Dating Thread 231: Summer Lovin

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
Develop a thick skin.
Do not invest emotionally too soon.
It's all BS until it actually happens.
Trust your gut instinct.
People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
Know your worth.
If it's not fun, stop.
Loo update is mandatory.
No dating the thread.
Treat others as you'd like to be treated
Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Gosh that’s so true @BellaDiMamma
I’m a bit overweight, have cellulite (plus my sexy prolapse 😅) but I really try to be playful and unselfconscious and happy to be naked with a partner.

mr Blonde has clearly lost a lot of weight very quickly, and he could be really self conscious about that but he is so confident and assertive it just doesn’t cross my mind. It really is about the attitude.

Not sure if this is also reassuring @HowlongWillThisTakeNow but my 'assessment' of how good in bed someone is (I promise there are no clipboards ) has nothing to do with whether they can finish etc - it's about the whole package, whether they have any clue what a g spot is, how bossy they are (er, that's just me ), whether they are generous lovers/good with their hands, whether we can also chat shit and have a laugh, whether they make me feel amazing generally. Most women do not necessarily find it easy to orgasm themselves but we're conditioned to think that men do, so can often think it's our fault if they don't.

Thanks all, normally once I “get going “, everything is okay, but certainly 1st Night nerves has been an issue in the past,

I did manage to cop a feel while kissing, and her boobs seem fine to me !

I agree with the others @HowlongWillThisTakeNow and would say that I don't expect the performance of a 22 year-old from a 50 year old and I'd hope they don't expect thr body of a 22 year in my 45 year old posy 3 kids body 😄 have fun!

Didn't bump into mr city last night whilst out as he went somewhere different in end. He has however messaged this morning asking if I'm free to spend afternoon with him so I'm heading into the city again to enjoy some drinks in this beautiful weather 😊

@Slothmomma its absolute perfection today isnt it 🌞🥰 enjoy yourself!

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow who’s idea was it to go round your house for the date? You could always change it and suggest going out?

It is @ButterflyOfShay but it means I have to put a dress on as opposed to jeans and peri bloating means I'm feeling a little fat so not feeling very confident 😖

@Slothmomma the good thing about dresses is they always look amazing, and they’re much more comfy than jeans!
update us after 😍💗

@Slothmomma … enjoy your date and don’t think too much. I’m sure you look lovely

I went out last night with MrEx. Had a lovely evening.

Mr Wall keeps messaging me. I think he really got his wall chinked a bit. He wants to keep seeing me but I said it will be strictly on friends terms. He’s such a beautiful man

I am talking to a new iron that looks promising I think. We will not be able to meet until late august as he’s away on holidays but I think he sounds open and he looks quite nice. He’s also tall and into euro ( his ex wife euro too) so that’s ok by me. We’ll see. I’m calling this one Mr A.

It was mine, poor women, if she can survive my cooking - she must be a keeper

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow … don’t worry, you will be fine. Be careful she does not feel rejected if you don’t want to go the whole way and she does.

Had a good date with Mr Peachy, still worried about the age gap and a few other things so I don’t think it will amount to much, we DTD and he has no issues in that department. He’s very chatty and sociable where as I am quite a private shy person with a small friendship circle, he also drinks quite a lot and I’m almost t total, we only have a couple things in common and many things we don’t have in common so i think I will get bored pretty quickly 😬. I think I want to keep my options open and date other people, I still have a big crush on Mr Cherry but he’s so slow at making any move (which is driving me nuts), not sure why I can’t stop thinking about him.

Just testing to see if the app finally works!

That sounds like fun though @Lovemusic33 - imagine it’s exactly because Mr Cherry is being elusive that you like him so much…

I’ve just called it off with Mr Blonde. Feeling a bit rotten about it but realised I need to give a fair go
with Valley boy, and I just don’t seem to have it in me to date two blokes properly. When I’m with mr Valley next I’ll have a little chat about expectations etc. I’m slightly worried that I’ve gone for the man that needs a bit of looking after, and I’m really trying not to be that woman any more. We’ll see.
had a lovely day with the Artist but definitely just friends. I still fancy him but will get over it.

I think your right about Mr Cherry, I think if he was really interested and chasing me I would lose interest pretty quickly. I have backed right off from him but he still messages me every week or so asking how I am but makes no real effort to arrange anything. I was hoping DTD with Mr Peachy would help take my mind off him.

Butterfly It's so lovely to hear that you are happy, I'm really pleased to hear that you are in a good placexxx

MrSchoolRun txt me when we were out (hmm something to do with my txt I think!) & we met up (luckily my kids were in their full rainbow colours)
It was fine. Not awkward at all really. (I mean, he was sulky at first but I left him to it)
I had one brief moment where I thought 'Aww, he's so lovely' & then I gave myself a mental slap & soon stopped that!

I'm glad that first meeting is done

I'm actually feeling really positive about dating going forward.
After all, they can't be much worse than 'Disaster date' can they, & I survived that!

Levithecat I hope you aren't giving yourself too much of a hard time

well done on standing firm @NervesOfCotton - MrSchoolRun was a massive disappointment as a human. You’re sounding really positive 💪

Thanks for the kind words. I was feeling so cool with it all until I actually started to have some feelings… ugh. Think maybe I’m just tired. Mr Blonde sent a lovely reply, and I think we’d get back in touch if the occasion arises.

Thank you Levithecat The whole things been drawn out for so long & it's the first time I've tried to navigate things re dates & my kids/other mens kids etc & I know it sounds silly but I'm feeling really strong!

I'm glad Mr Blonde sent you a nice reply, that helps doesn't it. It's nice that you feel that the 'door is still open' kind of thing for the future. Be kind to yourself.
Feelings get in the way of everything don't they!

Hope everyone had a great weekend - wasn't the weather glorious?? My DC came back on Saturday after 2 weeks away... and we actually managed to have some good wholesome beachy times together without any teenage histrionics.. lots of cuddles and a good reminder that it can be lovely sometimes, after a hard year of feeling like my two cute babies had turned into balls of anxiety and hormones.

@Levithecat well handled with all of this - I think when you send a decent "good luck with it" message and get a lovely one back, it makes you feel like you're winning at this a bit - it's a great feeling to be treating people with respect and moving forward with what you want. And all sounds good with Valley and the Artist - I think the best we can do is be aware of the choices we're making so we can track how we feel about it as things move forward. Ultimately none of us know how things are going to turn out with anyone, and life/dating/love isn't a 'painting by numbers' exercise - keep going with the ones who make us feel good about ourselves is what I say.

@NervesOfCotton glad you've got over that hurdle and can now move on feeling stronger for the next one. Mr School Run was but a practice date... and as you say, things can only get better

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow hope all went well with Ms No Show last night...

went good thanks, I made a chicken Caesar Salad and served it with a chilled Chablis, followed by Eton Mess, & coffee, I only have a small garden, but we sat outside chatting until she left, all very lovely and relaxing with a decent kiss as well,
she is on summer hols soon and I have some family stuff to deal with, so probably won’t be anther date for a couple of weeks, but so far so good

Sounds like a lovely evening..! Does she live close by? This is all sounding very promising…

What’s the lie of the land with MsH..?

Glad the date went well @HowlongWillThisTakeNow

Also glad to hear things sorted @NervesOfCotton and you can continue to let the kids do stuff together

My date with Mr City turned into an 8 hours solid one 😱😄 We met in City centre and he took me for lunch. We then went to his (he lives in centre) and we spent the afternoon on his terrace chilling, chatting and listening/talking music - even had a bit of slow dancing 😊 Lots of kissing but behaved 😇 however next date arranged for Wednesday evening and I think likely I'll be staying over 😉

@Slothmomma … wow…brilliant. I think Mr City looking promising
@HowlongWillThisTakeNow … excellent date and well done on your lovely lunch. Me No show becoming the right lady so far. How do you feel about Ms H
@ibelieveinmirrorballs … it’s so good to get your DC back in a bit of peace. Hormones are hormones and theirs are on permanent civil war so enjoy the truce while it lasts 😂😂😂
@NervesOfCotton … it’s good that kids are doing their thing but this man although looking lovely sometimes has a very dark underside.
@Levithecat . You have done the decent thing with Mr Blonde. All these liaisons are very provisional and always there’s someone who goes disappointed. Get to know Mr Valley and see how you feel and enjoy friendship with MrArty. Looks quite a good set up for you

Mila He does indeed... He doesn't even look lovely just 'Ok', it was mainly the (fake) personality that had me hooked.

I'm just keeping my kids happy for now & if he ever shows any of that side around them then we are gone.

Slothmomma Mr City sounds lovely
Slightly jealous as I love a slow dance!

HowlongWillThisTakeNow Also sounding lovely!

ibelieveinmirrorballs Yes, 'Practice date' is good
It's been 2 years since I've had a date before him!

Yes I'm really liking Mr city but need to try not to overthink/let my anxieties kick in - already worrying about him disappearing after dtd but I tell myself I'd he disappears after that on date 3 then he'll disappear if I waited till say date 7 anyway if that's all he's after

Thank you to those who recommended that I drop my irons that weren't making me feel good.
I have done so and feel strangely relieved. Posting this in case anyone finds themselves in a similar situation.