Dating Thread 231: Summer Lovin

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
Develop a thick skin.
Do not invest emotionally too soon.
It's all BS until it actually happens.
Trust your gut instinct.
People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
Know your worth.
If it's not fun, stop.
Loo update is mandatory.
No dating the thread.
Treat others as you'd like to be treated
Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@Thisisworsethananticpated …good to hear you are feeling better and kids safely away. You juggle the kids all year plus work plus problems with one of them. It’s a lot on your plate. I think things will ease a bit as they grow older but you do need time to yourself. I hope you have fab time now and lots of good sexy Balkan attention

Mila14
im very flat today
it’s been 3 solid days of travel and stress
and more flights taxis trains busies than I can count

I knows it’s a come down from high anxiety but I feel very tearful and a bit sick
I keep doing covid tests !!

also I’m a bit wary of Balkan
he went into his man cave again when he had covid hes out now but …. I can’t handle him when I’m low energy

i really hope this is exhaustion and stress
come down - and I feel myself tomorrow

I feel very much like a tired 48 year old single mother today

Mila14

and when are you back and meeting mystery mr wall ?

@Thisisworsethananticpated …it’s completely normal to feel exhausted after the hand in drama. You need a bit to recover. It’s normal to feel tearful too.
I am in 2 minds about Mr Wall. I will not be back until first week August…I feel he should date a bit as I’m not comfortable being the first date ever since separation. I don’t think he knows whether he can abandon his cave and celibacy. It’s a bit complicated and I want no complications
I have also noticed he has 0 sense of humour…so no banter and no irony… weird. He’s very euro in many ways although he’s a Brit !

@Thisisworsethananticpated it's no wonder you feel low today. Take care of yourself and rest up

I'm feeling naked. When I got home last night I had mr local messaging angling to meet up. I haven't heard much from him since we hooked up save for sending emojis to pics I post. So I told him bluntly I'm not prepared to be his beck and call fuck buddy which I had made clear before and my minimum was fwb. He had previously confirmed he was looking for fwb and hopefully more. He apologised and gave usual excuse of being too busy for anything more etc. I ended it saying if he liked someone enough he would find time, no excuses. Then today he posts something on insta indicating he has now moved into his new place - now I got furnished with all his unloading of woes about the whole run up to this but he didn't bother to tell me it's finally gone through. So I've sent a message saying this is my point - if he considered me a friend and not just a hook up when bored it would have taken 2 mins to let me know. I don't expect to ever hear from him again now and expect he'll block me but at least I had my say

*narked not naked 🤦‍♀️😆

Slothmomma

im a fan of completion
good for you

ive perked up as did a non kid food shop
all healthy !!!!

Mila14
what are this chaps positives ? He’s a bit of s
tormented soul isn’t he

Mind if I join? I've met someone on OLD and it was supposed to be FWB. I seem to be falling for him though. It doesn't seem to mutual. I need to extract myself.

I'm always the one messaging. He replies but never starts conversations. I'm always the one organising dates. He comes along but never organises them (1-2 times a week). We always have sex, it can never just be affection.

I've decided today that I'm not going to message him again and see what happens.

@RainCloud …I totally get you. I could not do FWB. It’s not for me
@Thisisworsethananticpated …he’s very handsome. And he clearly fancies me. He’s got a lot in common with me about fitness, kids, lifestyle, socio economics. On top of that he wants euro. It’s his preference and that works for me. We’ll see how it goes. If we ever make it to a date, that is!!

@Slothmomma …onwards and upwards. You will be fine whatever you choose
@Thisisworsethananticpated …eating healthy is super soothing. Well done

Mila14
he wants euro does he 😂
like me to be fair !!!!

RainCloud
yes don’t text him
sit on your hands
fwb and casual is fine but there has to be mutual affection
otherwise where is the joy ?

😂😂😂

Hope everyone is having a good weekend.
You'll all be pleased to know I've got my appetite back😂
The heartbreak diet is great in one respect but when you're like me and live to eat it's really tough not being able to eat your favourite foods.

I'm seeing my best friend today for one last rant/chat about Mr K so there may be tears.
I still feel in shock that we ended how we did but that can't be changed now.

On the positive side if I decide to have a relationship in the future I know exactly what I want and I know exactly how I want the man to be in terms of emotional availability.

I've got Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl sitting on my bedside cabinet waiting to be read again, not quite ready to start yet as it's too close to home but I will read it soon.

So good to see you back and sounding more positive @SortingItOut

Long may it continue xx

Hi all. Catching up, place marking while I do so. @SortingItOut and @Eesha sending hugs your way. @dancer hiiiii

@mila14 what does "he wants euro" mean? Or was that a typo? What does he want? 😆

@dancer does your iron have a name? Have we heard about him before? Do tell...😊

@sorting and @Eesha - the healing is happening... trust the process... You're actually doing extremely well. I'm still smarting a bit from a breakup almost 2 years ago, after only 1 year together. And I know it was the right thing now - we were not actually compatible in a number of ways. But I remember how I felt after date zero and how he made me feel while it was good and I have been nowhere near that feeling since. So he keeps lingering in my head and I can't get him out despite several dates since...😪

I've not felt like interacting with the apps lately but I'm still on them and going stale no doubt as the scrollers see my profile come round and think "there she is again" like I do with some men 🤣 Was at a party last night - single pringle in a sea of couples - and had some new full length shots taken in a nice dress but with my actual size 12 body and not the size 10 photo I've had to remove as it was taken after a month of Heartbreak Diet and all my matches liked it a lot. Honesty is the best policy. I may pause my Bumble and Tinder and set up a profile somewhere else - don't want to do Feeld and don't want to pay to chat (so not Match.com), didn't like Hinge when I tried it a while back - I don't know what to do with a like of a photo, are you meant to contact them just for that? Such low effort... I might give PoF a go, met a nice fling on there a while back. Do you pay to match or chat on OK Cupid?

SortingItOut

you DO sound better
can you send a synopsis (brief!) of that book
maybe too soon though….

WeWantTheFinestWines

could you try hinge again ? I met the nicest ones on there . What abut it didn’t you like ?

i found it fairly simple , and often when people loike they can send a brief message , or they can like a comment you make

im sorry your still a bit sad about the last fling though . Why did you split up ?

Thank you. He met someone else. Didn't own up when he dumped me but I know that's why.

I might try Hinge again. I just found I didn't know whether to act on a like or not. A like without a message is the lowest possible effort and not really enough for me to send an opener. And that's mostly what I got. Could give it another whirl I suppose.

@WeWantTheFinestWines I posted about my iron ages ago in April.
I'm calling him Mr Para. He is due back later today from another trip abroad so hopefully will see him during the week as he won't get back until late.
Nature of his work means unpredictable trips abroad and sometimes for extended period of time. In October he is working abroad for 6 months but will be coming back for 2 weeks during that time (I knew about this on the third date)
I'm no longer on the apps and wanting to have the define the relationship chat as we have danced around it a few times with comments.
He is worth the wait and I know he would sooner be seeing me and in the UK rather than working abroad but it's something he has to do.

WeWantTheFinestWines

oh damm . That’s never nice when that happens. Hard for the ego

with Hinge it’s either someone likes or someone likes and sends a brief message. So no different to any other app ? I liked because you can show your personality through the prompts and possible use them to filter out undesirables
its also free !
you have nothing to lose I guess

and you can tell from the initial fee
messages if they are a keeper or not

and , maybe you have better things to do with your Sunday than try another app !

Hey @WeWantTheFinestWines, lovely to see you again. It's good you are getting back on the horse. I'm doing ok, just ventured to my 2nd hot yoga class. I'm rubbish and it's exhausting but the people are lovely and you do feel great afterwards. Then popped to Waitrose to buy myself Eesha friendly lunch!

I have met friends most of the weekend. I guess my sadness from my breakup is I feel cheated, that there was real potential for us as everything was pretty great. Anyway, I made a decision to not archive the messages, just let it drop to the bottom of my list! I needed to stop romanticising as wasn't getting me anywhere. Next week will be a bit sad as we were meant to go away and lost £1k!

@Eesha …you lost 1K!!! Can you get it back? He should pay for that…
@WeWantTheFinestWines …I’m very euro... I’m not British but live and love the UK. MrWall does not want English…so I’m his type

@Mila14 the plan was he paid £1k for the accommodation but because we literally cancelled with a week to go, he lost it all. I was meant to pay for all the meals etc whilst away but I just paid the 500 towards the booking cancellation instead.