Boss annoyed/upset I don't want to spend my days off with him

[gherkinsaplenty]

NC as I don't want this linking to my other posts.
I started working for an elderly widower a few months ago. It's been great because it fits around the kids and is within walking distance.
From the start he's asked about days out with me and the kids. I've never agreed to anything and have gently said no thank you. He wants to pay for everything and there's just so much that makes me feel uncomfortable.
He tells me far too much information about his marriage to his late wife including about their sex life.
He tells me inappropriate jokes that ex work mates have told him along with lots of inappropriate stories about them and their infidelities.
He drinks heavily and drives the next morning as well as back from the pub.
He makes me feel like I need to justify doing things that's just me and the kids.
He's always offering me lifts and I won't accept because he's bloody dangerous when I have been in the car with him. He's hit 3 vehicles lately and not even noticed, pulls out without indicating, pulls out in front of moving traffic. I'm stressed thinking he's going to need me to go somewhere with him.
I'm working at his home essentially doing a house clearance before he moves into a retirement apartment next year. I really enjoy the work but I'm getting/got the serious ick about him and feel uncomfortable.
Despite saying I could work around the kids and not during the holidays he expects me to take them with me to his and wants me to work every day of the summer holidays. I've told him no and he's almost sulking. The dc have got an inset day tomorrow and we are off out for the day. He's upset because he thought he could take us out somewhere and was looking forward to it even though I never said yes to his invitation. He keeps grumbling about it and making out I've let him down. He has his own grown up dc and a few grandchildren and I know he's lonely but I don't want to be spending my days off with my boss. I'm a carer for a family member too and between my dc and caring I don't have much time to do anything. He phones me every day at least twice including on my days off and there are numerous texts too. I've now switched off my voicemail service and adjusted my phone to only allow certain people to contact me outside of work hours. I only do 12 hours a week or so but with the frequent phone calls and voicemails and texts it's more like 18 hours. I'm a single parent and the money has been great but I feel like jacking it in now. I feel so uncomfortable with it all. Despite being totally inappropriate he is very kind and generous and funny and I have enjoyed the job but this latest sulk over a day out and me saying no to going away with him in the summer has tipped me over into dreading work now. He's said to stop messaging him and let the dust settle. I'm here thinking there's no dust to settle, I just told him thank you but no. I'm autistic and get things wrong so often with navigating situations. I hate confrontation too and I'm annoyed he's doing this.
How do I keep things professional?

[gherkinsaplenty]

The officer in charge has been in touch and had originally written to creepy man and told him to desist. He will now go and see him and reinforce the message to stay away and not contact me or my family again. I think anything further will result in his arrest. He's away at the moment so the officer has posted a letter through his door for now but will be seeing him face to face on his return. I'm glad the police are taking it seriously.

[lilroo87]

I suppose a last resort could be a restraining order if he still carries on after the police have spoken with him. Although I imagine he will be breaking that order a lot.
Glad the police are taking it seriously though

[gherkinsaplenty]

It's really brought home to me his complete lack of respect for my boundaries right from the start. The constant phone calls on weekends or days off. I stopped answering and let them go to voicemail but in the end I switched off my voicemail and never returned his calls. Asking personal questions and making out I was hurting his feelings for not involving him in days out with my children. If I said we'd been anywhere he'd say why didn't you get me to take you all I like it there. Why are you getting the train or the bus when I can take you. And he still wants me to go and sort out his house! He's unbelievable.

[wellhelloitsme]

I'm so pleased they're taking it seriously. When it happened to me they sent him a letter, then when he ignored the warning to leave me alone, they warned him in person once maybe twice, then interviewed him formally and put in place some conditions (no contact) and when he broke them, he was charged with harassment and had formal bail conditions put in place (no contact and not allowed within certain distance of my home).

That's what happened for me, obviously it might be different with your local force - unfortunately he was my next door neighbour (ugh) but the conditions meant he had to stay elsewhere. He then broke the conditions yet again and I now have a restraining order in place.

I reported absolutely everything which really helped the process so it's great you're doing that too.

[Justanotherlittlename]

Hope you get some peace @gherkinsaplenty