Partner won't eat fruit or veg!!!!

[user12312]

Hi ladies. Please help I'm at my wits end!
My partner WONT eat fruits or any type of vegetables. It's driving me insane. I feel like I'm dealing with one of the kids every day.

We have been together under 1 year and now it's really getting me down. He bokes even looking at veg. Both my kids eat a wide range of fruit and veg as do I. Then there's my partner who won't entertain them.
He told me he would make more of an effort and at least try different foods etc.
Tonight for example I put a couple spoons of sweetcorn (which was cooked in butter) on to his plate. He ate a bit and hid the rest under his lasagna and said he was finished. All the sweetcorn was under the leftovers.
It absolutely riles me as I feel like I'm dealing with a child.

It's really starting to make me feel differently about our relationship. It's actually putting me off him a bit if I'm entirely honest.

Any words of wisdom? Thanks

You've been given advice, & all you have done is ignore it while being aggressive to PP.

Good luck with your manchild, who you moved in to your gaff within 8 seconds of meeting so you can be his housemaid, cook & nanny, because you cannot function without some bloke in tow.

OP, given what you’ve written, what’s the story here; why are you with him?

Does he have a very high-flying career perhaps, so he’s able to take care of your family financially, or is he a world-class scientist, and you’re hoping that you’ll have genius children together, or is it something else?

Well, now I want cheese on toast.

Legs at ten to two on command? Who said anything about sex? Get you're mind out the gutter hun

No none of the above @NotKevinTurvey. I love him I can't just turn my feelings of like that. Even although he drives me crazy with his whole attitude to food etc.

i wouldn’t be with a man if he constantly commented on my diet and tried to cajole me into eating things I didn’t want to eat - whether it’s under the guise of “healthy” or not.

if you can’t accept it and it’s putting you off then you are more than entitled to eat the relationship, likewise he is more than entitled to tell you to do one because he is an adult and have autonomy to choose his food and lifestyle choices.

you can either accept it or end the relationship - you can’t spend your life trying to force feed vegetables to someone who doesn’t want them (regardless of how healthy they may or may not be!)

likewise he is more than entitled to tell you to do one because he is an adult and have autonomy to choose his food and lifestyle choices.

Why would he do that? OP houses him, does his laundry, cleans up after him & cooks - all he needs to do is pull faces, make boaking noises, & push his veg to the side of his plate. Exactly what else he contributes to the household is a mystery, as despite being asked, OP refuses to tell ...

You clearly don't know how forums work.

You can post what you like. But so can everyone else

Nethuns is thataway >>>>>

And to everyone banging on about how unhealthy such a poor diet is - I'm very nearly 70 😱and due to force-feeding of vegetables by my mother, I won't touch them.
I will eat salad and some things in casseroles but by most of your standards my diet is unhealthy.

I've survived (so far) and my children, due to me feeding them well in spite of my preferences, eat most things

Never seemed to put friends or boyfriends (back in the day!) off either. They were just kind enough to find a restaurant where there would be something I would choose

My husband was like this when I first met him, would only touch a pea on a special occasion! It did annoy me at first but gradually we have found stuff that he likes and now he actively likes some, but not all vegetables. For him, it's a texture thing, and I think also as if he didn't like something he never was made to try it again. He now will eat veg as long as it is roasted and usually heavily seasoned etc, things like brocolli and kale.
Does he say why he doesn't like it? It might go back to childhood.

And yet you went in early with the "brain cell" comment which was in no way sarcastic or patronising. 😉

That said, I agree totally. If he just didn't eat them it could be worked around but the dramatics around them sounds infantile.

Wow reading this thread was quite the ride

Also really fancy some cheese on toast now - no onions on mine either thanks

He steals your children's treats because he believes he's the Most Special Boy.

Do you really, truly love somebody who expects you to love him more than your babies? Who is happy to teach your children to associate healthy food with vomiting?

He's manipulating you to put him first over your children - a cuckoo in the nest who will, in time, continue pushing them out of the way so that he can get all the love and attention.

Does he have an incredible ability to make you feel like you're kicking a puppy if you're annoyed with him? Give you a sad face so you feel bad about expecting any adult behaviour from him? Gives it all the little boy lost look so you feel all melty and reassuring him instead of telling him to get a grip and grow up?

He's using babyish behaviour to appeal to your mothering instincts rather than acting as an adult male. At the expense of your children (and you, as you're the one paying for the replacement treats and the more expensive processed foods that he wants rather than vegetables).

That's not fair and that's not right - to deliberately target your instinct to love, protect and care for your children to get what he wants - sweeties, treats, affection, his washing done for him, anything he decides he wants from you; he's weaponising your kindness so that he feels that you love him more than your children.

Thanks to this thread I had cheese on toast this evening. I bought some comté and some onion confit for it too. It was very nice.

😂

if that’s the way he ate all his life @user12312 T
then I highly doubt you’ll convince him to change. My DH used to be very much just meat and potatoes type of guy, due to laziness not hatred for fruit & veg. He actually doesn’t mind carrots, Brussels sprouts, spinach, sweet corn so we try to incorporate them in out menu as often as possible.

To the poster who asked if anyone actually really likes veggies - I do 😍I don’t know if it has got anything to do with growing up in Europe, but I genuinely love them. Just yesterday I had a bunch of asparagus, ROASTED in olive oil, garlic and sea salt, served with grated Parmesan cheese. Yummy. There’s so many delicious ways of serving veggies than just steamed or boiled.

That's a pleasant thing to say.

My dad is 85 - never eats fruit and the only veg he will very occasionally eat is frozen peas. He still has his own teeth - and although he now has a few health issues as you would expect at his age but is basically doing ok - it hasn’t seemed to harm him in any substantial way.

Yeah @CloseYourMouthLynn I have thought it may be a bit more deep rooted stemming possibly from childhood.
I have asked him what he was like as a child eating different foods and he said his mum was soft with him and didn't enforce healthy eating habits.
It's just so frustrating at times

@NeverDropYourMooncup yeah that makes sense and in some aspects you're absolutely spot on in what you're saying.
He does pay his way though and will help out with food shopping etc.
That said it's just so frustrating. My ex (kids dad) had quite the sophisticated pallet and was one of the things we really enjoyed, trying new foods cooking together etc.
it's hard to adapt from being used to that for 10 years to now dealing with a whole different type of man

Glad something good came out of this thread

Mon the roasted cheese! Erm I mean cheese on toast 🫣😋

You're not his mother. Why are you even bothered about this he's a grown man

@Allywill
Exactly! My grandfather lived until he was 90 and he never ate any fruit, salad or vegetables in his life. He never had any health issues. Lots of people don’t like fish, I certainly don’t and would probably throw up if anyone tried to insist that I ate it. I love fruit and veg but I can’t stand salad. Does that mean I’m unhealthy despite the fact that I have 5 portions of fruit and veg every day?
Admittedly though I’m quite a fussy eater but I still successfully managed to raise two healthy DC who aren’t. If my partner tried to dictate what I ate then I would be off. You can’t force yourself to eat food you really dislike. It’s an entirely different situation to choosing not to eat a healthier option because you’d prefer a burger!

You have put a man into your house who is modelling an eating disorder to your children, & stealing their treat food.
You refuse to answer PP who are concerned about whether he actually lives with you, & if so, what he contributes to the household.
Leaving people to assume he is cocklodging off you at the expense of your kids.
^^
You run around after him like you are his housemaid & nanny.
Now you're posting here about how can you mummy him into eating his vegetables nicely.
^^
^^
Why don't you focus on your children, & dump this loser?

This. You moved some new boyfriend in to your kids home, clean up after him, let him rob your kids food and model damaging behaviour to them? Your fury at people replying here is misdirected.