My husband upset me but was probably justified

[Rosebel]

He's pissing me off so much!
DH does have a slight hearing loss but asked me 3 times tonight where the hayfever medicine was. First 2 times he didn't hear me so I raised my voice the 3rd time.
He then nags me about putting it somewhere different. Well I had taken it out of the medicine cabinet because this morning he couldn't find it so I put it on the side so he could find it easily (but of course I was wrong to do that).
DH decides he's going to bed and asked if I was too. I said yes and asked him to turn the TV off, as he was stood right next to it. He didn't hear me so I admit I probably did shout at him asking him to turn off the TV.
He went fucking mental, threatened to throw his bottle at my head as I was really pissing him off and screamed in my face saying over and over not fucking nice is it?
I said to him I was sorry for shouting but it's annoying saying things multiple times
He huffed off to bed
I'm exhausted (been up since 4 with our toddler) and due I'm work early tomorrow but I don't want to go to bed because my husband really upset me. I got no apology for being screamed at or threatened.
I know I started it by shouting first but I'm so upset that he can react like that and 15 minutes later is snoring so loudly can hear him down here.
Am I just being stupid to feel so upset? He was probably justified in his reaction and I can't see it as I'm dead tired. Won't be able to sleep though and have to be up at 2 anyway.

He didn't come back in to ask where it was just shouted from the kitchen (not a nasty shout just so I'd hear him) to ask whee if was. So should I then get up and tell him or should he have come back in to the room to ask me?

@DontBlameMe79 what is your answer to the OP’s question?

You've posted about this prick numerous times why are you still with him

totally agree with this

OP, I am in the exact same situation in that my DH has significant hearing loss. I was having to shout louder and louder otherwise he wouldn’t hear me. He eventually conceded he had a a problem, got tested and has hearing aids in both ears now. He totally accepts it’s his responsibility to wear the hearing aids and totally his fault if he doesn’t, forcing me to have to shout to be heard. He never gets cross about it. Just to add, I have an Illness that is destroying my hearing too and also have hearing aids, which I do at all times or if I’ve taken them out for some reason, I expect my DH has to shout otherwise I wouldn’t hear him. I used to see a hearing specialist and the one thing she did say was try to get the persons attention first by touch or standing in front of them before speaking. I try to do this first but it’s not always convenient If we are other side of the room from each other. And yes it can be exasperating! Your DH is totally in the wrong. You are not! It is his problem and his to solve! As for the violent response and threats!! NO excuse!! I would be telling him if he does that again you will divorcing him and or involving the police!

Yeah, all abusive men need is MORE EMPATHY.
FFS.

His deafness is a red herring.
TellyGate was a red herring.
His abuse has been going on for years. Note how OP is constantly on the back foot, feeling herself in the wrong, offering abject apologies for - what - making him threaten her with a bottle? Because NOW LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO?
Note how she already knew he would refuse to apologise for scaring her, & would stonewall her until she's fully back in Fawn mode.

Apologies to OP - I am NOT calling you 'fawning' or implying this is a permanent trait or that you are in any way weak - your are clearly strong, given the man & temper you are coping with. You are managing a long term pattern of control & manipulation in whatever way works & keeps you safe-enough for now. When I say "fawn" I mean as a basic human response to threat - we fight/flight/freeze/fawn. When living with a dominator, 'fawn' is a reasonable option.

But it's not sustainable. I hate that he shouts to you from another room, & so obviously expects you to come trotting obediently to him to sort out whatever it is he wants & can't manage for himself. That is SO disrespectful. Like you are his servant. If he wanted your help, why could he not come & ask for it, instead of yelling & expecting service? Also ... you'd been up since 4am with your toddler. Surprise us all - when does HE get up early/at night for the toddler? Especially considering that YOU work, too? Why did YOU need to be up at 2am again?

He was probably justified in his reaction and I can't see it as I'm dead tired.
You are exhausted, managing your child, your job, & your ill-tempered, entitled H.
I hope you are still reading, despite the substantial derail, because I came back to tell you that your H WAS ABSOLUTELY NOT JUSTIFIED IN HIS REACTION TO YOU. You have just been undermined & controlled for so long, & you are so exhausted that you have forgotten that it is NOT OK for men to scare women, then make the woman apologise to him, for being a scary brute.

Please don't feel obliged to come back OP, I just hope you have found some support in what turned out to be a contentious thread with not enough focus on YOU.