Boyfriend cancelled our anniversary meal ...

[pinkblueoh]

It's our three year anniversary next Sunday.
We had the day planned
Out for drinks then a meal on the Sunday night.
I had bought a new outfit and was really looking forward to it.
Now he has turned around and said the next day he is going away with work for an awards evening so wants to spend the Sunday just chilling out.
So he has said we can go for the meal on Thursday instead.
Would you be annoyed ? How he gets this work invite and all of a sudden our plans have to change.

What?! 🤦🏻‍♀️I'm not blaming Americans for anything! I never even said it was a bad thing.. Just unheard of amongst UK adults (or so I thought!!!! I was wrong, it's ok...)

I think most people know the year they got together, maybe the month. But I doubt many people really know to the day.

So you’re still going out for dinner as planned, just on a different day? What’s the problem with that? 😄

No idea why people are acting baffled about other people knowing how long they’ve been a couple for. Weird.

@SuziSecondLaw So do you never, ever spend an evening taking the time to celebrating your relationship with your DP?

As I said upthread, DH and I don't go overboard, rarely do gifts etc., but I have always really treasured the annual opportunities to have a nice meal together (home cooked or at a restaurant) and toast our relationship and future together.

You say that your DP says that this is something "only kids do".... tbh I just find that sad. And the idea that adults who would find it meaningful to toast their relationship must be "not well adjusted".... just bizarre.

I'm not talking about sickening Instagram posts or that kind of shite, but two adults who love each other simply setting aside meaningful dates on which to celebrate that together.

He is being disrespectful - OP just told to put up with his change of plans with no discussion - I would be giving him hell.

Also, for most couples it's a personal thing. So even though you think you don't know any who would celebrate a non-marriage anniversary, I bet you actually do. They're just quietly having a meal and a bottle of 'special occasion' wine together without telling all and sundry.

Exactly!
nobody knows when DP and I got together or what we do to celebrate.
we are in fact getting married and will celebrate both anniversaries :)

No we don't. Apart from valentines day I guess.

My dp didn't say that, he said the only people he knew doing it were kids from school.

I never said anything about anyone not being well adjusted.. I wasn't rude to anyone at all, that was someone else. All I seem to be doing is correcting people that are misquoting me 😂

I never, not once, said it was a bad thing. To be clear.. I genuinely thought op was being bizarre when she said boyfriend because she must surely have meant husband. But I was wrong, I've said I was wrong. I think it's absolutely lovely people celebrate anything at all. It's not a bad thing, I don't see it as a bad thing. I'm happy for you all.

This must be it. Sounds lovely 😊

We don't celebrate Valentine's day, because February 14th holds no special meaning for us at all.

I mean, we get a card, neither of us care for it. But I know a lot do, so that's fine.

That’s a pretty mean comment. Why does it matter who celebrates what??

Eh? What does nationality have to do with it?

Why would you assume that everything you don’t do must be “an American thing”? People just do different things because all people are different.

I’m married but still acknowledge the date we met as that’s when the story of us began. My husband doesn’t pay attention to it. Guess which one of us is the American?

Have people genuinely never seen someone who isn't married post something online along the lines of "one year with x"? It's perfectly common to mark a dating anniversary. I don't but loads of people do.

This thread reminds me of being told on MN I wasn't allowed to call my very long term, committed DP my partner as we didn't live in the same house, due to our parenting
situations at the time. I was instructed to call him my boyfriend. In our 50s!!... Maybe it was the 'marriage police' Alb0 again?!! 🤔

There are two types of people, those who think anniversaries are a big deal and must be celebrated and are massively disappointed and let down if a fuss isn't made, and those who don't care and therefore don't remember anniversaries and just go out for nice meals when they feel like it. There isn't a right or wrong, it's just personal preference. But it's probably more comfortable if both people in a relationship have the same preference.

DH and I don't celebrate anniversaries, it doesn't mean that we lack care or respect for each other it just means that making a fuss over a particular day of the year is not part of our 'love language'.

I've had the same! It's bollocks!

It's fine celebrating a dating anniversary until you're married.

If you're with the BF for 3 years and there's no sign of it turning into marriage then it sounds a bit of a hollow celebration.

Of course it matters.. Different countries have different cultures etc.

I didn't think it was American because I don't do it, I thought it was American because literally no adult I know has ever said they do this.

Plus going on dates, dating etc, didn't that all come from American culture.. In the UK it was courting, back in the day. That's the only reason I thought perhaps Posters were American, I was just making an educated guess, but I don't actually know.

I never said it was a bad thing. It's not a bad thing, and I think it's lovely that you and your husband celebrate it.

Oh my god, people. I wasn't being mean.

I've only heard of kids celebrating this, for eg my 15 year old recently 'it's our 5 month anniversary' etc. So that's why I said that.. I never said it was a stupid thing to do, or anything negative at all, just unheard of, to me... But I don't know everyone, so it really doesn't matter..

I think it's lovely if people celebrate this, or anything else they want to celebrate. I don't particularly care for valentines day, I still think it's lovely when my colleague gets a huge bunch of flowers delivered at work. I'm happy for people being happy. I don't know how I've managed to offend so many people on this thread.. I'm almost impressed with it 😂

We go out for a meal or go away for the night one our anniversary of getting together, we are in the UK and in our 30s. We have for the last 5 years, it's something to look forward to.

My mum and dad after nearly 40 years still do something on the date they got together AND celebrate their wedding anniversary.

I even know people who celebrate engagement anniversaries when they are in a mid to long engagement.

I also know people who don't - but it has no impact on me what they do or don't do.

I don't get why it matters what someone does or doesn't celebrate...married or not married.

I would be annoyed if my OH changed the day, but that's because it takes us weeks to plan around the children and sort out childcare and we don't get out much.

If I was able to go on the changed date without problems then I wouldn't be bothered.

Tbf to @SuziSecondLaw the current 'dating' trend has come over the US. These days you have to have 'the talk' with a partner before you can assume there's any exclusivity, which never happened in my day. You just started seeing someone, we never called it dating or dates and then were girlfriend and boyfriend. I also haven't celebrated a getting together anniversary since I was about 20, but then again I was married when I was 28.

Rightly or wrongly, I would also assume that anyone celebrating a dating anniversary was quite young.

Really? Most couples I know dated more than 3 years before getting married.

You know not every couple wants to get married right??

It's the underlying assumption of your post (and the overt assertion of others) that a relationship without marriage is inferior to a marriage and somehow immature. Many people never get married and never want to and their relationship is no less important or worthy of being celebrated.