OP as the poster just now said, you need to read through the list you posted before, especially the bits about your son and daughter, which I've highlighted, and stop thinking of him as anything other than a predatory, racist, boundary pushing pervert.
Some of the list made me gasp when you originally posted it. Some was just gross, some was genuinely chilling like the bits about your kids.
Read it again - do you still think that wanting no contact with him and telling him why was "too harsh"?!
Here it is:
Telling me stories about his promiscuous days before he was married. How he treated women badly and regrets it now. How he didn't know much about sex at all to start with but soon learnt. How his wife was a prude. How he'd massage her vagina to ease her sciatica and how they'd have sex at dawn then go back to sleep.
He'd point out all the articles in the paper that contained anything g about sex and insist I read them right there and then.
He'd ask me questions about my early boyfriends.
He'd say he'd never forced himself on a woman but had persuaded plenty. As someone who has been coerced into sex in a couple of relationships this was one comment that would make me leave the room.
How it's a shame I wasn't x number of years older and he x number of years younger so that we'd be about the same age. Dream on.
How he's more of a bum man and more than a mouthful of breast is a waste.
Where his eldest was conceived several months before he and his wife married.
How it was x number of years to the day since he last had sex.
Saying he preferred my hair down. I'll keep wearing it in my usual messy bun then.
Told me to meet his daughter looking as plain as possible otherwise she might get the wrong idea. His daughter is lovely.
Forbade me from ever getting a taxi because he doesn't like them. No one forbids me from doing anything.
Wanted to know the ins and outs of my child maintenance payments.
Coerced me into agreeing to a short break with the children but said not to tell his daughter. I backed out.
Wanted to know if ds would be happy to share a room with him on holidays. No.
Said if me saw my Dd with her natural hair colour he'd fall in love with her. Then tried saying he didn't mean it like that.
Suggested when he went on holiday for 3 weeks that me and the dc move in so it would be easier for me not having to go home after work. It's less than 5 minutes walk and no I don't want to sleep in your bed.
Referred to shops run by Asian people as P shops.
Used unacceptable words when referring to the Chinese takeaway. I can't remember exactly what but but the word that rhymes with dinky along with another word so like a dinky dog or something. I'd just ignore these but wish I'd called him out.
Said of the Rochdale child sexual abuse/grooming victims that maybe there was something in the perception they were worldly. I did pull him up on that one and walked away.
Told me a list of things he wanted to do/places to go with me and the dc in the summer. He would pay of course. No thanks.
Accused me of using my mum as an excuse for not wanting to go on days out/holidays.
Expected me and the dc to go on Christmas Eve to decorate for Christmas.
Drank heavily.
Drove after many pints, drank more when he got home then drove the next morning.
Drive through red lights.
Bumped into other vehicles but didn't notice.
Drove too close and too fast. Think he thought he was still 18 and trying to impress his mates or girlfriend.
Destroyed a birds' nest that was in current use because they'd shit on his car.
Talked to me about his viagra but that he didn't actually need it.
Talked about smegma and circumcision.
Said how I'd saved his life by helping him with the house.
Defended his violent alcoholic son and said his girlfriend had lied about the abuse.
Walked round with just a towel wrapped round his waist and stood on the landing to talk to me so I could see up the towel.
Walked round half dressed.