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Original poster

New relationship he wants us to do STI tests

116 replies

Kitten2 · 06/07/2022 22:20

New partner wants us both to test for STI.

He says he wants me to have one before we do oral again.

We use condoms for PIV.

I guess he is right. But this is the first time I've been asked to do one. Felt a bit weird being asked to, but yes, he's right.

How do I do one? Is it free?
Can anyone help me I haven't been tested since Uni many years ago.

OP posts:
Notconfident · 07/07/2022 00:50

Yep. Nearest sexual health clinic. More people need to do them before entering into new sexual relationships!

Bunty55 · 07/07/2022 01:03

If this happened to me I would be worried that he had given me something and was perhaps trying to shift the blame onto me. It just seems odd.
I would ask why. I would have asked why as soon as he mentioned it

D0lphine · 07/07/2022 01:05

He is very responsible to suggest it.

Major green flag for me.

Monty27 · 07/07/2022 01:19

As long as you both have one together it's totally respectful. Why would you question it. But go together and both test.

Pleaseletmeconfirm · 07/07/2022 01:39

I think it's a great idea to go together.

If you are planning on sleeping together then it's good that you can talk about sexual health.

He messed up not asking for it before getting physical with you but at least he is sorting it now.

MusicForASushiRestaurant · 07/07/2022 06:54

A new relationship then yes you BOTH should - very sensible.

Siameasy · 07/07/2022 07:17

SausageAndCash · 06/07/2022 23:18

‘Again’?

Does he think he has given you something?
Does he think you have something?

If he’s getting tested, ask him where he’s getting it done!

Yeah I wonder if he has something and thinks he might’ve passed it on. And if yours came back positive for something he could then also “catch it” from you and blame you.

Or maybe he has something and doesn’t know how to tell you so a test could be all “oh I have X infection I never knew!”

Anyway, whilst I get that some STIs cause infertility and obviously no one wants AIDS or syphilis, the people I know who caught genital herpes all caught it from an oral cold sore.

muchofamuchnessme · 07/07/2022 07:37

I've just done one for a person I'm seeing. Order online done.

Safer than sorry, nothing wrong with being safe.

user1471517095 · 07/07/2022 07:53

Sometimes people just can't win. Cos he wants a test he's given you an STI.

gamerchick · 07/07/2022 08:17

I don't get the big deal. It's not a red flag. The OP hasn't been tested in what sounds like a long time, I'd be wary myself. It's not insulting, there are STIs that are very hard to treat out there. Once you know you're both clean it's free to have fun.

HowlongWillThisTakeNow · 07/07/2022 08:32

Yep, good idea, you can order online and it’s all via the post, we both did one for my last relationship before we stopped using condoms for PIV.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 07/07/2022 08:34

You can order a free test kit online from your local STI clinic.

it's really weird that you're feeling weird about this. Every sexually active adult should take responsibility and have STI tests regularly.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 07/07/2022 08:35

Bunty55 · 07/07/2022 01:03

If this happened to me I would be worried that he had given me something and was perhaps trying to shift the blame onto me. It just seems odd.
I would ask why. I would have asked why as soon as he mentioned it

People can get carried away in the moment then on reflection want to make changes so as not to compound their mistake...he probably reflected and thought they should be sensible going forwards.

elipants · 07/07/2022 08:38

Well this sounds like a really great idea! I don't think men can be tested for HPV though. However as other say look for your local sexual health clinic and book a screening. Sounds like a good guy who is taking it seriously if he was wanting tests!

Naunet · 07/07/2022 09:27

Where is he getting his done?

Cadot · 07/07/2022 11:02

It's sensible and a good sign to me. He obviously gets tested with each new partner
and likes to be cautious. If you've had any other partners since your last test at uni then it would be a very good idea for you to get checked.

mumda · 07/07/2022 11:28

"before we do oral again."
Odd to test before you do it again.

LivingLifeOnTheVeg · 07/07/2022 11:45

It’s sensible before each new relationship. Just remember that standard tests don’t test for herpes.

Cas112 · 07/07/2022 11:51

You should be able to order free home testing kit

catpoppet · 07/07/2022 11:53

i'd be wondering if he's been playing the field!

GalactatingGoddess · 07/07/2022 11:56

Very sensible before sexual contact but why now afterwards?
I'd be inclined to do one anyway to be sure in case he's been up to something.

Hopefully it's all just innocent though, and if it is, that's a green flag

Bookworm20 · 07/07/2022 12:07

mumda · 07/07/2022 11:28

"before we do oral again."
Odd to test before you do it again.

Perhaps the first encounter was somewhat impromptu and they got carried away in the moment?
And now hes got his sensible head on and thinking they should be tested before going any further.

I think its sensible of him to ask this.

SirenSays · 07/07/2022 12:09

There are loads of options for testing but they vary from place to place. It's good that you're getting tested. I always ask partners to test, it's not a fun conversation but better than an STI

girlmom21 · 07/07/2022 12:09

I would want to know why he wants to test now if he didn't before. Has he still been sleeping with numerous people?

QueSyrahSyrah · 07/07/2022 12:11

Are you due a smear? My local clinic will do STI tests at the same time if asked.

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