Hi all,
I have been with my partner for a couple of years now, he owns his own place (or so I thought) and I own mine. He has basically moved in with me (it's easier for us both this way due to being closer to work) and we've lived together just over a year.
We try to go to his place once a week. Recently I have suggested I would like to move forward maybe get a place together or rent one of our places out so we are better off financially. He reacted badly to this and says he doesn't want to sell his place or rent it out. I am happy to sell or rent mine if it means we move forward together. I presumed he was struggling with commitment and maybe it was too soon for him to move forward, despite the fact we live together already.
I have since discovered (from some papers he threw out and asked me to shred) that he doesn't actually own his property but rather rents it from his ex in laws. I've done a check online and confirmed this is the case. He doesn't know that I know yet.
My first reaction was shock. He's told me since we met that he has worked so hard to get a mortgage and pay it as a single person (as I have too). He's told me he has 5 years left on his mortgage, that he's locked in for 5 years so he'd get a good rate and not be affected by the cost of living crisis in that respect etc etc. He planned to sell his flat when he retired and get a mobile home so he could travel abroad more. He's not simply lied about owning a property, he's fabricated a lifestyle.
I couldn't care less if he had absolutely nothing when we first met. I've never asked or wanted anything physically from him and I do not consider myself to be a materialistic person. I would have loved him the same whatever but the fact that he has been lying to me all this time is so confusing. I don't understand why he feels he needs to do it and when he plans on telling me the truth. I am still struggling to process it.
I really do not know the best way to approach this with him. If anyone has any input I'd be so grateful 🙏 thank you