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Original poster

Dating Thread 231: Summer Lovin

998 replies

Dancerinthemoonlight · 18/07/2022 11:28

The Rules:

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
Develop a thick skin.
Do not invest emotionally too soon.
It's all BS until it actually happens.
Trust your gut instinct.
People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
Know your worth.
If it's not fun, stop.
Loo update is mandatory.
No dating the thread.
Treat others as you'd like to be treated
Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

OP posts:
NervesOfCotton · 02/08/2022 09:15

Thisisworsethananticipated I know I've only just joined i'm but adding my 'voice' to let you know you aren't alone, I'm sadly experienced in the sick parent thingFlowers

Butterfly I think that's fine, re the drinking, I'm the same with the junk foodGrin

Mila14 · 02/08/2022 09:19

SortingItOut · 02/08/2022 07:40

@Stepcount I was emotionally involved with Mr K but we never verbalised it which isn't healthy. I think deep down we loved each other (in our own way) but never said it.
The lack of expressing needs and wants was a huge problem in our relationship and although I had started to overcome it Mr K found it too hard. So it was then a one sided discussion with only one of us stating our needs and wants.

If we had been able to have proper discussions about everything we wouldn't be over.

You have your life ahead to pick a better option. I think it’s a pity in a way that as we grow older…we find it harder to express our feelings and not giving a hoot about being vulnerable.
People are more guarded in general and when someone talks feelings we find it “intense” or TMI or “needy”…

Mila14 · 02/08/2022 09:20

HowlongWillThisTakeNow · 02/08/2022 09:14

I’d like very much to have a close encounter under my duvet

everything seems better with a close encounter under a duvet, especially if there is a woman (or man ) in there with you

Agree wholeheartedly!

NervesOfCotton · 02/08/2022 09:24

That's a good post Mila.
SortingItOut I hear you & I'm sorry.
I've always been shy & found it hard to express my real feelings, & worried about looking 'stupid'. Then when you are involved/trying to be involved with somebody else like that it makes things REALLY difficult doesn't it.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 02/08/2022 09:45

ButterflyOfShay

when one can’t abstain totally (and you are better than me !) i try to moderate to the NHS sacred ‘units per week’

what I really want to stop is


  • getting totally trashed

  • having half a bottle on a ‘bad day’

Slothmomma · 02/08/2022 12:53

Anyone ever matched with somebody you know is completely out of your league? I'm not even sure why I swiped as i usually don't if I think too good looking 😄

Anyway he's matched and messaged and did 2 phone calls yesterday and is still messaging today. He's not a catfish in that he is who his pics are as he sent me a video in which he says my name before swapping numbers to prove he was who he claims. I just don't get what he would see in me though - I'm not ugly but I'm not stunning, have a mom bod and am a divorced single mom of 3. Hes younger, professional job, no kids, well educated, extremely tall and my god is he good looking 😱 he looks a little ryan reynolds like (who I adore) - so my gut is saying all is not what it seems but I'm intrigued

NervesOfCotton · 02/08/2022 13:02

Aww good luck Slothmomma! Don't put yourself down so, I'm sure you are much more lovely than you give yourself credit for by the way. He seems keen so far & he must see something in you to carry on the chatSmile
You have your guard up & that's all you can do.

I do know what you mean, when I'm looking through the photos it's like 'Wierd looking/ancient/young/serial killer/WOW! Too fit for me'.
Because I have no confidence in myself either.

Slothmomma · 02/08/2022 13:16

@NervesOfCotton we use similar swipe criteria 😄 especially the serial killer category 😄

I've just had another message ping through from him asking how my morning shopping was. It can't just be a sex thing as there is no way he would struggle to get anyone to sleep with him and he's barking up wrong tree if this is a money scam 😄

NervesOfCotton · 02/08/2022 13:24

Slothmomma It's even worse when it's
Photo one 'Ooh, he's nice'
Photo Two 'Fuck no! Serial killer!'
(Mine is just a message one, not a swipey one)

Maybe he's asking about 'normal stuff' like shopping before starting the sex chat? (Sorry for the nagativity, I've had that before)

Slothmomma · 02/08/2022 13:33

Hmmm maybe but 2 calls last night and none of that. He's asked to call again in a bit 🤔 well I'll play along and see where this is going as intrigued now

NervesOfCotton · 02/08/2022 13:44

Well there's nothing happening for me Slothmomma Can you tell I'm boredGrin
So I'm intrigued too!

(I'm sure it will be fine, he does seem nicely keen & calls are good)Smile

Slothmomma · 02/08/2022 13:57

Well I will keep you posted 🤣

Oh and that catfish that hinge banned has popped up again - I've reported his 4th alias now between 3 sites 🤣

stillvicarinatutu · 02/08/2022 14:03

Hi - is this the OLD thread?

Can I pitch up please! Although I keep saying I'm gonna take a bit of a break from it as I'm so bloody demoralised.

Been on and off for 2.5 years. Loads of dates. Only two ever got a second date . One developed into a relationship but he decided "you just weren't THE ONE" after 6 weeks and the other who I initially did t want to see romantically really got under my skin , really grew to like him and everything seemed to be going great for a couple of months then bushka....he decided overnight he wasn't actually in love at all , decided he needed therapy and to stay away from all romantic relationships, by 2 weeks he was dating again and by 4 met someone and was planning more kids ! So seems I know how to pick 'em.

I'm only on bumble now . Just matched with a fireman . Seems nice . But I do t seem to be very good at the next bit !

Mila14 · 02/08/2022 14:52

@Slothmomma … you minx! I’m sure you are lovely too. Check his linked in . I normally check if all is coherent as I’ve had the surprising too handsome iron too more than once. He was legit. But drunk too much and wanted to party at 50 so it really put me off

Stayingstrongish · 02/08/2022 14:59

@Thisisworsethananticpated sorry just saw your message about my post making you think.. was just my ramblings. I don’t know what love is exactly, but I’m sure you can have a relationship with someone who cares about you and treats you well. Hope life gets easier for you.

HowlongWillThisTakeNow · 02/08/2022 15:27

'Wierd looking/ ancient

so you have met me then ?

ButterflyOfShay · 02/08/2022 15:43

Mila14 · 02/08/2022 09:19

You have your life ahead to pick a better option. I think it’s a pity in a way that as we grow older…we find it harder to express our feelings and not giving a hoot about being vulnerable.
People are more guarded in general and when someone talks feelings we find it “intense” or TMI or “needy”…

Show quote history

It’s weird as I’m the opposite, I’m finding the older I’m getting the more open and warm i become… but never been married or had a marriage turn sour, so may be why?
I was much more of a cold hearted little shyte when I was young 😂🙈

ButterflyOfShay · 02/08/2022 15:44

NervesOfCotton · 02/08/2022 09:15

Thisisworsethananticipated I know I've only just joined i'm but adding my 'voice' to let you know you aren't alone, I'm sadly experienced in the sick parent thingFlowers

Butterfly I think that's fine, re the drinking, I'm the same with the junk foodGrin

Thanks huni 💗 I feel like it’s ok to be bad every now and then as long as underneath that you’re the one in control and not it!!
A 100% well behaved life would be so tedious 😫😣

ButterflyOfShay · 02/08/2022 15:46

Thisisworsethananticpated · 02/08/2022 09:45

ButterflyOfShay

when one can’t abstain totally (and you are better than me !) i try to moderate to the NHS sacred ‘units per week’

what I really want to stop is


  • getting totally trashed

  • having half a bottle on a ‘bad day’

Half a bottle of what… and how big’s the bottle 😅
(a magnum of voddy for example) 😅

ButterflyOfShay · 02/08/2022 15:50

Ooooh @Slothmomma you’re on fire lady!! Tell me what your secret is 🤩🤩

Slothmomma · 02/08/2022 16:25

I'm not @ButterflyOfShay and that's why I'm suspicious 🤣

Levithecat · 02/08/2022 17:15

This is very exciting @Slothmomma ! I hope he turns out to just be a sexy and lovely human.

welcome @stillvicarinatutu - that match sounds promising!

NervesOfCotton · 02/08/2022 17:50

HowlongWillThisTakeNowGrin Aww I'm sure you look lovely!

When I first looked at your comment I thought I was being told off for not talking to people because of their looksGrin

HowlongWillThisTakeNow · 02/08/2022 18:51

@NervesOfCotton
apologies, I tend to use self-depreciation both a self-defence mechanism and to mask constant feelings of inadequacy and , of course , I’m British & middle aged so it’s the polite thing to do.

NervesOfCotton · 02/08/2022 19:19

HowlongWillThisTakeNow Oh, don't worry! I got it when I read it properlyGrin

I do that too... Get in their with the self-insults before somebody else does it kind of thing!