Dating Thread 231: Summer Lovin

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
Develop a thick skin.
Do not invest emotionally too soon.
It's all BS until it actually happens.
Trust your gut instinct.
People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
Know your worth.
If it's not fun, stop.
Loo update is mandatory.
No dating the thread.
Treat others as you'd like to be treated
Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Really good he was completely honest though! He could have completely strung you along for a night! There are good blokes out there 👍

Yes @ButterflyOfShay I'm glad he was honest and didn't just spend the night with me anyway. I have no ill feelings towards him and am just genuinely gutted as haven't had such a connection with someone in a long time. Oh well, its shown me what I'm looking for 😊

That’s sad @Slothmomma however you have been on fire recently and I reckon you should surf that wave and have faith an even better connection is going to follow shortly 🥰🥰😘

I'm planning to get back on the dating train soon. Has anyone used Facebook Dating and what did they thing of it? (I'm just on Hinge at the moment, and it's got a bit dry.)

*think of it?

Had a check in message from Mr city last night. From what he said I get the impression he meant he didn't want to sleep with me whilst he was multidating and not all in as wouldn't be fair and he also doesn't sleep around as opposed to picking someone specifically over me. Doesn't help me obviously as he still prefers multidating to me but it was always a risk and why I don't like dating people fresh on apps (he'd only been on 2 weeks and I was only his second date) because I think they have to get the sweet shop mentality out of system. We've left it that we'll definitely say hi if we bump into each other out (we go similar places) and he's requested another dance and said shots are on him 😄

I forgot to say I got him Sunday evening to messages from Mr Mason (the one I split with after 7 months) telling me how much he missed me and wanted to turn back clock 😱 I had to let him down nicely again as I just don't feel same way.

@ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers I tried fb dating for literally 5 mins and didn't like it at all so shut it down quickly

@Slothmomma that is so true re people who are fresh on the apps... very difficult to be confident that they're not so wide-eyed by the ever-rotating carousel of opportunity that they don't know when they've got a good thing. Little does he know you represent the best he's going to get

don't like dating people fresh on apps (he'd only been on 2 weeks and I was only his second date) because I think they have to get the sweet shop mentality out of system.
interesting!
i have only dabbled briefly with Bumble only because I got chatting to a woman in a pub last year who was with a lovely looking guy and asked how they met and she said Bumble😁
I just v really don’t’t have the stomach for apps.

@ibelieveinmirrorballs we've all been there but personally I learnt that whilst there is an ocean of opportunity most I definitely threw straight back in 😄

My emotionally-unavailable iron Mr Serb and I agreed a few days ago we will revert to being friends. I have been so frustrated by his poor communication, and he still has unresolved issues from his marriage and a phenomenally busy work life and teenager with SEN tho I do think he uses these as excuses for avoiding intimacy.

We have been for a year in what a friend calls a ‘Toxic Tango’ . He gets close then gets scared when I reciprocate and withdraws which frustrates me, so I leave him be and busy myself with other things so he sees me being happy so feels safe to approach again and the cycle continues.
We have so many interested in common and mutual friends through those and live about a mile apart. We have tried this before and each time just ended up getting closer to this time I have to be really clear about boundaries.
We are meeting up today to do a mutual hobby which friends tell me is unwise -the problem is that he has knowledge that makes him the best person to do this hobby with (not a euphemism😁) so regardless of our ‘relationship’ and of he were unattractive I’ would want to do it anyway.
So am going to try to put him in a ‘hobby box’ and make my boundary that we stick to that rather than extending it to drink afterwards etc. Last night there was a mutual friend’s drinks party. As he normally arrives late to those things eg 10 p.m. I went early, had a good time and left around 9.30. People know I get up early for the gym so not pointed or gossip-inducing.
Would be grateful for any vibes y’all can send me this afternoon for keeping to my boundary 😁😁😁😁

Kalimera everyone
on me holidays
have been super healthy but somewhat blew it yesterday
my birthday !!!
ill slowly catch up on everyone

ive been reading that book to my girlfriends
‘mr unavailable’

they all find it rather depressing and confronting !!!!

Hey all, back from my night with Mr Valley. He was so lovely, had even put lots of flowers on the bed. Really glad to get intimate with him but found it uncomfortable 😣 and didn’t climax. Not helped by his size (which would usually be a plus). I told him afterwards what was up. He said he didn’t notice anything. So we’ll see, maybe just try different approaches etc. think I may need some counselling alongside my surgery to start enjoying it all again. thanks for all
your support.

@Slothmomma Im really pleased Mr City got in touch and you didn’t have to. It sounds like it was constructive. How are you feeling now? Good point about people fresh on. Hadn’t even thought about it but you’re right. I hope he was just a taste of what you have to come X

@JangolinaPitt well done on planning ahead and committing to your boundaries. Good luck tonight - no one needs a toxic tango in their lives!

HowlongWillThisTakeNow

im a fan off eveything off

I now shave (using man’s razor and shaving foam) and I find it easier fresher better for my vag health

and this is a controversial topic and no rights or wrongs !
well done on that dinner , I’d be super touched of
someone made that for me

Slothmomma

my friend was dropped by someone who’d just paid £250 to join a certain app

he was very clear he felt he’d met her too soon and wasn’t optimising his investment 😒

charming hey

it’s a shame though as you clearly had a connection

Levithecat

look up tantra
there Are a few techniques that might help.

if he’s such a sensitive soul he might be up for it
what surgery did you have

Mila14

id keep in touch with mr wall
the fact he’s being open and is working on himself is positive sign
and I also think you are super right to be cautious

@Thisisworsethananticpated …HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Enjoy dear Worsy

ADVISORY SEX EXPLICIT THINGIES
@Levithecat …I personally think it’s great you DTD. So you are less hung up about it and know you can still have sex normally. About not orgasming, have you tried clit stimulation? This can aid also penetration. Use a good lubricant and perhaps you need more manual before penetration. I think counselling is good if you can’t get horny or are tooo worried. You can now relax a bit more about your prolapse as there really is no issue for him. It’s still an issue for you and hopefully you will get this corrected very soon ( I think you said op in September??)
counselling it’s always a good idea if it goes together with your op and it’s done by sex therapist too
Its possible you didn’t dilate right for his size because your mental issue with prolapse etc.If you are tense, you don’t relax the muscle around to allow for penetration
All in all well done for giving it a try and I am glad it was with Mr Valley as he seems really nice man ( apart from well endowed 😝)

@JangolinaPitt …if you can friendzone him that might work. Have you thought about FWB? It works for people and the “I love you” thing is not uttered. You can still date to find someone more like a partner
@Slothmomma …Very decent of Mr Nice to speak to you the truth. That shows you picked the right person. You never know if after dating here and there he comes back and decides you are the right person. But yes, it’s tricky when people have just started on the apps. I’m a bit still exploring and quite unable to decide anything I think

Morning everyone..ohh @Mila14 good you got it on with valley man, am quite jealous! And as regards multi dating, nowt wrong with that.

Ohhh not me @Levithecat did!

Thank you @Slothmomma 👍🏻 I'll find something else when the time comes ❤️

Happy birthday @Thisisworsethananticpated! 🎉

Thanks so much @Mila14 - I didn’t feel massively horny and felt a bit disconnected. Which is odd because I really fancy him. TMI but I’m also struggling with mastrubation at the moment and that has never been an issue before, so think it’s all to do with me.
Have an initial discussion with a psychosexual therapist next week, and I think next time we dtd I need to work to be really present, go slow, eye contact, more chat etc.

Ooh, @Thisisworsethananticpated - many happy returns!