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Original poster

I stayed over.

427 replies

hairtwirl · 23/05/2022 10:56

Third date on Saturday
He insisted I stayed over instead of Uber home - I was happy as night had gone well
No sex

Had been talking 6-8 weeks

He had worked away in the middle so did not see each other then

He said 'see you soon' when I left in the morning and all seemed fairly normal from my point of view. I left about 10am on Sunday

NC from him since I left. Did text yesterday to hope his work day had went well but no response

Bad sign?

For context he is a 'bad texter' and frequently leaves 12-24 hours with text replies and will respond something thoughful. I suppose I probably just feel sensitive as we cuddled and kissed the whole night - but we have never spoken about anything heavy / exclusive / had intercourse. I was happy with way things were going

I seen anti depressants in his bathroom which is no problem for me - but makes me think I should go easy on him and not jump to conclusions about his contact style

OP posts:
peridito · 24/05/2022 08:14

Both in your late 30s .

mosside · 24/05/2022 08:15

Oh sorry! My guess was based on nothing at all anyway

mosside · 24/05/2022 08:16

I think there is someone much better out there for you and I bet he doesn't even cum in his pants either

Lovemusic33 · 24/05/2022 08:18

That sounds very similar, when I’m with him he’s asking me to go away for a weekend with him, making plans, then I go home and I hear nothing from him. I just get on with my life and try not to get annoyed about it. If he’s interested then he should make it more obvious my messaging more and putting in some effort.

Original poster
hairtwirl · 24/05/2022 08:19

mosside · 24/05/2022 08:16

I think there is someone much better out there for you and I bet he doesn't even cum in his pants either

He kept making reference to how much busier and more successful I was than him. He also mentioned my earnings will be higher than his. I had not even thought about it.

OP posts:
butterpuffed · 24/05/2022 08:21

I think it's all down to the PE as you said he tried to hide that it'd happened. But if he's so embarrassed he can't even admit it rather than just put it down to just one of those things, then he really does have problems.

Minoloso · 24/05/2022 08:22

The more you write about him the more he sounds like a dud. If you see him at yoga please just smirk at him.

Original poster
hairtwirl · 24/05/2022 08:24

Lovemusic33 · 24/05/2022 08:18

That sounds very similar, when I’m with him he’s asking me to go away for a weekend with him, making plans, then I go home and I hear nothing from him. I just get on with my life and try not to get annoyed about it. If he’s interested then he should make it more obvious my messaging more and putting in some effort.

Well my friend genuinely does want to meet someone - and he is really really nice guy. It does not sound like it - I assure you his is. I have spoken at length to him about it. He gets genuinely triggered and anxious when intimacy increased (percieved or real) and sabotages. It stems from a terrible relationship (abusive) he had several years ago which he has not fully worked through.

If it is my friend hold on @Lovemusic33

OP posts:
Original poster
hairtwirl · 24/05/2022 08:25

butterpuffed · 24/05/2022 08:21

I think it's all down to the PE as you said he tried to hide that it'd happened. But if he's so embarrassed he can't even admit it rather than just put it down to just one of those things, then he really does have problems.

Honestly - I just made it out to be 'one of those things'. I was like 'it happens all the time to loads of guys' and I remember him saying 'really?'.

OP posts:
Original poster
hairtwirl · 24/05/2022 08:27

Minoloso · 24/05/2022 08:22

The more you write about him the more he sounds like a dud. If you see him at yoga please just smirk at him.

I think its because I am now trying to convince myself he is a dud because of how disappointing his behaviour has been since I stayed over. So now my brain is finding odd things he said to make it confirm the reality of the way he has acted post cuddle / PE date.

OP posts:
Original poster
hairtwirl · 24/05/2022 08:28

JESUS HE HAS JUST MESSAGED

OP posts:
Jaffasnake · 24/05/2022 08:34

hairtwirl · 24/05/2022 08:28

JESUS HE HAS JUST MESSAGED

What did he say?

medianewbie · 24/05/2022 08:35

My guess is it's the PE. He's very embarrassed.
HIS Qu is: can he face up to it & so continue to form a relationship or not?
YOUR Qu is: do you want to potentially be his (sex) therapist at this point?

medianewbie · 24/05/2022 08:35

x post....

tension mounts ...

Flyinggeese1234 · 24/05/2022 08:37

Hell0daisy · 24/05/2022 01:15

hope you have that draft message ready?? ❣️❣️

Why?!

Aurory · 24/05/2022 08:40

I've just read the whole thread (it reads like a novel). It would have seem Mr Darcy has bailed out but there's a plot twist!

What did he say? Hope he at least apologised for the radio silence.

Original poster
hairtwirl · 24/05/2022 08:41

@Jaffasnake

Not opened it yet. Not going to. Whats the point? If I continue this pantomime I will only be making another MN post next week. We are communicational incompatible.

OP posts:
Original poster
hairtwirl · 24/05/2022 08:41

Aurory · 24/05/2022 08:40

I've just read the whole thread (it reads like a novel). It would have seem Mr Darcy has bailed out but there's a plot twist!

What did he say? Hope he at least apologised for the radio silence.

A beautiful modern day love fable.

OP posts:
Lex345 · 24/05/2022 08:43

Why not open the message? If you don't want people to play games, don't play them yourself either. If you have decided against him, open the message and respond you don't think you are compatible.

MrsEricBana · 24/05/2022 08:45

Lex345 · 24/05/2022 08:43

Why not open the message? If you don't want people to play games, don't play them yourself either. If you have decided against him, open the message and respond you don't think you are compatible.

Definitely do this. Don't play him at his own game.

WimbyAce · 24/05/2022 08:46

Open the message!

mosside · 24/05/2022 08:46

YOU HAVE TO OPEN IT! If it's on WhatsApp you can open it without him knowing by going on airplane mode, just make sure you close the app before turning airplane mode back on

mosside · 24/05/2022 08:47

Yes open it and if you're already decided then just say ' this isn't going to work for me' then you're not playing games at yoga either

wellhelloitsme · 24/05/2022 08:48

EcafTnuc · 24/05/2022 06:36

Christ this could have been a much shorter thread and much less stress for you if you had have stopped the game playing and drama and just bloody text him for clarification. As PPs have said there could be lots of reasons he’s not text, mainly his general anxiety / anxiety about PE.

But then you wouldn’t have a massive thread on MN and fawning followers to revel in I suppose .

Are you ok? Do you feel better for typing that out?

Original poster
hairtwirl · 24/05/2022 08:50

mosside · 24/05/2022 08:46

YOU HAVE TO OPEN IT! If it's on WhatsApp you can open it without him knowing by going on airplane mode, just make sure you close the app before turning airplane mode back on

Omg. You utter genius

OP posts: