Dating Thread 231: Summer Lovin

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
Develop a thick skin.
Do not invest emotionally too soon.
It's all BS until it actually happens.
Trust your gut instinct.
People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
Know your worth.
If it's not fun, stop.
Loo update is mandatory.
No dating the thread.
Treat others as you'd like to be treated
Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Loving hearing about the cute dates and good vibes flying about 🥰🥰💕

Hope youre feeling ok @NervesOfCotton it’s disappointing but you’ve seen the true him and that’s all we can hope for!

I'm doing great thank you Butterfly

All the happy date stories are lovely aren't they!

to try an answer your questions, she is about 30 mins drive, she was driving yesterday so only 1 wine.
ms H is definitely in the friendship zone now, I really like as person, but time/ availability wise it just wasn’t working for me.
I think postponing dtd was a good move, I felt relaxed all evening ( I think she did), there were a few flirty comments, and was a good kiss ( I thought),

saying the above, she is probably on this it’s now starting a thread saying the she the went to some old blokes house for dinner and he didn’t make any moves, what’s wrong with him

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow 😁 I doubt it. It’s just great when someone shows they fancy you, which it sounds like you did. Are messages flirty?

lots of lovely summer loving. Hope everyone’s doing well

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow it all sounds super cool I’m sure she’ll be delighted she’s met a gent! Well done on all the cooking too!

@NervesOfCotton it’s cute isn’t it! Hopefully one day we’ll both be on here sharing happy date stories!! 💘 😄😄
For me personally I’m alright at the minute and don’t want my boat rocked!
(That is not a euphemism 😅)

Butterfly What's all this 'hopefully' chat?! We will both be on here with success stories one day

Sings 'Our love is like a ship on the ocean, we've been sailing with a cargo full of love and devotion... Rock the boat, don't rock the boat baby'

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow all sounding very promising! Great she lives so close by.. am remembering Ms Wales (?) who was 4 hours away..! For an “old fart” as you describe yourself, not doing OLD, you have a great success rate! 😝

@Bloodyel that's great to hear. The rules pinned above are good to remember and contain a lot of wisdom - it should be fun… it’s harder to ditch them if you’re properly attached but at the start when you’re starting chats and planning dates, if it’s making you feel anxious or uncomfortable, get rid.

@ibelieveinmirrorballs
ive said this before on this forum and I will repeat it, I think OLD is a waste of time for most men, I pop in here sometimes and read the posts and it’s full of ppl getting matches and chats and dates, something I never got when on OLD, but I do find if I can actually get in-front of someone I seem to do okay 👍🏼
i also think this is the reason some men will lie about their height, they know if they can get in-front of someone it might click, so try a not so tall guy, you might like one

on the subject of height, I’m 6ft with slim body type ( think long distance runner), do women like that body type or do women like a more muscular man, ( I’m never going to be muscular, I have the right frame)

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow I agree with that - all my previous dates bizarrely were precisely 6’2… for some reason MrNice is the only person I’ve met where I didn’t know in advance how tall he was - we just hadn’t discussed it at all. As I walked over to meet him for the first time I was panicking he might be really short. He’s also a different physique - slim athletic build, I usually go for bigger muscular build but I think this is insecurity on my part as I don’t like to feel physically bigger than my partner and I’m 5’8 and size 14.

In general I think we should all try and go for different types as we might be surprised - it’s hard to want to do this sometimes as I don’t want to waste my time/money as it has been hard over the years to organise a date in terms of childcare etc - this has made me not want to risk it - on reflection this may have not been a good thing!

Height is not something I care about personally, if the person is great. All three of my recent irons are short. My ExH was tall and willowy… I generally need a strong mental connection with someone, so looks grow on me. I spoke to Valley boy for 3 weeks before meeting him, which goes against my ‘rules’ - every conversation was a joy, and he’s very bright. That’s sexy.
I get that, as OLD is primarily looks based my approach doesn’t fit well, but with profiles the ones I’m drawn to are well written, positive, the photos show someone who is happy and not pulling one of the classic OLD poses.

(I’m slightly smaller than Valley boy, but definitely heavier I’d say - but I really like my shape/body so it’s all good)

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow …you will find most women don’t like fat bot bellied men, especially if they take a bit of care of themselves. Slim build is good, definitely and 6’ is great as most write 6’ and are shorter. In the en it has to clock mentally and intellectually I think. Both parties need to be emotionally open too.
I must confess I’ve been a lot with MrEx, DTD and feeling quite close to him again after very ,omg long chats. I understand a lot more now. However I continue in my personal search. Mr A wants to video chat all the time and we have twice as he’s away but I think it’s too much. He’s super keen. I like him too but I’m really difficult customer😂😂😂. I think he’s too desperate to impress me too. It’s nice in a way but it shows insecurity in other levels. We’ll do dinner in 2 weeks and see how it goes. Mr Wall has disappeared in his cave but I know he will resurface soon…

This is really sexy…you like your shape and body. I am also on that wave length. I feel really comfortable naked too. It’s taken me years…not even at 20 did I feel so good. It’s great. Looks super with Mr Valley boy…😍

@ibelieveinmirrorballs …I still like 6’ and over…I don’t know…I just love the difference and find it sexy. It’s quite difficult to find a complete package in anyone though…but right now I think being in my emotional open wave length is what I need and being sorted somehow too, financially and regarding their marriage, merely because I want no complications with exes and because I’ve worked hard to get sorted myself.

@Bloodyel …I’m on your same boat. Too many irons don’t work for me. I prefer to concentrate in one I really like and I feel really attracted to and go from there. But I also don’t get massively invested in anyone until I meet and even then I am really analytical. I try to have fun anyway and enjoy the dates.

😂😂😂😂 I think you will strike the love boat quite soon. But in the meantime, let’s have some fun too.

I totally get it... I think the difficulty with OLD though is that it does encourage us to stay within our known silos and I'm sure we may miss out on some amazing connections because of it. Starting to experience powerful connection with MrNice and it feels electrical and other-worldly and when I think 'could I reduce this feeling to being contingent upon how tall this person is or some other characteristic?" I know that it really has nothing to do with it. But if you start from the other end of the process and have the massive haystack of potentials in the algorithm stack and are wanting to get to an end point of other-worldly connection with someone, we feel like we have to filter out based on known aspects that we find attractive vs less-attractive.

I'm feeling warm and fuzzy having received another posted letter from MrNice who is on his travels again. Also have had a great fun call with MrM who I'm speaking to probably once a week with a few texts in between. Feeling like I have the beginnings of a romantic relationship as well as a fun, friendly, respectful occasional thing with MrM and will continue to communicate with MrNice fully about all of that. Things are feeling calm and good!

@Mila14 yes it's for the best to only.concentrate on ones that you fins that spark with. My problem is the vast majority of men I meet through OLD or by other means I don't feel anything for. Then recently I was seeing a few, one of which I really liked but he'd just left a long term thing and I think I was like an emotional Al rebound tbh. My others I realised I didn't feel anything for and felt I was stringing them along to boost myself a bit but I coukd see it wasn't right so finished with all of them. I feel relieved to be free of the headache but at the same time a bit defeated as it really isn't very often that I feel anything.

I'm not sure why it says AI in the middle of mt post I can assure you I'm not a robot. 😅

@Bloodyel … I think we all have to be ready when we date to be on the side of someone’s rebound or be ourselves the ones that are with someone to forget our last meaningful relationship. I also feel like I can’t feel anything many times. At the moment I’ve rekindled things with my ex but he’s not what I want in a life partner so I’m looking forward to meeting someone who ticks my buttons. I can’t say I really really like anyone or fancy anyone if I still have my ex to fall back in.
@ibelieveinmirrorballs … you seem to have struck gold with your current set up but you don’t need mrM in the same way. I do still enjoy DTD with Mr ex and crave intimacy with him. But then I want to be on my own and look to date . I think I will leave MrEx when I find my mr Nice 😂😂😂

All of this talk of heights has me concerned as I've just agreed to a date with a guy who is 5ft 6. I'm 5ft 8 without the heels I'll be wearing! I'm not bothered about height but I will find it strange if I am a bigger build (size 12 and sporty)

Some really interesting comments above, I don’t think I could continue to see ms H (and have sex with her), if when I start to dtd with ms No show,

@Daydreamscometrue tell him to get some Cuban Heel Cowboy Boots 🥾

I used to wear some when I was at Uni, I thought they were the business, I probably looked like a right dick head in reality