Dating Thread 231: Summer Lovin

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
Develop a thick skin.
Do not invest emotionally too soon.
It's all BS until it actually happens.
Trust your gut instinct.
People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
Know your worth.
If it's not fun, stop.
Loo update is mandatory.
No dating the thread.
Treat others as you'd like to be treated
Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@Slothmomma how are you feeling? I’m sorry about that but I hope Mr Libra is still around and interested. and yes, better now than after you’d dtd.

@Mila14 look forward to hearing how it goes with MrA

I'm licking my wounds as I did actually feel a connection with this one - shame he didn't feel same way though 🤷‍♀️

Haven't heard any further from Mr libra.

@Slothmomma so sorry about Mr city. It's good that he told you before you got too invested. But it's still a shitty thing to do on his part ❤️

I can't really say he's done anything wrong - we all multi date till we find our one - I just wasn't his one 🤷‍♀️

@Mila14 so pleased to hear about your date! Good luck 🤞🏻🍀❤️

@Slothmomma

Sorry Slothmomma I hope you are doing ok today. Do something nice for yourself instead to take you mind off him

Will you contact Mr Libra or just leave it with him?

Thanks, neatly trimmed it is then !

My friend is 5'9 & she's having the hardest time on OLD finding men that are taller than her! We sit there studying the photos of them standing, trying to work out their height by some background object (as she's had sooo many times of meeting Mr6 foot & he's actually shorter than her!)

I bet, I the average height for men in the UK is 5’10, and since OLD is subset of the population you will only find a small number of taller people maybe it should be compulsory for everyone to have their picture taken next to a reference object, like one of giant Pluto’s you get at Disney world, so can gauge height,…

Sorry to hear that re Mr City - sounds like he's behaved decently and been honest/upfront, but doesn't stop it stinging a bit.

It does sound however as though there's a bit of a flurry of irons, which is a very good thing, so hopefully that will bode well by bringing another high quality one forth with immediate effect .

Sorry to hear that, was this the one with the 10 hour date-a-thon? , I thought you were on a sure thing with him,

Perhaps that's what all those men are doing when they're holding those giant fish... except they're crouching down in the photos... oh..

Adding to the male grooming chat, I like trimmed but not shaved. My exH sometimes shaved (incl stomach/chest) and I really didn’t like the stubble. Trimmed is softer.

im going to stay with Valley boy tonight as my DC are away on holiday with their dad’s family. Wish me luck! I think I’d like to dtd, just mulling over whether to mention my gynae issue or not. We had a good chat last night about not moving too fast emotionally, and he seemed interested in my view of casual monogamy. I’m not sure he’s the casual type (and I may not be, who knows!).

The artist stopped by for coffee y’day too, and messaged me throughout the day. I wonder if I’m becoming a bit of a support person for him. Not sure how I feel about it if there’s no potential. I’d be happy to be just friends but he is engaging with me more than most friends would.

MrNice shaves and I agree re the stubble - I will be getting my laser hair removal gadget out next week and springing that on him

This all seems so good re Valley boy - what I love about all of this stuff is learning new things about what we can and can't handle, and realising that the standard issue type of relationship progression we may have thought we were looking for isn't quite what we can either handle or want. It's a very good sign that you're having these conversations already - even that feels very refreshing to me. Have a great time later.

I also wonder if the situation with Artist is going to be a good opportunity for you to assert some gentle boundaries which in turn will make you feel good about yourself. It's one thing to be friends with someone, but that doesn't mean you have to give of them precisely as much as they would like to take.

Sage words @ibelieveinmirrorballs - It is interesting how your feelings can shift, I was telling him how fixed I’d been on multi dating etc. but now that doesn’t feel right.

and I think you’re completely right on the artist. I wonder how he’ll respond when I’m not available for him. I have a feeling that’ll make him come on harder, which is telling. If he is cool about it that would be great.

HowlongWillThisTakeNow We've discovered that a door/frame is good for a measurement photo ('There's no way he's 6 foot, he's halfway down the door!)

Levithecat I would also be wary of the Artist just taking when he wants to take.
Have a lovely time with Valley boy.
I would mention the gynae issue only if it would make you feel better, I'm sure it will all be fine

ibelieveinmirrorballs I think you've solved the mystery. In their own way, men are using the fish as rulers

Thanks all, I'll be ok. @NervesOfCotton no I won't chase Mr libra and still haven't heard any further and yes @HowlongWillThisTakeNow the marathon date was date 2 with Mr city - maybe that did it 🤔😄

Slothmomma Couldn't handle your amazing-ness I recon
Onwards & upwards. I wouldn't contact libra either.

Yes @NervesOfCotton I'm sure that's what is was 😉😄

But in all seriousness I was treated so badly by ex dh in last months of our marriage whilst he was cheating and in the year after where he lied and gaslit me about it that I won't chase anyone as I just want to feel like someone actually wants me and at the first sign of any indecision towards me I back off.

We've discovered that a door/frame is good for a measurement photo ('There's no way he's 6 foot, he's halfway down the door!

takes mental note, stand next to smaller door frame for future pictures, will look like a giant and get loads of interest…..

I think you've solved the mystery. In their own way, men are using the fish as rulers

wrong sort of ruler 📏
I have done a bit of fishing, and it’s very peaceful, but as boring as hell, I like my fish deep fried and served with golden hot chips. ( but no gravy..)

Loving the chat about personal grooming habits! I must say I prefer the rugged but hygienic look myself.
Wanted to follow my previous update (where I dropped the irons that were a bit meh and cooled off on the one I liked a lot but wasn't emotionally available as I was his rebound)
Now that one I liked keeps initiating fairly frequent yet mundane conversation via text.
I'm not certain but I feel quite like he likes having me there as a sort of option. Up until recently we would see each other once a week or two.

Male grooming….I like a hairy guy, not keen on smooth/shaven, it’s fine if they trim, a beard is always a bonus. My peachy has a hairy chest and back but no beard 😞.

A iron from ages ago (2 years +) messaged me today via POF, not sure why as he is a friend on FB. I have a feeling it was due to a photo I posted on my FB yesterday which was a bit risky (bikini shot). I’m guessing he will want to meet up but he’s really boring and not that great in bed so I shall be declining.

Meeting Mr Peachy at the weekend for some fun, he does keep dropping hints to see me during the week but I keep declining, once a week is plenty and he does live over an hours drive away.

@Slothmomma gutted about mr city. Sundays are often family days so maybe Libra thought you were at familys.. no reason for him to assume you were on a date. I think if he’s interested he’ll be back. I wouldn’t chase / contact either.