Partner won't eat fruit or veg!!!!

[user12312]

Hi ladies. Please help I'm at my wits end!
My partner WONT eat fruits or any type of vegetables. It's driving me insane. I feel like I'm dealing with one of the kids every day.

We have been together under 1 year and now it's really getting me down. He bokes even looking at veg. Both my kids eat a wide range of fruit and veg as do I. Then there's my partner who won't entertain them.
He told me he would make more of an effort and at least try different foods etc.
Tonight for example I put a couple spoons of sweetcorn (which was cooked in butter) on to his plate. He ate a bit and hid the rest under his lasagna and said he was finished. All the sweetcorn was under the leftovers.
It absolutely riles me as I feel like I'm dealing with a child.

It's really starting to make me feel differently about our relationship. It's actually putting me off him a bit if I'm entirely honest.

Any words of wisdom? Thanks

Does he financially contribute while he is hoovering your kids treats? Honestly the issue is that this is symptomatic of an underdeveloped human, a child in an adults body. It will come out in many other ways, not just the unhealthy food choices but in all contributions to adult life and partnership. I think you already know you cannot be bothered trying to raise a manchild (a pointless task anyway as that boat has sailed).

Years ago, my brother in law came to live with us for 6 weeks, prior to moving in with his girlfriend. He refused to eat any vegetables except potatoes. One day, he said "You'll have to show Sarah how you make your gravy, it's fantastic" His face was a picture when I said "Oh, it's easy, I just make normal gravy, then I puree all the veg you say you don't like, and mix them in".

@JanisMoplin hmmmm.

It’s not long term partner behaviour from a health and maturity perspective, it’s not partner behaviour from a going out to meals perspective. My first boyfriend at 18 didn’t eat veg and I wasn’t impressed then. His mum said he ate them more when I was around, I think I was supposed to be bowled over but I thought ‘what is he 4 years old?’
then you add this: He is unable to clean etc. washes dishes and I have to re wash them! He doesn't know how to do a load of laundry! His mum told me one time she had to hide the choc biscuits from him in the oven as he always sniffed them out and ate them all! Like wtf!!!
oh my god run for the hills. You already have children why would you take on an extra adult one? Say politely you really feel adults should know how to wash dishes and do a load of laundry, you have two children already, you never again want to rewash a dish after a man has attempted it and the relationship isn’t going to work.

You made the lasagne without any onions, carrots, celery or tomatoes?

How?

The not liking it wouldn't bother me, DH is a bit of a beige fan, but the pulling faces and stuff in front of kids is a massive no no. I don't pander to DH's fussiness, I cook whatever for us or he cooks and he is free to eat or not eat whatever parts of it he wants, but he doesn't say anything is horrible or pull faces because he's not five years old.

I agree with you OP. This would drive me mad too. Hiding his sweetcorn under his leftover lasagne FFS!

I’d have sex with somebody like that (assuming they are attractive) but I wouldn’t be in a long term relationship with them.

He is basically telling you that you are going to have to do all of the housework forever, while he pulls faces at you like a badly behaved seven year old. Fuck that.

They can choose based on whatever they want, doesn’t mean it’s not stupid. My husband is Indian. I can’t do spicy or food with sauce. It’s never caused us any problems, ever. Occasionally he laughs that it’s funny an Indian person married someone who can’t handle spice but that’s about it. Why on Earth would it matter?

Off topic, but what is roasted cheese?

You’ve basically got yourself a third kid with worse eating habits than your own kids.

By the sound of it he does less chores than your kids too.

Totally untrainable, take this one back to the rehome centre (or his mum’s) and find a grownup.

What my granny calls cheese on toast. Not sure if it's just a Scottish thing to call it roasted cheese!

It’s not the veg - and I told the OP to forget about that. It’s the pulling faces and pretending to be such, the inability to clean or do a load of laundry, the selfish behaviour around treat food…

Aah. Cheese on toast. Thank you

To be fair @JanisMoplin i don’t think the PP you responded to was implying that someone has to stay with a person who is a fussy eater if they don’t want to be with them.

Anyone can see why it might be important for the reasons you say, but there is quite a lot of judgement on the thread about people who are extreme fussy eaters, it’s as though they see it as a character flaw, as somehow indicative of a moral failing which is totally unfair and I can see why people find it upsetting.

If it matters to OP that much she should “set him free” to find someone who won’t judge him so harshly who will like him the way he is.

I would find this very unattractive in a partner. What happens when you go out to restaurants? Does he insist on mainstream beige places? For me, exploring new cuisines together here and abroad is important and this would put me off him

Lol. It's cheese roasted under the grill @Blowyourowntrumpet ☺️

What, exactly, does he bring to the relationship?

Surely you don't roast it, you toast it so it is cheese on toast?

I just wont be attracted to someone without adventurous tastes in food. Sorry but that is just the way I am. Just like some women aren't attracted to short men. Is that stupid?

I hardly eat any Veg .. my husband doesn’t eat any red meat (just chicken and fish) .. he also hates hates hates seafood.
Our 16 year old daughter has always (and continues to eat) lots of veg, eats red meat and loved seafood - your children will make their own minds up.

The smell of tinned sweetcorn makes me gip - vile stuff.

In the 20 years we have been together it’s never been a problem, you just work around likes and dislikes. If my husband tried to police my food, or me his - that would be unacceptable.

Surely one of the joys of being an adult is that you can eat what you like ..

@ApolloandDaphne roast it, toast it same thing. But if you really think about it, toasting it would be done in the toaster and roasting the cheese is done under grill

as an adult, he gets to decide what he eats. How wold you like it if he tried to dictate to you?

That’d be grilled cheese, surely?

I wouldn't be able to live with someone like this.