Dating Thread 231: Summer Lovin

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
Develop a thick skin.
Do not invest emotionally too soon.
It's all BS until it actually happens.
Trust your gut instinct.
People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
Know your worth.
If it's not fun, stop.
Loo update is mandatory.
No dating the thread.
Treat others as you'd like to be treated
Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Absolutely - it only works I think if the arrangement matches what each party is happy to receive from the other person.

Love the Cuban heels idea 😅

@Daydreamscometrue - don’t sweat it. I’m unexpectedly loving the short men in my life atm!

@Mila14 very glad to hear you’re also happy in your own skin. I feel better now in my early 40s than I ever have. I never appreciated my lovely figure when I was young, but I know how to dress it now.
you sound like you’re having a great time and have such a good attitude. do you think you can protect yourself emotionally enough with the ex?
I still have a terrible relationship with my exH sadly, but I try not to mention him to irons.

@Bloodyel that is tough but you’ve done exactly the right thing. I knew there wasn’t any future with Mr Blonde, much as we had a great physical connection. It’s a lot to keep multiple irons going.

@ibelieveinmirrorballs youre spot on about OLD, it’s the thing I find hardest about it (basing decisions on a brief profile, so arbitrary). MrNice is being pretty fricking perfect isn’t he. Do you think you’ll reach a point where you want to go all in for him?

I lurk and rarely post (but am very invested in everyone’s adventures and especially value the contribution of the honest and kind men who post on here).
I met someone last year who is emotionally unavailable (met in RL which makes it awkward s as we have lots of mutual friends) but e do have fun together and he has massively improved my life. One of the things he has done for me is th at when I asked him recently what attracted him to me he was flummoxed y the question and said that I have a great body and am intelligent and funny. 😁 Forget intelligent - I am so shallow that I was flattered by the body comment because I completely lost confidence when I was married.

And so am 60 😁😁😁😁

He is 51.

@JangolinaPitt …go jangolina!!! You have a beautiful body and a younger guy lover. And why not??? One has to be intelligent to enjoy feeling shallow. I think your ex lover was great at really showing you can enjoy and are sexy. Are you still looking to OLD? Or are you in a pause?

Going for the younger man, Check you out 👍🏼

Ms No Show is a 2 years younger than me, check me out, an old fart talking to a younger woman. 😎

@Levithecat …I also have a very strained relationship with my exH. MrEx is my boyfriend straight after marriage. We broke up last year but we seem to unable to leave each other fully. It’s complicated but now I find I fully understand everything and know what I want. But he’s always going to be in my life in one way or the other, I think. We will disappear in some periods and then suddenly meet for dinner and it’s like time never passed.
To be completely honest I really really liked Mr Wall and felt quite disappointed there was all this major shit in his life and abuse and what not because that makes it impossible for us to have a go at anything.He’s not ready to date anyone and needs more therapy I think
Current iron Mr A is still someone I am going to meet IRL. It worries me that everything I say he agrees with and he’s too eager… I don’t know…I think he’s getting quite invested and I’m not at that point. I’m still open to look around so it means I am very unsure Mr A is what I’m looking for.

So I have (another) question, surrounding the delicate subject of manscaping,
I know this is my choice really, but all off, neatly trimmed or “natural”, I’m leaning towards neatly trimmed, I’m grey upstairs (and downstairs ), so I think that’s probably best, the bald turkey eagle is never a pleasant look for anyone

Thoughts & opinions welcome.

I think you are really underselling yourself. It’s brilliant you are enjoying time with a lady who clearly likes you and respects you. I would also give Mrs H a wide berth after all…Mrs no Show is worth investing your feelings on

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow …you can trim if you like. My ex boyfriend never trimmed anything. He was au naturel and I really didn’t care to be honest. I’m fully lasered and waxed. 😉😂😂😂. It’s my preference. Perhaps she really doesn’t mind. I don’t in a man to be honest. But to be on the safe side…trim

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow I'm not sure I have a preference but have mostly encountered neatly trimmed I would say 😁

Haven't heard from Mr libra since Sunday morning when he asked to see me again but I couldn't as had arranged to see Mr city. He'd messaged during date and I replied when home on the evening but whilst he read it he's not responded so I think he probably guessed because of the amount of time out that I was probably on a date. I've told a other iron that I'm taking a break as not much freetime because he lives over an hour away. So now all my eggs are in one basket - which isn't good - but I can't split focus on people if I'm particularly interested in one so if this crash and burns I'll just go back to drawing board again I guess

@Slothmomma …why could you not meet Mr Libra? Could you not date after lunch with MrCity?. I’m sure Mr Libra is still interested. You could still date him today or tomorrow.

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow I say whatever makes you feel most confident - that’s what I like above all in men… I want to feel at ease and for them to as well.

@Slothmomma if Libra is bothered about the fact you might be on a date when he’s only met you once then… no thanks. I think it’s good to mentally move on - you’ve messaged him, there’s not much more to say or do. I think constant culling is good…

@Mila14 are you feeling okay about being intimate with MrEx..? I know you’d said you weren’t going to go there….

Height - I'm 5'4 but I've dated several men my height. I don't mind but wouldn't really like any shorter & would ideally like a bit taller (5'8+)

HowlongWillThisTakeNow There is a discussion about this on another forum I'm on & the men on there say that they are all either trimmed or all shaved off, if that's any help?! The women say they don't mind if a man is natural but don't expect them to be all shaved themselves if you yourself have got a bushy bush. (That's my thought too!)

Slothmomma That's a shame about Mr Libra. I'm the same, I struggle with multiple dating.

Mila That sounds hard with MrA. I hate it when they keep agreeing, it's like, I don't want an argument but just have your own opinion!

@Mila14 I didn't have time to squeeze a date in with Mr libra Sunday as well as Iet mr city at 12 and didn't get home till 9.30. I've got the kids back now so freetime is limited anyway. I'm free tomorrow night but made plans with Mr city (as long as he doesn't pull out of course) which is part of reason I haven't chased Mr libra up I guess

Oh and I'm 5' 9" and have dated 5' 8" but nobody shorter than that seems to swipe me 😄

@ibelieveinmirrorballs …yes. I was happy to run to my woman cave after being with Mr Ex. It was intense for him…but not for me really? I’m not ready to let him go. This will sound awful but he’s now my fallback guy. I needed a mental and soothing break after dating Mr Wall. Still not a peep from him. But I know that he will ping me back
@NervesOfCotton …I’m still undecided about MrA…he’s too nice and too willing to chat every day and he’s just so nice. He’s attractive too but I don’t know…
Mr Wall is a man of very few words but when he says he fancies me crazy I believe him. mrA talks a lot and is always complimenting me but I don’t feel as massively fancied as I felt with Mr Wall. This is all very weird. I can’t get Mr Wall off my thoughts.
Mr Ex feels like a soothing lavender oil bath with candles. Just peaceful and predictable. He always always wants me so I don’t have to think. He does all the thinking and planning.

I get that. It is also probably for the best as I think you fancy Mr City more than Mr Libra. But I also understand you feeling a bit all in with the one iron. I think you need to trust your gut feeling on these matter. There’s nothing logical about why we make the choices we do 😂😂
Enjoy Mr City 😉

Slothmomma My friend is 5'9 & she's having the hardest time on OLD finding men that are taller than her! We sit there studying the photos of them standing, trying to work out their height by some background object (as she's had sooo many times of meeting Mr6 foot & he's actually shorter than her!)

It's difficult when you don't have much time isn't it. I'm kind of looking but not looking right now, as I'll barely have time to see them anyway! (I agree though, stay with Mr City for now)

Mila Those intense 'I can't stop thinking about you' feelings are tough aren't they!
I would probably go for MrWall from what you've said.

@NervesOfCotton yeah I've sort of given up worrying about height - I have it on my profile so if its an issue for them they can choose not to match but in dating for 3 years barely anyone is taller than me - all the 5' 11" men are usually my height at most. I even had one argue with me that there's no way I'm 5' 9" as I was the same height as him 🤦‍♀️😄

@NervesOfCotton … i would also go for mr Wall but he’s quite unwell after massive abuse ( alcoholic ex wife,he has DC custody ). It’s too soon. He’s been 2 years living apart and in his cave. Like a celibate wounded creature
i just had video call with Mr A. He’s growing on me. But he’s really too eager . He needs to calm down or I will get spooked.

Mr city has let me down for tomorrow. He's admitted he's been on a date tonight so needs to think things through. I've said that if he has to decide his decision is sort of made as if he was interested there would be no decision 🤷‍♀️ he's said he wants to stay friends but I've said I'm not sure how that would work really in circumstances. Glad he was honest before I stayed over though

@Slothmomma … don’t worry and yes it’s good you didn’t get more invested. This is the thing… the guys are also having irons and dating crazy. So it works both ways. Don’t take it personally. Is there any chance to rekindle things with Mr Libra? Is he available tomorrow? You lose nothing trying

In other news. I’ve erased WhatsApp chat and phone number for Mr Wall. I think I’m starting to get a bit invested in Mr A. He’s also quite handsome 😊