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Original poster

The ick = game over?

361 replies

Ella28_ · 17/06/2022 17:49

I'm dating this guy and sometimes he says completely innocent words or phrases that make my skin crawl and completely turn me off him and I'm genuinely thinking about ending it. So petty of me but I literally can't get past it. Defo gonna die alone at this rate 😂

Anyone else get the ick over the most minor things?

OP posts:
Feart · 19/06/2022 21:52

I can relate to some of these with my ex, his other ones were;


  1. Mispronouncing Westminster as ‘West Minister’ 🤢

  2. He thought he was well above average intelligence but would use ‘should of, could of’, the wrong there etc

  3. Open mouth proper crying which was completely over the top to the situation.

  4. He was always ill, he was at his happiest during a stay in hospital for unknown pain where no cause was found. 🙄 He also constantly had the shits, he would proudly announce this to visitors.

  5. He once went 12 days without showering and still went to work etc 🤢🤢🤢

  6. He had an actual stamp collection at the age of 40.

1ittlegreen · 19/06/2022 22:09

summersunherewecome · 17/06/2022 21:03

I dated a guy last year and the ick got me when he snogged me with his eyes open....put me off and never saw him again 😐

How do you know he had his eyes open 🤣

Milly2016 · 19/06/2022 22:10

I think the ick can be brought about by seeing them as they really are sometimes and having reality fllod in and burst the romantic bubble the two of you are in.

I'll try to explain: in my early 20s I was dating a guy several years older who still lived with his mother and didn't have a job. He was a sweet, sexy guy and I liked him a lot and being young his lack of work was something I was able to ignore. I wasn't after marriage at that age.

Then one day I realised that I'd probably have to have him meet my parents.
The thought of him telling my parents that he was just doing 'this or that' (as he always replied to any queries as regards what he did for a living) was mortifying to me and I realised that I'd be embarrassed by him.
It's as if the little bubble we were in would burst. I had to break it off. I was ashamed by him. A grown man with no disability choosing not to work (at the time work was plentiful in the UK-he could have had a job within a few weeks or earlier-OK maybe it would be menial but still a job!)

He's now in his mid 50's. If I see him while out and about we'll stop for a chat and still doing this and that...
Only now his blond curly hair is grey and in a ponytail and his belly is like a beachball covered in meat owing to his lack of activity/junk eating lifestyle.

Scoobydoobydo · 19/06/2022 22:21

How’s this for a ick then? Been going out with this really nice guy for a couple of weeks and have a blast. Always nicely groomed and fresh.
on the sofa getting down to business, I unzipped his fly which was a bit tricky as he was fully loaded and then it hit me! The smell 🤢the unwashed, hot, dribbling beast that he thought I might enjoy.
I would sooner spend the night in a French cheese factory in a heatwave.
many many years ago and I can still almost taste that smell 🤮🤮🤮

Bangolads · 19/06/2022 22:22

About 15 years ago I got the ick constantly with one guy I was dating. Worked on my own issues with commitment and discovered I sabotaged any relationship where the man was available to me and loved me for who I am. Dear reader I married him and am very glad I did. Every story different but worth a thought eh.

Bangolads · 19/06/2022 22:26

@Feart I think I’d get the ick about you if I dated you🤷🏼‍♀️So what if he had a stamp collection at 40. and the other stuff is just normal human idiosyncrasies. You don’t sound very nice.

Feart · 19/06/2022 22:30

@Bangolads
I think you are missing the point of the thread! You don’t sound as if you have a sense of humour, are you his new wife? You wouldn’t get the ick if someone didn’t shower for 12 days? 🙄

BanjoVio · 19/06/2022 22:32

Scoobydoobydo · 19/06/2022 22:21

How’s this for a ick then? Been going out with this really nice guy for a couple of weeks and have a blast. Always nicely groomed and fresh.
on the sofa getting down to business, I unzipped his fly which was a bit tricky as he was fully loaded and then it hit me! The smell 🤢the unwashed, hot, dribbling beast that he thought I might enjoy.
I would sooner spend the night in a French cheese factory in a heatwave.
many many years ago and I can still almost taste that smell 🤮🤮🤮

Oh my goodness, I need to know what happened next!!! 😱

azimuth299 · 19/06/2022 23:50

He got stung by a bee 😳

The ick is not fair.

spacer · 19/06/2022 23:53

KangarooKenny · 17/06/2022 21:34

Are you peri menopause age by any chance ? That’s when my ick and resentment kicked in.

Show quote history

I got it then and couldn’t get past it sadly.

RedRec · 20/06/2022 00:24

I have mentioned this on a previous ick thread.
Got the serious ick when a bloke I was seeing deliberately talked about 'chips and fish', as if he was being really funny / edgy.
Couldn't get out of there fast enough.

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 20/06/2022 00:45

kardashianklone · 17/06/2022 22:51

This is such a great thread. It reminded me of my own ick experiences I want to add. These are all the same ex bf. Whenever he ate anything, his eyebrows would be raised to the very top of his head, as though he was permanently surprised by what was in his mouth. He also used to take unnecessarily large bites, tilting his head back and as though he could dislocate his jaw like a snake. He had a terrible half moon shaped coin pouch which he would unzip and count pennies from, like some elderly miser. He had an infuriating habit of saying 'it could be worse' about any given situation. We broke up, and he's a lovely man and we still speak and stayed friends, but I will never eat another meal opposite him again.

Show quote history

Wearing a cap with a radio in + saying "mmmmm pizza" when serving it up and again when eating it = last date.

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 20/06/2022 01:03

EarthSight · 18/06/2022 13:11

@Hannah8514 You got the ick because he didn't have Apple Pay??? Isn't that the majority of the population? Does everyone have Apple Pay?

Yes this is just stupid.

mackthepony · 20/06/2022 01:33

I remember one trip to Albufera with an ex (obv) and we visited that lighthouse, most westerly in Europe or whatever?

Anyway, he insisted, and I mean insisted, on wearing nothing but his bright purple Speedos the entire time we were on the trip. With no t-shirt. Walking around the bloody lighthouse site with purple Speedos and nothing else. Except flip flops.

And he had a massive cock too, which you could clearly see pinging through the Speedos.

I couldn't get away quick enough (once we landed home)

Afrodizzyak · 20/06/2022 01:41

A man I had a date with turned up wearing his ex wife's very large feminine sunglasses.
Further into the date, he proudly told me how white and clean his ex wife's knickers were.

notgreatthanks · 20/06/2022 04:38

Scoobydoobydo · 19/06/2022 22:21

How’s this for a ick then? Been going out with this really nice guy for a couple of weeks and have a blast. Always nicely groomed and fresh.
on the sofa getting down to business, I unzipped his fly which was a bit tricky as he was fully loaded and then it hit me! The smell 🤢the unwashed, hot, dribbling beast that he thought I might enjoy.
I would sooner spend the night in a French cheese factory in a heatwave.
many many years ago and I can still almost taste that smell 🤮🤮🤮

Tell me you didn't actually taste it????

Scoobydoobydo · 20/06/2022 07:15

@notgreatthanks
Hell no did I taste it! But yunno when a smell is soooooo bad you can taste the smell? That was this!

notgreatthanks · 20/06/2022 07:20

@Scoobydoobydo thank goodness for that!! That would be taking politeness a step too far Grin

CeCeDrake · 20/06/2022 07:50

Yorkshirelass04 · 17/06/2022 23:51

When I looked at the curtains in his home office and saw he'd been sticking bogies on them to avoid having to get up from the desk for a tissue.

😂😂

Milly2016 · 20/06/2022 07:58

What's the difference between getting on your wick and ick then?
My ex used to wind me up so much that I couldn't bear to be in the same room as him. Constantly clicking on his computer mouse, firing away questions at me as soon as I got out of bed etc. The whole purpose of getting up two hours before work for me was to have peace and quiet. Told the fecker over and over. He didn't listen.
Everything he did wound me up and yes the thought of him touching me made my skin crawl but I'm not sure if I'd call it ick.

Milly2016 · 20/06/2022 08:09

Sorry that should read leaving the house for work.

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 20/06/2022 08:21

Milly2016 · 20/06/2022 07:58

What's the difference between getting on your wick and ick then?
My ex used to wind me up so much that I couldn't bear to be in the same room as him. Constantly clicking on his computer mouse, firing away questions at me as soon as I got out of bed etc. The whole purpose of getting up two hours before work for me was to have peace and quiet. Told the fecker over and over. He didn't listen.
Everything he did wound me up and yes the thought of him touching me made my skin crawl but I'm not sure if I'd call it ick.

No I think that is just annoying you. It's usually something that puts you off irreversibly that's related to a personal mannerism, often where they do something embarrassing that makes you think of them as a grandad or an embarrassment. I was once in touch with a guy I knew as a teenager and had always fancied, we got back in touch years later when I saw him accidentally in town; he was divorced and I was having a difficult time with my long term partner. I called at his house (invited) to take a birthday card for his daughter and he answered the door in a grandad dressing gown, grandad slippers and nylon socks. That sort of thing. A friend had a guy she fancied crash out in her lounge after a late night (nothing happened here) and she got up next morning to find his (ancient, holey) underpants drying on the radiator.

Milly2016 · 20/06/2022 08:54

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 20/06/2022 08:21

No I think that is just annoying you. It's usually something that puts you off irreversibly that's related to a personal mannerism, often where they do something embarrassing that makes you think of them as a grandad or an embarrassment. I was once in touch with a guy I knew as a teenager and had always fancied, we got back in touch years later when I saw him accidentally in town; he was divorced and I was having a difficult time with my long term partner. I called at his house (invited) to take a birthday card for his daughter and he answered the door in a grandad dressing gown, grandad slippers and nylon socks. That sort of thing. A friend had a guy she fancied crash out in her lounge after a late night (nothing happened here) and she got up next morning to find his (ancient, holey) underpants drying on the radiator.

Show quote history

Thanks. In retrospect I don't think he had any personal habits like that that put me off-he just did my head in.
Tried explaining gently why I liked to come around with a coffee to think in peace, that I wasn't getting up at 5.30 for any other reason, he wouldn't listen.
One of many reasons we broke up.
If I dared suggest I needed this little bit of 'me time' to ponder on the day ahead, I was told that that wasn't how relationships or being in a couple worked.
The way he said relationships was in itself enough to wind me up. I really couldn't stand being in same room as him.
My new guy brings me a coffee and says 'see you in a bit then'. Lovely.
I don't know if he was being abusive or just couldn't help being a prat.
I do know my life is much better without him.

BarkingMad7355 · 20/06/2022 09:22

One guy I went out with needed constant attention and affection. One time we were sitting watching a TV show and he slowly started putting his face between mine and the TV, looking right into my eyes. At road crossings we'd be standing side by side then he'd come in front of me and try to 'have a moment'. That's when he'd try to kiss me and look into my eyes. Maybe some people like that but I can't be in the moment at a road crossing.

He'd also start to use words that I used but he'd use them in the wrong context. Would piss me right off. My DH sometimes picks up words I use after I've said them but this doesn't bother me.

Another guy could only cook supernoodles, total ick. Yet, I taught my DH to cook not long after I met him and that didn't bother me.

I tend to notice when guys are trying to show off in front of people - puts me right off.

BarkingMad7355 · 20/06/2022 09:26

@Milly2016 did we date the same guy! Mine used to call it "your crazy alone time" when I wanted a few hours to myself. An evening... well... the audacity! He could not understand why I'd want a bit of time to myself and not paying attention to him constantly.