending so much love to you and family ❤️

Thank you again for yr kind words.

So sorry about yr Nan @watchagunado
Yes, that's what happened with Mum too. Breathing v shallow, eyes not quite focused & we told her not to be scared. It felt that she was fighting it (reminded me of when babies are clearly tired but fighting going to sleep). Nurse gave her a top-up & she died ten mins later.

We've started trying to sort out stuff. I knew she kept a lot but didn't realise how much of a hoarder she was. She kept ridiculously useless stuff (eg. grocery shopping receipts from 5 yrs ago??!) but we've no idea where she put the Will!! Mad...

@theluckiest ❤️❤️

When you have some time in the future, please come back to this thread and tell us more about her life and any of your memories together.
I would love to know more about her, but only when the time is right for you xxx

So sorry for your loss.
Still holding your hand.
A long road ahead.
Your memories stay in your heart forever.

Not the update I wanted to give you all...

This will definitely out me in RL but I need support.

My DDad is now in hospital. He became unwell & I'm waiting to hear from the A&E doctor. They think he has an infection.

I'm not sure I can take more of this...

I am so sorry, things always seem to come together like this. Sending you the love and strength to get through this too and hoping your dad will be ok.

You poor love. It never bloody rains but it pours.

I'm waiting for a call back from the hospital. I phoned and they put me through to Resus. I've seen enough '24 hr' hospital programmes to know that's not good 😭
He must be pretty sick if that's where he is??

I'm so bloody scared. I don't know what's happening.

Op resus is sometimes just where there are spare beds - doesn't necessarily mean they are resuscitating anyone!

Yeah, I really shouldn't Google things!!

Still haven't called me back. I feel bad about ringing as I know they'll be busy.

Yeah definitely don't Google anything, it will never help.

Keep us updated. Thinking of you xx

My DD often finds herself in resus, she has frequent chest infections and sometimes needs O2, resus has a higher level of nursing staff but it doesn't mean the worst. I hope you've had news and that it isn't awful news.

So he has confirmed sepsis

He obviously feels horrible but on the positive side, they've got to it quickly and he's on IV antibiotics.

I'm so worried about him.