Found videos of my boyfriend

[newstart2022]

Hi
I knew my partner was into porn - some of which seemed a bit strange, not stuff I expected a straight man to watch.
i can handle that but I found close to 50 probably more videos of him masturbating. A video of him taking his jeans off to show my underwear.
a video of him urinating in a glass and one off him jogging on the spot naked.photos of him bent over showing his behind.
honestly don’t know what to make of this.

@StThomasAqAintWrong
we don’t live together.

i am nearly there. Was looking for closure and burying my head in the sand.
this is real and serious and definitely not how I want to live.
he is so good at keeping it seperate that I sometimes forget about it.

Absolute nonsense

I think, for future relationships, you need to rethink the 'each to his own' regarding porn.

Read up on it and see the harm it can do. Then decide what your limits are regarding it. It's not just up to the man in your life.

I hope you have a friend you can talk to about this in real life. He has betrayed you and you have a right to talk about your feelings with someone you trust. It's a lot to get your head around, I hope you're doing ok.

@newstart2022 yeah sorry I should have been clearer, I was more addressing some of the posts suggesting that finding another man who is not into porn would be impossible. I think OP probably already has a strong sense of what she wants to do next, was just trying to reassure that there’s hope of finding someone without a raft of weird kinks she’s not into.

@Gettingthingsdone777 I do know what I need to do , I just keep putting it off. Huge part of me just can’t get to grips with it .

sorry Caroline but I don't think you grasp the concept of "lighthearted"!

Ugh, although he is right about porn, I f*cking hate Jordan Peterson.

He also said that women will regret not having children if they don't have them before the age of 35.

He acuses anyone who doesn't agree with him of being a "neo-marxist liberul".

@newstart2022 sorry! You are OP! apols that was worded really weirdly. Yeah it’s a really tricky situation, I’ve been there, these things take time to get your head around I think. One day at a time is the only way

@Gettingthingsdone777
no problem.
from the outside this is something I would never have tolerated when you are in the thick of it it’s horrible.
feel so detached from everything:(

I'm sorry he'd have to go for me - just too weird

LooseGoose22 · Today 10:33

"Expecting women to have higher/better or different standards of behaviour from men is discrimination and misogyny."

I don't expect women to have better standards, I expect people not to have double standards.

"Whh do you feel the need to start a derailing personal crusade about it in this thread anyway."

You are contributing to the derail. If you didn't keep responding it would die a natural death.

@carolineshaw
read your last comment, maybe follow your own advice.

Nanny0gg · Today 11:02

Good luck at finding a man with a sex drive who doesn't watch porn

"Absolute nonsense"

LOL. If you say so.

@newstart2022 completely get it, If he had ended the first date with a viewing of his personal video collection- we all would have run a mile! Just like if an abusive bf had been that badly behaved in the early dates they probably wouldn’t have stood a chance. But people are so good at hiding or minimising the deal breakers, that’s why next time you’ll probably find you’ll be a lot more “zero tolerance” with the porn stuff, just naturally- I know I was and I’m very glad of it. Hope you’re okay, the main this is to remember you haven’t done anything wrong at all, this is all his stuff 💐

my x didn't use porn. he doesn't even have a lap top! He drinks too much mind you. But it's not true that every man watches porn. I KNOW my x didn't.

@Gettingthingsdone777
thanks. Just wish he had never involved me on his life
He is yeh exact opposite of everything I thought he was.

@ChairP0se9to5
thanks. Porn use I could maybe wrap my head around.
the home made videos I can’t, and I can’t get them out of my head either.

Clearly the videos are being sent to someone to prove tasks are being carried out when 'ordered'.
An increasing number of men seem to be pursuing fantasies that involve other people's penises. The number of gay or bisexual men may be no different to what it used to be, but a lot of porn now has homo-erotic elements (shemales: T&A with a penis, cuckold: husband watching and sometimes touching someone else's penis or ingesting their sperm).
The element that appears most corrosive to the relationship (to me) is the use of the OP's underwear. Few men can wear their partner's underwear without it being noticeably stretched or stained. Th is suggests that the domme is deliberately provoking discovery.
Wherever he is on his journey, he has crossed a line that is impossible to forget and difficult to forgive.

Sounds like others have said, he's paying a dom/sexworker to have him film these tasks. I'd count that as cheating as he's clearly getting off on it sexually.

To add, these fetishes normally snowball, they need more to continue the high. That's why all these middle aged men are suddenly walking around and photographing themselves in fetishwear and lingerie and calling themselves transwomen - it's all about getting other parties involved in their public shaming and feminization fetish.

Good luck with extracting yourself OP, sounds like you know what your boundaries are.

@ZoeQ90 dating a bisexual would feel very strange to me and I’d be worried about sexual diseases.

For sexual diseases, why more so than with a straight person?

Jesus,thanks for the feckin nsfw warning,why wo You come on here describing it 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

@loveliesbleeding1
not sure what you mean?

Friendly bisexual here!

Nobody should feel obligated to date someone they don't want to, for whatever reason. It's not at all biphobic to say that you wouldn't want to date someone bi.

However it is biphobic, and ignorant,to imply all bi people are promiscuous, more likely to cheat and more likely to spread STDs.