Dating thread 230: Summer shenanigans!

[ButterflyOfShay]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

London is okay, but not the awful mockney cockney, ‘Landan Taan” way of speaking, that’s just dreadful, sorry.

@ibelieveinmirrorballs are you sure you are not dating me ? as it sounds like a pretty normal average ordinary way of behaving, from an ordinary man 👨

@ibelieveinmirrorballs … great stuff about Mr Nice
i didn’t expect to … but… I have a date this Saturday. MrSurrey. He’s been very clear , gave me his linked in without problem and we had a very good chat about what we want and who we are. He offered to pick me up from home but I don’t want until I know the guy better and providing I like him
We don’t know how it will go until we meet . I like it he’s not texting crazy and called me at the time we agreed. He’s looking for LTR… and so am I
He’s the only iron in my hit list so … let’s see how this goes 😉

Thats great @Mila14 - respectful and consistent is good.

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow I couldn’t be dating you as Mr Nice is ONLY 48 and not an “oldie” like you and me at 51😝But in seriousness that is my point - I don’t think I am used to good old normal.

The gift arrived and I have opened it. It’s actually bigger then I thought but it’s lovely - it’s a floor light. It’s not something I would buy but I am actually very touched that he’s gone to this trouble. Roll on our next date.

@ibelieveinmirrorballs … awwww… he’s great Mr Nice
You and @Eesha are very lucky your guys bake for you and craft for you!!!
…jealous moi??

@ibelieveinmirrorballs MrNice proving true to his nickname! Nice!

@Mila14 also nice - sounds promising so far!

@hotnakedgelato … you are having quite a lot of well deserved fun 😈… so nice to hear all your good news

Ah that’s nice @ibelieveinmirrorballs , He’s definitely living up to his name 🙂
I feel very flat today, mainly because my main source of excitement has now vanished.. it all just feels tedious today 😣

@ButterflyOfShay … it’s not a very nice day but many options will be open to you… I figured we need to be patient and audition possible love interests 😜

It’s always the way isn’t it - we all feel flat and like “ugh, we’re right back at the bottom of the mountain” after a prospect evaporates. But one thing’s for sure, we all seem to pick ourselves back up and keep going. The things that don’t work out weren’t meant for us. It’s not always easy for us to feel plucky and spirited though, “this shit is hard”, as the saying goes. Big hugs Shay.

@hotnakedgelato hang on in there

It's highly likely that you're feeling triggered by the vulnerability that comes with being in a new relationship and also the fact that the ex is being his usual shorty self will be sapping your energy and sending the anxiety rising

Do you have a regular therapist you can check in with? I'd highly recommend in these early stages of a new relationship. However nice, they can be very triggering as we are letting go and trusting again 💜

Thank you 💗 just wish something good would fall into place!!

hotnakedgelato

hmm . I think is a normal wobble . I don’t like the sound of your exes email . Fuck that . Him upsetting you , what’s his twat head wobbling about ? Wanker

does he know you are seeing someone ?

ibelieveinmirrorballs

ah you like his present

ButterflyOfShay

im Not suprised you feel a bit flat today . An ending is always an ending . At the end of the day it was a crush and it motivated you and gave you hope . And life is tough !
and I think you move on better, if you do allow
yourself to be sad
and it teaches us what we like , what did make us happy

in your case a smiley dark haired man 🙂

Mila14
fast work ! And he sounds nice
onwards 👍

@Thisisworsethananticpated … in the end I am seeing him tomorrow as he has golf tournament on Saturday and it was going to be tight. He can’t wait… 😊

@hotnakedgelato does MrS have children..? I recall that he doesn’t, in which case it’s completely understandable he wouldn’t be 100% clued in to when to help vs when to leave them to it. Definitely sounds like a bit of resistance perhaps to the inevitable slide you sense to something serious developing between you. Juxtaposed with horribleness from ex. Do you go to MrS for support around these kinds of situations yet? It sounds very stressful to be handling that alongside early stage relationship stuff too. Really lovely btw to hear that physically things have become so good - an inspiration!

Nifty work lady 😬 What are the two of you planning on doing? The weather is so glorious at the moment!

I had a 2nd date, I'll call him Mr cap , It was so nice, we had a short walk, a bite to eat and just laid on the grass chatting for ages. There are a couple if differences but nothing major I'm trying to hold back as we both feel it's going really well, my only concern is some of his comments are looking too far ahead , he has said he does tend to rush into things, he so lovely and seems happy with me and I really fancy him, 3rd date on Sunday

@Lollysticks12 sounds great - roll on 3rd date!

@Mila14 good luck with your date this evening 🤞😁

Still no irons for me - I literally don't seem to fancy anyone on the apps 🤦‍♀️😆 oh and despite having been told a few times (read pressured) by Mr local when we were together that if it didn't work with us there was no way he was bothering again as it was all just too heartbreaking etc low and behold who popped up tonight when I was swiping 😆 felt no pang though so definitely right in my decision to end it.

@ibelieveinmirrorballs I actually bought a floor light for an ex of 5 months at the time. I'd be touched someone went to any trouble to think a bit about something to get me.

Still seeing Mr Blue and all going well. We've had about 5 great dates in 5 weeks. He has bought his new place so not concerned about the living arrangements (still in family home). We are going away next month and I anticipate DTD then if things are still going well.

Only concern is his wife left him for a married man and she was fine with him/idea of Mr Blue dating at that time but that man has now decided to go back to his wife. Cue Mrs Blue being distraught and now being difficult and saying she's made a huge mistake etc. She misses how he was ie he was nice/stable and the family dynamic and had suggested an open marriage before when she had the affair. It's messier than I would like. I'm not worried about them getting back together, I just think it was much better when she was happier. I'm not too invested yet as a result. The affair had been going on a year but Mr Blue only decided to start online dating in Feb as they were trying to make things work so even that feels very soon to be looking so a bit cautious that this is all very raw.

@ButterflyOfShay That's crap about Mr Turk but glad you found out earlier rather that later. Also, you've actually chatted to him so you've made a connection which is always good.

Wow @Eesha - really pleased things are going so well with Mr Blue but omg to read about the wife and her married man… poor Mr Blue not only going through that emotional turmoil but cracking on and sorting himself out only for her to have a “grass isn’t greener” moment. I would feel the same as you - he sounds very decent and emotionally available but it is just all a lot cleaner when both parties feel the same. What a life lesson for the wife!

@Eesha that's quite the rollercoaster for MrBlue. Good thing you've kept your head and you can see how tricky it all is. Stay strong and hopefully things will work out. I am assuming that it's likely that even if they got back together, there's still a high probability things wouldn't work out between them but you definitely don't want to get caught in the crossfire