The ick = game over?

[Ella28_]

I'm dating this guy and sometimes he says completely innocent words or phrases that make my skin crawl and completely turn me off him and I'm genuinely thinking about ending it. So petty of me but I literally can't get past it. Defo gonna die alone at this rate 😂

Anyone else get the ick over the most minor things?

Oh my god I love this thread. I'm going through a horrible divorce from my awful ex (ick moments a-plenty, he doesn't clean his teeth properly for starters)

I was feeling a bit sad and lonely tonight and now I just feel fucking relieved! Haven't laughed so much in ages

I dated someone for a couple of years then suddenly started to get the ick every time he touched me. He would try to hold hands or something and I would be physically repulsed by the sensation. I could barely look at him in the end. It's interesting what was posted above about the infantile/paedophile link, because he was very immature. Not in a fart joke kind of way, but in his mid-20s with a job and his parents did absolutely everything for him, e.g. his mum would make him cups of tea and bring them up to his bedroom as though he couldn't even come downstairs if he wanted a cup, his dad would drive him everywhere, even though they lived in London, he'd never used public transport. The only food he knew how to prepare was Pot Noodle. Maybe my brain did eventually realise how wrong that all was.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

When I was 20 I stayed over at a guy’s house who still lived with parents. He showed me his childhood ‘paintings’ (scribbles) that were still on the fridge, his teddybears lined up on the windowsill AND THEIR NAMES, and when I came out of the shower in the morning to see him sitting up in his single bed playing a video game that was it and I icked right out of there. Oh and there were a million photos of him in the house… but none after the age of about 10 😬

I got the ick with a guy almost immediately and really tried for a year. Everything he did was gross. I wasn’t attracted to him and have no idea to this day how I coped with doing the do with him. I was lonely and sad. That’s why I kept trying. But truth is the ick would never ever of allowed us to work.

@katedan If you seriously can't get past the ick, it doesn't matter a tit whether you've been together 1 week or 100 years. You won't ever feel like having sex with him again; you'll start to show how irritated you are, and get snappy with him; you won't respect him and you'll be resentful at life for trapping you (as that's what it'll feel like to you) with someone whom you despise.

End result: you'll hurt him terribly - after all, he's blind to what's triggering you - he'll deeply resent your reluctance for sex, and you'll be deeply unhappy yourself.

So, basically, you have to ask yourself - how desperately upsetting do I find the ick?
Do I still love this guy despite the ick?
Can we discuss the ick, or is it beyond me to bring it up?
Would I miss him more than I mind the ick, if we split up?

hugs

My sister is a very Alpha female but unbelievably ended up with the most Beta male I have ever known in my life. When I would go over to hers to help with Christmas dinner he would stand in the kitchen rubbing his hands around each other just watching us and not saying a word. There were loads of other quirks he had but that one ikced me out the most. It still mystifies me how she tolerates him. I honestly couldn't spend one weekend with him.

When I look back at exes, there were loads of things that gave me the ick and make me shudder now but I overlooked them at the time. One ex sat on MY knee in a club. He was a big guy too.
Another ex swung his arms too much not forward and backward, but slightly left to right when he walked, with the fingers pointed, almost as though dancing. Also stroking his shaved head and his goatee beard at the same time, one hand on each. His laugh could also get too childlike at times, like a little gleeful 'haha!' He'd use loads of irritating expressions, like 'munch' for food and 'ting' even though he wasn't Carribbean. God, he was awful. Need I even mention the sarong?
Another one was just really cringeworthy in the bedroom. He liked it when I stroked his chest, so he'd close his eyes and push his chest out like a cat, making noises. When he entered me he'd also pull the most awful face, appreciative but so so unsexy, almost like a 'oh my god, I can't believe we're doing this ' face. Christ!

I got the ick factor when an ex of mine would bend his toes behind his feet whenever he sat down. Another ex gave me the ick factor when he would drink his tea like an old man and pull a strange face after every sip. Once you see the icks it's all downhill from there I'm afraid.

"he carried his change in a little coin purse-"

Of all of his bloody big list of icks this one would have done it for me :-)

Exp 1. Whilst DTD his hearing aid kept beeping. Gone.....

Exp 2. After DTD he said he had to leave to have dinner with this mum. Gone.....

This thread has me howling.

Years ago I worked with a guy I had a major crush on. He was effortlessly cool but so nice with it. He was good looking, kind and generous and basically seemed to be the perfect man. All the girls at work fancied him and I couldn’t believe my luck when he asked me out. We went out for a few weeks and we were getting on like a house on fire, things felt like they were getting serious. But then we slept together which was also great until afterwards when we were lying in bed and he yawned. No idea why but the sight of him yawning gave me a major ick and I instantly lost all attraction for him. I had to break things off with him after that and honestly I’ve wondered for years what the hell is wrong with me, until I’ve read this thread and realised I am not alone!

@LaunchingTeabag I just died.😂

That’s really very interesting! Makes sense 🤷‍♀️

@Yolojo you are so funny, wetting myself reading your comments 😂😂

Singing "Come on Eileen" to me when we were dancing to it & replacing Eileen with my name. He knew I wasn't keen on the song but that did it for me. Petty I know!
Ordering a sandwich in a pub. Then he took it apart with his boney fingers to remove the bits he didn't like, leaving them in a pile, covered in Mayonnaise on his plate. Another petty one, but why not just ask for a sandwich minus the bits you don't like? Didn't go for a second date.
Wearing double denim....

When he entered me he'd also pull the most awful face, appreciative but so so unsexy, almost like a 'oh my god, I can't believe we're doing this ' face

ooh that’s just reminded me of a guy I was hoping would become a regular fuck buddy. He was Croatian, tall, absolutely gorgeous but I got the ick the first (and only) time we had sex as with each thrust he looked at me expectantly, eyebrows raised, mouth open, nodding his head slightly, as if he was expecting praise. It was so off-putting! He also asked me to get extra pillows for him because of his heartburn and slept very propped up.

I remember once getting the ick so badly I thought I'd actually throw up - so petty of me, and mean - when a guy told me proudly, then proceeded to show me, that his adult teeth had never grown in.

@CruelSummers the hot damp muffin made me gag a little bit.

You made the right decision.

I was seeing a bloke years ago who liked to talk dirty to me on the phone and who spanked my bum during sex (he didn't look like a spanker, but maybe the phone sex should have been a clue). Massive ick

I think its sil who everytime its someones birthday or father's day etc will put up a post on facebook "to the best daddy/uncle/grandad in the WHOLE WORLD hope you have an amazing day filled with love and happiness, we have just spent the most special day with you making amazing memories! We are so lucky to have you!"

I mean top marks for enthusiasm. I could never muster this much up I would give myself the ick

First Date!! I was so excited, he was so good looking, right up my street. We went for a beautiful meal in a country pub, gorgeous early summer evening. Everything was going great.... then it was time to settle the bill and he got a little purse out, complete with the little click fastener on top and started counting out notes and coins!!!

Yes on both of those! Never whip out a half bottle of lube, I’d just want to say “oh look, you’ve used some already” and see their reaction.
And endless questions on how IT feels during sex, “is that good?” “do you like that?” “What do you want to try next?” etc I didn’t realise it was a bloody test!!!

Many years ago and man I’d been chatting to online (way way before Tinder etc) travelled 150 from Cleethorpes to finally meet me. We had a coffee and decided how to spend the day. I said I’d do the driving as I knew the area and he said he’d just go and get his coat from his car. He ran back to his car and his run was like Duncan Norvelle when he said “chase me”. That was a very long day and at the end he said “Can I kiss you?” and in the process of him trying to put his tongue in my mouth all I could think about was his effeminate run.

@Clearthinking I think many posts like that are just performative. They want EVERYONE to know what a fabby-fabby lovely life they have.