Why are some women happy to do more domestic chores?

[GenuineInterest]

That's it really. I've name changed for this. I'm genuinely interested in why some women are happy to do more domestic chores than their male partners.

yeah, I'm not sure why we're using lions as a great example of the natural world. Male lions are lazy entitled fuckwits who are a danger to the cubs. I suspect lionesses literally only keep them around for their sperm.

if you want what's in the natural world, sure, go for that. Personally, I think our much bigger and more effective brains means I can and will expect more.

@Naunet @AryaStarkWolf I retract all previous statements about animals lacking gendered socialisation, as some new & rather startling documentary evidence has come to light.

I'm off to kill a small mammal with my teeth before running the hoover round.
Laters, killerz!

😂

Why would you change a user name for this, weird

😂 don’t forget to pop some ridiculously long eye lashes on first, or no one will know you’re a Lady Animal

Don't be silly, of course they'll know they'll see the Hoover in her hand!

they'll know they'll see the Hoover in her hand

😆

I've name changed in case I felt I wanted to give more detail about my current situation. If I did some people in rl might recognise me and I didn't want that connected to the other posts I've written. This is particularly sensitive because I am going to split with husband because he has no respect for me.

Makes complete sense to me. Lack of respect doesn't exactly make you feel loved and appreciated. Good luck!

That's what it amounts to though really, doesn't it? Someone who see's it as a woman's job to be a skivvy and wait on the man can't view as an equal or have any respect for you

(again talking about people here who both are working outside the home full time)

@GenuineInterest

Good for you. There is a whole world out there filled with people who know how to respect each other. Best of British to you with the escape plan.

bullying 'do it my way or else'.

I guess in theory although I don't think this is what most people mean, when they say their partner just messes everything up. I would think most people talk about minimum standards here - that you don't actually ruin clothes while doing laundry, that you also wash the pots when doing dishes instead of leaving things 'to soak' until your partner has enough and does them; that you dress kids weather appropriately and feed them other food than beige junk occasionally.

But surprisingly there seem to be so so many men who can successfully do their jobs and figure out how cars or computers work, but who simply can't understand how to operate a hoover..

Same reason as most. Im PT, he is full time on a hugely higher wage. He also has a health issue and I don’t want him burning himself out.

Yes, I completely agree. I think people like to say that women just have ridiculous standards etc... but it's an excuse in most cases.

Pub lunch with friends recently - one couple very late and arrived clearly furious with each other. He had taken one of the DC to drop him at a sports event before the rest of them came to the pub. He had got chatting to other parents and stayed to watch a bit of the practice. As a result, by the time he got back, they were late. His excuse was that she just expected him to "know" what time to get back. The fact that the time of the lunch was well known by everyone and that therefore, him doing a little minor mental calculation to work out that getting home at 12:30 when he still hadn't showered, shaved etc, was not going to work when they had to be at the pub at 13:00... honestly he couldn't understand.

Needless to say, it iwasn't even the women who took the piss out of him. It was the men. [Note - this is clearly not a great relationship and he has been known to say he won't bother doing any chores as she'll just complain. As I once watched him take 20 minutes to unload the dishwasher, I can see why she would regularly go ballistic!)

she just expected him to "know" what time to get back.

I wonder if he does the same at work. 'Oh but boss, how was I supposed to know that if this presentation needs to be finished by next week, I have to start working on it right now? Why didn't you tell me I need to leave my desk at 8.58 to get to a meeting room by 9?'
I suspect not.

Even with working and doing chores I still have a lot more free time and holidays than DH.
He contributes an awful lot and did more chores when the kids were little and my work pattern was different. However these days there no point in him leaving the house at 7 in the morning and getting home between 7 and 8 most days to chores left to make it 50 /50 when I could have done them before I go off cycling or hiking for the day.

Yes, I wonder this regularly myself. Or the classic, "if you'd just asked me to do it". How often does your boss have to a) ask you to do things that are just part of your job description and b) if you don't do it, and he complains, do you tell him he's nagging!?

Because it wouldn't get bloody done otherwise and I'm tired of having the same argument about housework. We both work full-time and I wfh which means I can do laundry etc in my lunch break. I am either working/housework/looking after kids from 7am-9pm every day, and do get burnt out every few months, have a few days of deep despair and depression, then pull my socks up and crack on.

I don't understand how women can live with such selfish, disrespectful men

Absolutely agree @AryaStarkWolf

In the absence of significant differences in health or hours works, how can anything think it is fair for one of the two people to just cover TVs household chores, week in, week out.

Nonsense about women noticing more or being naturally more talented makes me even more adamant that fairness must be included

@FinallyHere I totally agree. I wish I had named the thread differently because I actually meant why do some women do more chores than men if they both work similar hours/similar pressures etc.
People I have spoken to in rl seem to think it's fine to carry the load because 'that's just what it's like'. I actually hate my husband right now for the disrespectful way he has treated me and influenced the kids to think I'm 'spoiling everything' because I want him and kids to do their share

Wtf? That's outrageous OP, I would be absolutely livid with him for that attitude and that attitude pushed on to my children too, are any of your children girls? Because he's teaching her that she can look forward to be being the unpaid skivvy whenever she gets married and he's teaching your son that he's more important than his sisters because he should be entitled to his very own skivvy when he marries her.

Have you ever just said that to him? Or asked him why he thinks that you're the least important person in the house so have to clean up after everyone else?

In your shoes actually I would just stop, stop doing anything at all

DH works a physical job, any real grunt work on the cars or things like that he gets on and deals with, he does help out if I need him too though, plus I like doing it for him

How often do you need "grunt work" doing on the cars? :/

Ugh this "help out" stuff as well as if they're doing you a favour