Boyfriend cancelled our anniversary meal ...

[pinkblueoh]

It's our three year anniversary next Sunday.
We had the day planned
Out for drinks then a meal on the Sunday night.
I had bought a new outfit and was really looking forward to it.
Now he has turned around and said the next day he is going away with work for an awards evening so wants to spend the Sunday just chilling out.
So he has said we can go for the meal on Thursday instead.
Would you be annoyed ? How he gets this work invite and all of a sudden our plans have to change.

Why are you so determined to make this a US/UK thing? This is really irritating the hell out of me now!!

I'm in a long term relationship and don't plan on ever getting married. So nope, not what I implied at all.

Bloomin'eck people, this has turned into an epic derail which I doubt is helping the OP get her head around whether she should be annoyed with her BF or not 😬

I'm not determined to make it anything.. As I've already explained, I was just assuming that it was, due to American culture being different when it comes to dating etc. (as are all other countries! But I would imagine mumsnet is mainly UK with some America and not much else) - I'm probably wrong about that, too, so I apologise in advance to anyone who may get pissed off about that, too 😂
Never caused such a cerfuffle in my life, honestly. Kerfuffle? Never written or said kerfuffle either.

I know. Completely my fault.

Sorry, op. I'll bow out now and stop trying (and failing 😆) to defend my posts.
I should not have said anything in the first place as it was pretty irrelevant.

Hope you get the advice you need. As I've said, I'd be pretty pissed if my dp changed plans last minute, too. So totally get it.

There is a reason "Marriage" exists. Getting married is the ultimate commitment. Whether you want to acknowledge it or not, relationships which aren't marriage are inferior. That's just the way it is. There is a reason Marriage exists. People in love who love and care about each other usually want that ultimate commitment. It is the most natural part of human relationships.

It's not your fault! Please don't let them bully you. You are entitled to your opinions, and no one has the right to bully you off the thread.

There is a reason "Marriage" exists.

Patriarchal control of women's reproductive powers, so that men could ascertain which children were legitimately theirs for inheritance purposes.

Sorry, is that not what you meant?

@Alb0 Gievn that you've just described @SuziSecondLaw 's relationship as inferior, I doubt she's that interested in your support tbh!

Actually, I should have said "control of women's reproductive powers and domestic labour ..."

relationships which aren't marriage are inferior.
@Alb0

ODFOD

No. Financial security for women. Next of Kin also which supports women. Medical/Power of Attorney decisions, also which supports women.

If none of this was valid inn 2022, marriage would no longer exist.

Right back at you!

If you think marriage was invented for any of those reasons, you are deluded.

Also - power of attorney is definitely not bestowed through marriage.

Not sure why I'm engaging though, as it seems pretty clear that you're on a wind-up.

He’s just not that into you. Sorry :-( a man in love wouldnt do that

I never said it was the reason it was 'invented', but that is why it exists today. Today, marriage serves women better than men. That's why I said If none of this was valid in 2022, marriage would no longer exist.

power of attorney is definitely not bestowed through marriage.

It is in many countries.

And no, I am not on a wind up. Believe it or not, people can have views that differ from you, shock horror.

@Alb0 no one is bullying anyone but the poster in question completely derailed the thread, began her post with 'erm' and was being pointlessly facetious by saying 'how is it an anniversary?' knowing full well what the OP meant. Of course she has a right to her opinion but it would have been far more helpful if her opinion bore some relation to the original post.

@Alb0

Believe it or not, people can have views that differ from you, shock horror.

And yet when a previous poster said they've happily been with their partner for 20 years but no married, you said they were odd, that their relationship doesn't make sense and kept asking them to provide reasons for not being married!

Give it a rest, you've made your POV very clear and keep asking people to accept you have a different view to them while doing the exact opposite to people who don't share yours...

Me and boyfriend just celebrated our 12 year anniversary. We go out for drinks and post it on Facebook and people say nice things.

I'm nearly 50. Tons of my frigid similar with their anniversaries (marriage or just dating)

And marriage holds no benefit for me as the higher earner, more assets.

Anyway, the op. Why does he not want to celebrate Saturday or Friday. I assume this means you don't see him weekends? Which is odd unless everyone has their own kids?

This. ^ Me and DH used to celebrate the anniversary of the date we met, and my DC do it too, so do others I know. We got married in May - in the 1990s - and so celebrate that in May (obvs) but we also celebrate the day we met (Bonfire night - 5th Nov!) We have a Chinese takeaway, and some beers and celebrate that too. So what?

What a load of nonsense you do speak @Alb0 What planet are you from, and what century? Coz it ain't Planet Earth and the 21st century! MOST people celebrate anniversaries .. The day they adopted their cat, the day their dad died, the day they met their partner, the day they met David Beckham, the day they became a fan of Madonna, etc etc.

You sound dreadfully stuffy and snobby. Lighten up dude!

The irony

Are people really this obtuse?

Good for you, you’re so superior to everyone else because you care enough to post dont care