New relationship he wants us to do STI tests

[Kitten2]

New partner wants us both to test for STI.

He says he wants me to have one before we do oral again.

We use condoms for PIV.

I guess he is right. But this is the first time I've been asked to do one. Felt a bit weird being asked to, but yes, he's right.

How do I do one? Is it free?
Can anyone help me I haven't been tested since Uni many years ago.

And so what if he has??

We did it.
We just went to the sexual health clinic.
No biggie.

And so what if he has?

I also think it's sensible but would have expected that sort of request before we had any sexual contact, as pp said, he could have a motive why he's asking now!

Green flag to me but you should insist he also has one. You can do them together, plus he probably knows where to go in your area.

This is a good thing. Don't go to your GP, go to your local GUM clinic. You can even be anonymous there. Or you can order online there are places which provide them for free if you say you are under 25 they never check.

In advance all fine, but the "again" element would bother me. Make sure you see his results too.

I don't think I can ask him,

For me, this doesn’t bode well for the relationship of you can’t do that at this stage. This is the exploration time of each other’s minds, thoughts, processes, aspirations, etc. and being honest.

I need to know that any subject is on the table and can be discussed rationally and calmly, allowing for initial reactions. And that goes both ways - I’d want my partner to feel able to ask anything.

One of my assertive acquaintances does this every time a relationship looks like it has legs. Some men comply and some run. She wants to protect herself and avoid wasting time.

@Kitten2 not enough information you were tested at university many years ago. Did you marry and been faithful for years. Is he your first in decades or have you been putting it about?

He sounds sensible. STI testing is very important.

I did ones with my last 2 boyfriends and DH.

I'd be wondering why he was requesting it AFTER you've had sexual contact (before we do oral again). Why did he not think to ask before you'd had oral sex before?

In my case it was always after we’d had sex too because I’m a horny little toad I wanted anything that might have turned up to be treated.

Just go to the local GUM (google it)

Totally free.

I made now DH do it before we got serious (we had had sex but I wanted to make sure moving forward nothing was lurking!) I think it's a great idea.

@PrincessPark Op clearly stated he said both of them to be tested

Horse. Bolted. You've already had oral and penetrative.

Timing is odd though. This should have been done before you slept together.

Also remember that condoms don't protect from all STIs. You can still get things like HPV for example just through skin contact. Also there is no approved HPV tests for men. That's why this particular one affects so many people.

In my area, this is only free if you're under 24. GUM clinic is free though, but you can't make an appointment. I just paid for a postal testing kit, so I didn't have to take a whole day's leave.

It's goodbthat he's asked. Bytbatvthe same time I feel something is off and he knows he's got something and will try to blame you for giving it to him . I could be wrong but my gut tells me he's hot at the very least chlamydia.

But at the same time*

You can order a kit online

Thankyou for the link - so simple to do!

How old are you?! He sounds a very sensible guy, I’ve always insisted on STI/D checks at the beginning of new relationships. Not odd at all! Go to your sexual health clinic or doctor. Free in the U.K.

I can only assume this is your very first sexual relationship before you’ve never had one before?! They are free!