Dating thread 229: Traversing the world of dating

[SortingItOut]

The Rules:

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

Develop a thick skin.

Do not invest emotionally too soon.

It's all BS until it actually happens.

Trust your gut instinct.

People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

Know your worth.

If it's not fun, stop.

Loo update is mandatory.

No dating the thread.

Treat others as you'd like to be treated

Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@ibelieveinmirrorballs …you are right. Until you meet, you really don’t know. Good luck with new iron…it’s getting interesting in this thread!!

Thanks @Mila14 - do you have plans to see MrC again?

New iron update. Mr T…he wants to meet next week over weekend. Plus…he’s also busy with his family after divorce and likely to understand I enjoy time to myself and not into anything remotely heavy. He used to be a sportsman so probably can handle I’m a fitness semi addict. Let’s see how it goes…

@ibelieveinmirrorballs …of course. I’m seeing mr C. But I’m probably seeing mr T too 😂😂…let’s see how I organise my time.

Thank you for explaining, @Mila14 , @JangolinaPitt , @hotnakedgelato , @MayEye ! It's reassuring that I don't absolutely have to use my real name in the profile.
Does this apply even to Tinder? Doesn't it link to your Facebook account somehow? How does that work? (I'm paranoid about privacy.) Can Tinder matches see your Facebook profile photo, for example? Mine shows my children, so I definitely wouldn't want that.

Don’t link your Facebook or anything personal to your profile. You can opt out @Bananapants2022 . Privacy is important specially with our kids

I use my middle name now, I have had guys from apps I haven't matched with find my fb from name and location. V creepy tbh.

Wow Ruby… that’s horrible!!! No match should mean 0 contact

You aren't using any photos on your OLD profile that could be traced back to you via a Google image search? For example, FB profile or cover photo or any other photo that's on your profile but not secured as friends only?

Absolutely agree. On bumble and tinder a lot of men link to their Instagram. It's so easy to check that and then do a pretty thorough background check on them. Can find their LI, companies house records, all sorts.

My profile has my real name but it's quite common and I've used a different spelling. Also non of my OLD profile pics are on my SM. I've also done a check on all my SM and licked it all down. I've even googled myself to check what comes up and fixed a couple of things.

I know 😩😩 And yes, I did have some on apps which were on fb profile pics, but I have now taken new ones and removed those as they were a bit old anyway.

Note: companies house records often provide an address.

Good lord…I don’t want to get paranoid but I will say this… I check my dates on linked in before meeting them 😊

I've been stood up, cancelled 10 minutes before meeting for a 2nd date, apparently karting with mates has run over and wants to take a raincheck! Tempted to just block and move on 🙄

Oh that’s not nice @Lollysticks12
I think that’s a pathetic excuse and I would also move on.

Yes, I'd like to do of a good bit of internet stalking before meeting someone. When I think about it, it seems impossible to eliminate risks completely. How do you trust people enough to meet up with them, go for walks, eventually visit each other's homes etc?

@TwinklingFairyLights ** Those are great points, thank you. Especially the reverse image search.

Oh no? Who was this iron? That’s just bad manners

@Lollysticks12 …I just reread your posts…this is the dodgy guy who did not say he was a smoker in his profile ?and also wanted to pick you up from your home?…block away Lolly

@Mila14 yep that's the guy, he wants to re schedule but I think I'm just going to send a I don't see this going anywhere message

i have a delicate question, I’ve been reading the thread about should men with ED date - and it’s a pretty tough to read for a person with a penis.
Anyhow, back at Easter Ms H & myself had a weekend together and while I don’t generally suffer from ED there was an occurrence when we looking to go for “round 2”, and I do realise I’m 52 not 22, so this will probably happen more.

Anyhow I know some of the other ppl on this thread are around my age, so do you think it will be an issue for me now with Ms H ( or someone else), I’m a “once a night “, man ?
it has got me a bit more worried than perhaps I should be ?

Yes I would do this. That's a lame excuse!

@Lollysticks12 I'd not see him again.
Why arrange a date straight after other plans which could overrun especially things with mates which can overrun.
Smacks of being disorganised (and disrespectful)to me especially messaging only 10mins before you were due to meet, he would know you would be ready way before that.

I wonder if you'd said Yes to being picked up whether he would have still gone on the date.....he might have thought sex was on the cards.

@Lollysticks12 I'd not see him again.
Why arrange a date straight after other plans which could overrun especially things with mates which can overrun.
Smacks of being disorganised (and disrespectful)to me especially messaging only 10mins before you were due to meet, he would know you would be ready way before that.

I wonder if you'd said Yes to being picked up whether he would have still gone on the date.....he might have thought sex was on the cards.

@HowlongWillThisTakeNow All women are different, some will be fine with once a night others won't be.
Why don't you speak to Ms H and ask her?

How are things with you both?
Did she reply to your text about the wedding?