I stayed over.

[hairtwirl]

Third date on Saturday
He insisted I stayed over instead of Uber home - I was happy as night had gone well
No sex

Had been talking 6-8 weeks

He had worked away in the middle so did not see each other then

He said 'see you soon' when I left in the morning and all seemed fairly normal from my point of view. I left about 10am on Sunday

NC from him since I left. Did text yesterday to hope his work day had went well but no response

Bad sign?

For context he is a 'bad texter' and frequently leaves 12-24 hours with text replies and will respond something thoughful. I suppose I probably just feel sensitive as we cuddled and kissed the whole night - but we have never spoken about anything heavy / exclusive / had intercourse. I was happy with way things were going

I seen anti depressants in his bathroom which is no problem for me - but makes me think I should go easy on him and not jump to conclusions about his contact style

Ill do it in the morning x x x

I will put the collective and myself out of misery

For now its jay shetty podcast. wine and my peace 😂

Yes I can't take the suspense either.

'Hey, you okay?' Is perfect

I'd ditch, I mean maybe he is just a slow texter but its DATING 101 to respond to a text promptly after the action moves on a stage to just confirm you are still there and intested. Even if he is, but hiding it under his standard 1-2 day texting, i couldn't be doing with that anyway.

And he wasn't that embasssed about PE to turn down a morning hand job!

I don't sense any desperation here, just the normal, why are men sometimes pretty crap.

Lol ive already been ditched to be fair. He has beaten me to it.

I dont know. I read on her once a girl posted that 'real gangsters move in silence' 😂😂 it stuck with me

I texted him last - he should text me. PE or not!

1 glass of wine would be enough for me to text ‘Hey, you ok?’ straight away and not wait till tomorrow 😅

Hairtwirl I know you are really keen but... say you message again in thr morning a quick 'hey are you okay?' You are setting yourself up to be the pursuer. Is that who you want to be in the relationship? Honestly, if it was me, I'd leave it. He should be wanting to make sure you are okay, he should be checking in on you. Do you want to spend the next however long guessing about the gaps between text messages? I think it would make me very anxious. I would throw him back. You sound lovely and I am sure there are others who could make you happier.

They almost all push for sex without a condom @hairtwirl . Nowadays they think there's nothing major around like AIDS was for my generation, so they're not bothered.

It's disgusting how much they wheedle/refuse to use one etc.

If I ever have sex before marriage again, I'll put in writing beforehand that I don't consent to sex without a condom.

I've had some outright refuse to wear one (I should've walked away) and a couple of times I was raped by stealthing.

I know there's monkeypox but it's mainly men who have sex with men who are catching that sexually, via anal.

He should txt you end of. I do think though he is humiliated about the PE and probably thinks he’s screwed it up. You are chatting on here and to friends. Guys don’t do that to have people make them see sense. Never mind admitting to his friends about PE. Wondering with his mental health issues he could be building this into something much bigger than it is and getting himself in a bit of a state about it.
If he does txt and things continue I think u need to tell him that u would appreciate x,y and z and be upfront about it. Wouldn’t be fair for u to be in this position a week or two down the line again. Even if he said really busy talk soon it’s better than silence.

Op this is rubbish. You sound fab and deserve better! I hope he does message you.

OP life is too short for this kind of thing. I wouldn't be texting again, sod that. Delete, block, next!

OP ''The issue is I am going to have to see him
Soon at yoga class? So I am going to see him
Eventually.
Maybe I have underplayed the ED and not realised how upset he would be.''

It's a difficult one OP - all I can say is I would not get in touch with him any more, now. I would leave it and see what he does. He needs to get in touch with you, now. You have already made contact. It is one of those situations where you need to be clever and watch and see what he does next. As for PE - if it is a permanent problem for him, he will be gutted. If it was the first time it happened, he will be mortified. It is always a big deal to men.

If he does not contact you before you next go to yoga, so be it. Brazen it out, nod ''hello'' and move on. You will have dodged a bullet and a horrible rude man, who is not worthy of you. 🌺

I’m with @RedlobsterJones on this. You’ve texted, he’s not replied. Whatever the reason, if he wanted to go forward he must know he has to communicate with you. So far he has chosen not to. It won’t ever get any better.

Tbh I do not know if I fully believe a man who said he had no condoms whatsoever when he invited a girl over he had known for a couple of months?

I'vwe had some be like it the first date OP.

Girl hope he replies and you sort things out, when he eventually replies be honest to him about your feelings, probs is embarrassed about yano, ejaculating for pretty much no reason. Am sure he'll message back at some point

Nope please don't text him again. Wait a week, you won't care. He has been very, very rude to not reply to your text.

Is pretty weird he has not communicated at all since you stayed over. I think I would have to message him and I'm find out what's going on one way or the other.

Did he 'help you out' sexually? Or just let you give him orgasms?

I texted him last - he should text me. PE or not!

^^ you've already texted him. I think it's really
Poor of him not to respond. I personally wouldn't message again out of principle.

Sorry that sounds frustrating for him to not have text at all today after you’ve sent a message. Hard to say why, nothing says other woman to me it sounds more like he has anxiety and is overthinking it but equally it doesn’t sound like you have been anything other than bright and breezy. Maybe he is having second thoughts about making himself vulnerable through dating, if he has issues with PE maybe he is beating himself up now it’s happened and telling himself no woman will ever like him so he’s ghosting you before you leave him.

Don’t text him! If he’s into you he would have text by now x

He probably just doesn’t know what to say. Whether to mention the PE or not, to apologise or not? He may well be overthinking the whole thing and not want to suggest another date in case you aren’t interested. For all you know this may have happened before and didn’t end well.

If I were you I would message him again in a day or two and just ask how he is and how things are going. If you want to see him again then say so ‘Fancy meeting up for a drink / meal some time?’ If he doesn’t respond to that then you have your answer.

Dating is brutal though and you do have to hold on lightly as who knows what goes on in people’s heads…?

He’s definitely going to text you, i feel it in me bones! But you need to pull him up on the delay in your response, ‘took your time!’ type thing so that you can get to the bottom of it next time you meet… 🤨 I’m guessing he is a bit spun out from the emotional intimacy and is scared. But this isn’t a good sign tbf!

That said, I did used to get suddenly sick of guys that went in a bit heavy if they stayed over (never sex), especially if they took too long to leave in the morning. Must’ve been a bit of a head fu’ck for the poor lambs but being too keen is never sexy!

I’m in the DON’T TEXT AGAIN camp, and agree he’s embarrassed by the PE. You sound genuinely lovely and deserving of someone who will treat you better. Hold your nerve and wait for a reply. If he doesn’t, fuck it. Of course it will hurt as you like him, but have the upper hand on this one.