Partner won't eat fruit or veg!!!!

[user12312]

Hi ladies. Please help I'm at my wits end!
My partner WONT eat fruits or any type of vegetables. It's driving me insane. I feel like I'm dealing with one of the kids every day.

We have been together under 1 year and now it's really getting me down. He bokes even looking at veg. Both my kids eat a wide range of fruit and veg as do I. Then there's my partner who won't entertain them.
He told me he would make more of an effort and at least try different foods etc.
Tonight for example I put a couple spoons of sweetcorn (which was cooked in butter) on to his plate. He ate a bit and hid the rest under his lasagna and said he was finished. All the sweetcorn was under the leftovers.
It absolutely riles me as I feel like I'm dealing with a child.

It's really starting to make me feel differently about our relationship. It's actually putting me off him a bit if I'm entirely honest.

Any words of wisdom? Thanks

Surely nobody is suggesting she should leave the man she loves because he doesn't eat fruit and vegetables? If you don't want to cook to meals, let him cook for himself - you don't have to leave him....

My husband is similar (not quite as bad maybe) and of course it annoys me sometimes as I am quite an adventurous cook, but I don't fall out with him over it - I love him - and he is a human being and allowed to eat what he likes!

When DD is with me we tend to cook the stuff we like and just stick something in the oven for him (burgers and chips or whatever - literally takes us about two more minutes). When DD is at her dad's I will cook stuff he likes for the two of us - it's a bit boring sometimes but it's not that bad. Because I love him and would like him to live longer I do sometimes try and "hide" vegetables in the food (like you would for a toddler) - it's not difficult or much effort - and if I can't be bothered to do that I don't!

(I should add that he does prepare meals too for himself/both/all of us if I ask him to - I just like doing it usually).

I have zero worries that my daughter will decide not to eat vegetables because he doesn't, as I believe her to be a fully rational being capable of sensible decision-making, and that would be bonkers! And yes she is 10 - but I wouldn't have worried (and didn't) even when she was younger.....

So yeah, it's the sort of thing that annoys me occasionally and I might moan to my friends about it - but leave him? Seriously?

It's not up to you what he eats. It really isn't. It's very controlling to be putting food he obviously doesn't like onto his plate because you think he should eat it.

I'm 42 and have only recently starting eating green veg, carrots etc. They just tasted far too strong for me previously. No idea what changed but I really wouldn't have appreciated someone shaming what I eat by forcing me to eat foods I found disgusting.

If you can't leave him be, you need to break up.

I have mixed feelings about this one. In one way it reminds me of why I wouldn't date a vegetarian as I love to cook meals with meat. However I also think it shouldn't matter, let him eat what he wants as he's an adult. I don't eat many fruits, except for grapes. Most of them don't taste good or gives me stomach issues. But I love veggies, so someone who doesn't eat veggies would irk me a little, but if he was great all around great guy I wouldn't LTB for it.

My kids eat a wide variety of fruit and veg and these yogurts are a treat.
My partner eats zero fruit and veg and only binges on sweet foods and chocolate so yeah @DockOTheBay this very much is an issue. Thanks for you're input though ☺️

Absolute man child. You can't live like that. Get rid and tell him why.

It would seriously put me off. It's important to me to share the same lifestyle and food is a big part of that. It also sets a bad example to the children and he's going to end up very unhealthy.

YABVU.
You can control what another adult eats, who cares if he likes plain food, not everyone eats a large variety.

Judgemental comments around eating habits really upset me, my children have ASD, their diets are as balanced as I can make them but I’d feel so heartbroken if someone looked down on them because of them not liking vegetables when they are older, it’s not their fault.

Either accept his diet for what it is or break up with him but don’t try to force him to eat things he doesn’t like, his diet is his responsibility.

@user12312 I completely get why this would be a bit frustrating, but honestly, I think he’s an adult and it’s his choice. I suspect sometimes when people are parents that impulse can generalise to people who are not their children, including their partners and it’s just quite inappropriate even though they mean no harm.

It sounds like he is being very patient with you so far, but if my partner started giving me a hard time at mealtime I would be very annoyed. I like food so putting a dampener on meal times would be not fun. I eat healthily myself and eat a wide range of food meat, veg, herbs and spices but there are people for whom the taste of certain foods is just too disgusting. They shouldn’t have to justify their choices to anyone else, they don’t owe you or anyone else “healthy eating”. I know a vegetarian who doesn’t like any vegetables (!!) he hasn’t eaten them for probably 20 years and he has yet to keel over. It’s not right to expect to control another person, and it’s definitely not right to be unhappy or moody with them for not doing what you tell them to.
So my advice is: apologise if you have been repeatedly trying to get him to eat the way you think he should, and don’t bring it up ever again. Also don’t draw attention to it if he does decide to try some different things of his own accord.

Have posters missed the update that he doesnt know how to clean or do the washing up? He is a mummy's boy. Unless you want another child, run.

I have adhd and it causes me sensory issues with food - I can’t eat sauce or “wet” textures. These comments piss me off as well. Of all the things to judge someone for, people choose eating/not eating certain foods? It’s pathetic!

Since you asked. His mum has clearly mummied him for all these years. He is unable to clean etc. washes dishes and I have to re wash them! He doesn't know how to do a load of laundry! His mum told me one time she had to hide the choc biscuits from him in the oven as he always sniffed them out and ate them all! Like wtf!!!
It's all just really getting to me now

Why are you with him? Does he pay his way? Or is he just using you for sex?

I'm exactly the same as your partner. I don't eat fruit and vegetables, never have really. It's not that I don't WANT to, I'd love to. But I physically can't. If that's me being fussy I'll take it but please understand we can't help what we like and dislike!!

I'm not sure why it would bother another person so much. Sure you may not have as many communal meals together but it's better than giving him something he doesn't like.

Nope. Everyone has the right to choose a compatible partner. I wouldn't date anyone who can't eat spicy foreign food either because I am a foreigner and that is the only food I cook for DC and myself.. Food is cultural and it is important for me to share that culture. Just like other things are important to other people.

Did I hit a nerve 😂
Controlling much.

@GrazingSheep seriously you need to back off! You always have something to say don't you?
I created a previous post and you were one of a few to post absolutely vile responses to me.
This is a support group, not a hate group!
Do not comment on my post asking if my boyfriend uses me for sex you absolute vile person.

Sorry if I have offended you. But honestly read your posts again with clear eyes. What are you getting from this relationship?

He's a grown man and his diet is entirely up to him. You don't have to baby him. I live in a household of different habits (intolerances / veggie / meat-eating / different likes and dislikes) and it really isn't complicated. None of us judge what the others eat or don't eat.

It seems though that you're saying it's more the face pulling and fake puking that's making you angry, which I understand. That's really immature, and along with the other stuff you've mentioned it sounds like he's never grown up. Deeply unattractive.

It’s not about fruit and veg (and stop trying to make him eat them, that’s weird of you.)

Either you accept him as he is, the giant Man Baby, or you get rid and look for a better bloke, or you spend years trying to change him and annoying everyone in the process.

Yes, it would appear they have.

There used to be a time on the Relationships board when posters would

(a) give relationship advice

(b) read the posts from the OP and focus on those

(c) not treat this board as a proxy for the AIBU bearpit.

Bet he doesn’t “boke” at fast food, crisps, burgers - ie rubbish food.

If you hate it and it really puts you off him, then you are well within your rights to dump him. As anyone is, really. You don't have to justify it here. Others may disagree that its a problem but they don't have to put up with it and you do.

Why is he a giant man baby just because he doesn't like veg?!

This place is honestly bonkers sometimes.

Because he does not know how to clean or wash up?

I think you're being cruel, if someone doesn't like something you can't force them to eat it. My partner doesn't eat vegetables of any sort but I cook him the same meals as the kids but without veg. He takes multivitamins to boost his levels.

This would drive me insane and I totally get where you're coming from.

It doesn't really matter though, you've got THE ICK now and that's it. Just end it, once the ick hits your relationship is over.