Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating Thread 231: Summer Lovin

998 replies

Dancerinthemoonlight · 18/07/2022 11:28

The Rules:

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
Develop a thick skin.
Do not invest emotionally too soon.
It's all BS until it actually happens.
Trust your gut instinct.
People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
Know your worth.
If it's not fun, stop.
Loo update is mandatory.
No dating the thread.
Treat others as you'd like to be treated
Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

OP posts:
HowlongWillThisTakeNow · 15/08/2022 18:31

Too big is no good

at least that’s one thing I don’t need to worry about 😂😂

IodineQueen · 15/08/2022 19:52

I have a date Wednesday eve. I will call him MrN. We seem to have loads in common and a lot to talk about, quite looking forward to it! But not thinking about it too much like I did before the last one where there was zero chemistry when we met. Still bloody nervous though!

Stayingstrongish · 15/08/2022 20:28

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow I wouldn’t leave someone because I felt their size was too small. I also wouldn’t stay with someone because they were big! It’s not an important factor to me. Being a generous lover is more essential - focusing on their pleasure as much as your own, that kind of thing.

Slothmomma · 15/08/2022 21:21

@IodineQueen woo hoo on the date! 🤞for chemistry in person.

No chats here let alone dates 😆

IodineQueen · 15/08/2022 21:44

Am I alone in only being able to cope with one chat at a time? I get them mixed up and keep having to go back and reread the messages. As soon as a date is on the horizon I pause my profile, can’t possibly think about more than one date.

Lovemusic33 · 15/08/2022 22:04

I had my 3rd date (kind of 4th) with Mr Peachy yesterday, spent most of the day together but I’m still thinking ‘he’s too old’ and he has slightly smelly breath 😬, he’s good company, we chat non stop but I don’t feel that strong connection with him. I kind of feel like he’s just a summer fling as I can’t be bothered with OLD during the summer holidays. Luckily he’s busy next weekend and then I’m on holiday so it gives me time to think about wether I want to continue seeing him.

NervesOfCotton · 15/08/2022 22:17

Thank you LuckyLinda That's a lovely thing to say. I hope things become a little easier for you with your new partner, going forward (here's hoping!)

Butterfly Lovely as usualFlowers

Lovemusic Hopefully after some time apart your head will be a bit clearer, it doesn't sound like your heart is in it.

What is it with men pouting in their selfies?! One man has 14 photos. 14! All of him pouting. No idea what his normal mouth looks likeGrin

Slothmomma · 15/08/2022 22:35

@Lovemusic33 I wouldn't be able to get past bad breath 🤢

I had a match Saturday that chatted over weekend but heard nothing more till tonight - and that was basically to tell me that whilst he thinks I'm attractive he doesn't think he'd be able to get past that I would be same height as him or taller. He said he'd remeasured and he's 1/2 inch smaller so I wouldn't be able to wear heels to a ball 🤔 Now I'm 5'9" so rarely wear heels, don't frequent balls all that often and also won't be made to feel like my height makes me some sort of freak show 😖 I've wished him the best of luck in finding his shorty 😆

NervesOfCotton · 15/08/2022 22:43

Slothmomma Oh wow! Well, I guess thanks for his brutal honesty?!
Sounds pretty full of himself.
(I've said thanks but no thanks to 2 men under 5 foot but I didn't mention their height so as not to be mean!)

Onwards & especially upwards you go! Look forward to those many glittering balls in your heels, with your new tall guyGrin

Slothmomma · 15/08/2022 22:59

@NervesOfCotton I have no objection to his honesty and actually prefer it however we matched on hinge - which has heights on profile - and I only matched after I got notification he'd liked me 😆

NervesOfCotton · 15/08/2022 23:14

Slothmomma Well if height is listed then it just shows what an idiot he is doesn't it!

Nothing wrong with 5'9 & his half an inch shorter was probably 6 inches & he didn't want to look like a fool next to lovely youSmile

Signoramarella · 16/08/2022 10:23

@Slothmomma oh so he was short? Have to say the best date I have ever been on, was with the shortest guy imagineable, he was hilarious , we had such a laugh, it was ace! He even made jokes about his own shortness and we agreed to stay friends. Obvs no romance,but it was such fun.

My date last night with Mr F quite lovely. quiet shandy in a beautiful olde worlde pub, no dangerous red flag behaviour, so We Shall See. He invited me to an overnighter , so possibly thats the next step..ooo .😇

Slothmomma · 16/08/2022 10:40

Apparently yes @Signoramarella but I never raised it as an issue - I've been on dates with shorter than me and in fact married someone shorter - but he seemed really hung up on it saying he had a thing about being taller than his partner which begs the question of why he liked me given my height was (and is on all apps because of this situation) clearly stated 😆

Great news on your date 🥳

NervesOfCotton · 16/08/2022 10:48

Slothmomma One of the men I dated who was my height, had a real issue with it. It was a shame really, I kept telling him I was fine with it but he'd always had a problem with it & always would (from what he said)
So there was nothing I could do... He asked me to duck down a bit when we walked next to each other & had an absolute fit one night when we went out & I put 2 inch heels on!!

Signoramarella Sounds lovely, I'm pleased for youFlowers

BelladiMamma · 16/08/2022 13:01

Hi 👋🏻 everyone
Hope OLD life is treating you all well
Just a reminder before this thread fills up, that some of us are planning a meet IRL for late October.
PM me for more details!
Thanks ☺️

Thisisworsethananticpated · 16/08/2022 13:20

IodineQueen

no ! I’m currently in a hiatus
but if and when I get back old I’d also pause profile when chatting with irons
total head wrecker otherwise

Thisisworsethananticpated · 16/08/2022 13:22

Lovemusic33

no to the bad breath
chemistry killer sadly

Thisisworsethananticpated · 16/08/2022 13:23

Signoramarella

he wants a sleepover does he
oy oy oy 👿
that said despite the general sensible advice ….
I have chemistry with so few people I’d probably leap his bones

a shag in the hand is worth two in the bush

Thisisworsethananticpated · 16/08/2022 13:25

Slothmomma

sometimes it’s better to be honest and close it fast

and I’m not a big ballgown wearer either 😂

Mila14 · 16/08/2022 18:36

Lovemusic33 · 15/08/2022 22:04

I had my 3rd date (kind of 4th) with Mr Peachy yesterday, spent most of the day together but I’m still thinking ‘he’s too old’ and he has slightly smelly breath 😬, he’s good company, we chat non stop but I don’t feel that strong connection with him. I kind of feel like he’s just a summer fling as I can’t be bothered with OLD during the summer holidays. Luckily he’s busy next weekend and then I’m on holiday so it gives me time to think about wether I want to continue seeing him.

How old is he? 😳

Signoramarella · 16/08/2022 18:38

@Thisisworsethananticpated oh yes a shag in the hand and all that, I am getting so little ' action' lately, have to take it when it is offered! ....methinks better to suss out the bedroom department sooner rather than later, then if it disappoints, you can move swiftly onwards.

An IRL meetup would be so amazing !

Mila14 · 16/08/2022 18:45

Ok…new iron suddenly in picture. I was only chatting to Mr A who’s very nice and calls me lovely things and whom I will meet on early next week as he’s away.
I got another match I really really like. He wants to meet day after arriving from hols ( that’s a day after date with Mr A)
The thing I find a bit… oooh… is that he’s a widow. I don’t know if any of you have dated widow guy? So there’s no divorce here so potentially…a good love story that came to end badly. I will call him Mr O.

Mila14 · 16/08/2022 18:47

Signoramarella · 16/08/2022 18:38

@Thisisworsethananticpated oh yes a shag in the hand and all that, I am getting so little ' action' lately, have to take it when it is offered! ....methinks better to suss out the bedroom department sooner rather than later, then if it disappoints, you can move swiftly onwards.

An IRL meetup would be so amazing !

I’m with signora … if it’s not ok sexually with a guy…there’s really no point for me. I want to have a relationship but I don’t want to compromise sexually.

Signoramarella · 16/08/2022 18:53

oohh @Mila14 earlier this year I dated a widow, now, there hangs a tale. Didn't think much of it, until we were at his, surrounded by photos of his wife. It was odd, not awkward, just, strange. I found myself having to think really carefully about my choice of words, so used to saying so your ex etc this and that, as you do when you meet a guy, and avoiding the subject alltogether also felt odd.

Anyway things fizzled out, tbh I fear he just used me as a 'compare' to his wife, and as I didn't measure up ( well who would?) he moved on.

Tread with caution...

Mila14 · 16/08/2022 19:11

Signoramarella · 16/08/2022 18:53

oohh @Mila14 earlier this year I dated a widow, now, there hangs a tale. Didn't think much of it, until we were at his, surrounded by photos of his wife. It was odd, not awkward, just, strange. I found myself having to think really carefully about my choice of words, so used to saying so your ex etc this and that, as you do when you meet a guy, and avoiding the subject alltogether also felt odd.

Anyway things fizzled out, tbh I fear he just used me as a 'compare' to his wife, and as I didn't measure up ( well who would?) he moved on.

Tread with caution...

Thank you Signora… his wife died Feb 2021. I don’t know if this is too early for him to go into dating. I will tread carefully and I would not want to find a sanctuary to the ex so would avoid his gaff altogether anyway. But I like this guy…dare I say…I’m quite excited about both irons, Mr A in all his niceness ( slightly lovebombey though) and dark horse Mr O.
We will go for a drink and I can see then