New relationship he wants us to do STI tests

[Kitten2]

New partner wants us both to test for STI.

He says he wants me to have one before we do oral again.

We use condoms for PIV.

I guess he is right. But this is the first time I've been asked to do one. Felt a bit weird being asked to, but yes, he's right.

How do I do one? Is it free?
Can anyone help me I haven't been tested since Uni many years ago.

I went to the GUM clinic when I first got with dh. It was free and straightforward. It was his idea. I was totally fine with it and thought it was a great idea & very sensible and he then revealed to me his relief that I thought that and that he'd been a bit nervous to bring it up!

I'd be wondering why he was requesting it AFTER you've had sexual contact (before we do oral again). Why did he not think to ask before you'd had oral sex before?

Yeah.
It makes me feel like he was going down on me, wondering if he was about to catch something off my vagina.

I don't think I can ask him, I guess maybe he didn't feel he could ask before. Don't know.

My boyfriend had STI tests, even though he was fairly sure he was clean after a 25 year faithful marriage. He told me he was doing them but didn't ask me to - I offered but he said it was up to me. I was also married for a long time so haven't done them (only had 2 sexual partners before my boyfriend anyway). It's responsible, if I had any doubt about myself I would have tested.

You absolutely can ask him. If you're intimate there's no questions off limits.

You're supposed to do it before sexual contact. But it's sensible anyroad. I've always just went to the GUM clinic. He needs to go as well

Responsible and sensible. Don't people always do this before new relationships? (Married 20 years here so I have no idea).

I feel there’s something odd about his request. He was happy to do oral but now wants a report. I can’t quite fathom what he might be up to but how do people have spontaneous sex if certificates are now required before entry?! I always used condoms back in the day when I was single.

Condoms don't protect you against all STIs

Glad to see he's so responsible.

I think it's more likely he/you just got carried away/were in the moment and he didn't think about it until afterwards and now is being sensible! Nothing sinister! Just delayed sensibleness!

I know but how do people have one night stands if it’s commonplace to ask for reports?
I honestly never heard of this. I’m not single but no one I know does this. I’m confused how he had oral once and then wanted a certificate to do it again. I don’t think I’d bother. Possibly got germ issues?

‘Again’?

Does he think he has given you something?
Does he think you have something?

If he’s getting tested, ask him where he’s getting it done!

I had no idea you can get theses for free!! £60 round my way.

I assume people who have one night stands just take the risk of an STI. But then one night stands come with all sorts of risks.

Sexual health clinic - GUM clinic - will do it for you.

Google your area and sexual health check ups. Often there are free postal tests

Check this site

sh24.org.uk/

And this www.sexwise.org.uk/where-to-get-help/free-online-services

used to work with young people!

Just Google sexual health clinic or GUM clinic and your town. Add NHS if it keeps coming up with charged for services.

Back when I was young safe sex meant putting some padding around the head board.

better late than never

Well...you haven't been tested since you were at uni "years ago" by your own admission so who is to blame him for being cautious?

.... and presumably he will also be getting tested, right?

Because, if not then why not? Why should it solely be you?

Surprised that this isn't a standard thing to do at the start of a new relationship.