Dating thread 230: Summer shenanigans!

[ButterflyOfShay]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Slothmomma

do the ‘fuck me your sexy’s of this world every get laid I wonder
and if so , how ?

meant to say yay for your fun morning with local crush man
hell probably pop up again
ha !

Levithecat
well that’s the million dollar question
!
Be excited , I mean you can’t not be !
and we all need joy and excitement don’t we

but you will not know if there is chemistry till you meet

@ibelieveinmirrorballs I am so invested in what his creation is!! Can’t wait to know! Is it your birthday this weekend coming? x

I’m with @Thisisworsethananticpated you know what sometimes I just like to immerse myself in those happy feelings, just enjoy it! If you meet him and dont like each other that’s life/OLD but defo just enjoy the buzz!! 💛

Sorry that was to @Levithecat ..

I found that. Same faces on all of them! Personally I found bumble the best. Couldn’t be arsed with the exam that was okc!

Thanks all - I’ll let myself go with it. The conversation flowed when we met but it was just coffee on a Monday morning, so not much chance to flirt. Out Friday night so hoping they’ll be chemistry then, just need to not get my hopes up too much.
Those odd times you get a great match are golden, amongst all the ‘hey sexy’ messages,
inappropriate gifs, or just being disappointed when you meet and there’s no chemistry.

I’ve used match, bumble and hinge. Bumble probably the best but it’s expensive to use the better features. Mostly same blokes on bumble and match; hinge slightly different.

@ibelieveinmirrorballs What a thoughtful person! What kind of stuff does he usually make?

I will be very happy if it’s a spoon or wooden egg cup. Less happy if it’s something twee to put on the wall 🤪

@Levithecat I’d be a bit wary but only because my own recent experience is that these anxious feelings around communicating with someone are a warning sign rather than indicative of a great connection. Read something recently “As you heal, your attractions change too. Toxicity stops looking like excitement and peace stops looking like boredom”. With my ex I was convinced by the end of it that I was riddled with anxious attachment but actually it was the set up with him (emotionally unavailable but fantastically exciting to be with) that triggered it all. I well know the stress of sending a flirty message but then feeling like your entire mood depends on getting the right reply and fast. The flirty message is you seeking reassurance from him. The only advice I can give is to make a concerted effort to fill your life up with other passions as much as you can - try to keep him firmly off any pedestal as he hasn’t yet earned the right to be able to affect your sense of self.

ibelieveinmirrorballs

maybe a nice wooden owl 🦉? 😂
or a carved image of your head ?

@ibelieveinmirrorballs thank you so much for that. This rings true for me - I’ve deliberately not done much dating because I didn’t know how I’d be after a very difficult relationship separation with my husband. I have a very full life but do want to date, I just don’t quite trust myself to cope well with it and be balanced (yet).

(🤞for an egg cup!)

What, like some sort of shrine 😬

😂😂 omg at the images of some huge scary monstrosity turning up that you then have to politely display in the house for a while 😂😂
i’m really sure it wont be that @ibelieveinmirrorballs …. 😜

I’m thinking maybe a key holder? Or maybe a little carving of a pet?

I believe in mirror balls, oh I am same. Difficult separation from ex h, work full-time, 2 tweens, it's full yet missing exciting dates. Bumble is the same old, Met 2 decent guys had 2 short flings. Haven't really got the headspace, just need a fwb type situation I think!

@Levithecat Just posting to agree with @ibelieveinmirrorballs , its fine to be excited about a date but the worry while waiting for a reply is not great.

Its good you've got a busy life because a partner should enhance your life and not be your life.

That’s exactly the point I’m making @SortingItOut - I’m not anxious at all at the moment and was referring to what I learned from my previous iron.

Sorry @SortingItOut I thought you were addressing that to me middle aged eyesight issues 😵‍💫😬

Hmmm… a totem pole? 😝

@Levithecat I was the same after my toxic marriage and very protracted divorce. It’s a big learning experience and two years into OLD I’ve had some great fun and in general am getting much better at who I’m attracting and seeing where I’m going wrong. It’s also a pleasant surprise to realise I’m still attractive… hashtag still got it etcetc 😬

It’s also a pleasant surprise to realise I’m still attractive… hashtag still got it etcetc

you should try being an old man, #backIsKillingMe #invisibleToWomen.

@ibelieveinmirrorballs maybe he has made you a massive phallic statue, like the ones you find in Peru, to display in your living room window , it would certainly make your neighbours pay attention

Hi Guys! Hope someone picks this up, but please can someone remove me for now from the WA group? I've had to lend my daughter my phone as she's lost hers and is away :-) I might have to get a new number but will hopefully re-join once it's sorted.

@Daydreamscometrue -I have made a note of your number too, apols for no reply x

In other news absolutely no irons for me, zilch!

We’re the same age!

I was also starting to feel invisible - but then started HRT and shed post-divorce weight and got fit… it’s made the world of difference to how I feel about myself.

I think I've removed you from the WA group 🤞 I've saved you as a contact so I can re-add you whenever though!

Thank you 😊 I can't double check as don't have the phone but should get back soon enough.