Dating thread 229: Traversing the world of dating

[SortingItOut]

The Rules:

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

Develop a thick skin.

Do not invest emotionally too soon.

It's all BS until it actually happens.

Trust your gut instinct.

People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

Know your worth.

If it's not fun, stop.

Loo update is mandatory.

No dating the thread.

Treat others as you'd like to be treated

Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future

OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@Thisisworsethananticpated … I knew you would go back with Balkan. We all have our times and you can’t leave him right now. This is a personal thing. I’ve been there with my ex and kept seeing him, having out of this world sex and great time and retreating to the cave. It’s difficult. Sometimes you find someone who’s just above the rest even if he gives you agro. Take it easy and hopefully you both can ride this period together

@Shunter350

We were talking about people expecting the perfect match on OLD and the article is about the random / small things that put people off their dates.

Oh lordy i have a big update!
MR TURK AND I JUST SMILED AT EACH OTHER
😍
hehe!!

Who?? Is this a new iron??

Update… not sure about MrC… we have too little in common I think…I guess I will have a look around for iron material 😂😂😂. I don’t feel he’s the one but he’s quite ok. I’m just missing sharing stuff in common . I’m not into hunting and Wellie boots

He’s back 😄😄
ButterflyOfShay

Yes. My original point stands. Are we too fussy? In the olden days the "ick" was tolerated?
On the flip side of course, is why should we tolerate it?
But as one gets older there is a bigger chance of encountering the ick as a potential iron has had more time for it to become entrenched.

@Shunter350

I agree and I think it's down to clever marketing that makes us think we can have that perfect match.

Yay for Mr Turk's return @ButterflyOfShay 😍

Mila14

so will you take a pause ? You feeling ok abiut it all ?

I want to keep my options open @Thisisworsethananticpated … I’m a culture freak. We haven’t got much in common Mr C and I , and I can’t get over the super partying and rich posh people debauchery. I don’t know…it all feels a bit flaky
I’ve started looking around 🙄… other possibilities and new iron

Aww thanks! No @Mila14 this is a guy who lives in my town who there’s a bit of a spark with for ages now. A high street hotty, if you will.

I cant believe we actually finally smiled at each other! He was looking at me walking up the road and we both smiled at the same time! It’s about time though. I’ve been on a high all day 😅
Have to see what this week brings now!

😘😘😍 thanks sweetie! X

@ButterflyOfShay …I hope Mr Turk gets your mobile phone next 😂😂😂…action needed!!

He won't ever stop.

I wouldn't like the dishonesty. He purposely put he was a non smoker to get women to match with him and then once you were a bit invested, knew he had to come clean because you'd notice it on the date. That's sly and a red flag for me.

Wanting to pick you up and drive you somewhere is a red flag to me as well. Even if he has no bad intentions, he should be aware of why most women would not be comfortable with that. Shows a lack of empathy and thoughtfulness.

I definitely wouldn't be meeting this guy again but perhaps I am more cautious than most.

@ButterflyOfShay love this update!!!

Mr S and I have planned a little trip for next weekend. I was considering buying a cool box for the trip and then the one I wanted sold out. He has now taken it upon himself to get a cool box so that I am not troubled. He seems absolutely determined to be as nice and helpful as possible.

@hotnakedgelato …Mr S is wonderful. Enjoy a lot. Allow yourself a bit of happiness and horniness!!

Thanks @hotnakedgelato 🍦🔥 so sweet you’re going on a trip together! What will you be doing? Are you going abroad? x

I tried to post this yesterday but it posted some random shit so I had to get it deleted.

So I'll hi everyone,it's been a while(slightly different name again). I've had a pretty shit year, injury which meant I was forced to stop all exercise including walking, a dear friend dying and my Dad getting cancer. I couldn't escape to do the things that I would have done to keep me straight and level, stuck indoors my mental health took a battering.

Mr Cricket got the brunt of my paranoia, and had no clue what was going on. I didn't hear from him for two months and actually thought he had ghosted but he never blocked and always read no matter how crazy and weird the messages got. I don't blame him and don't hold any ill feelings for him doing that(he had no idea).

Then I saw him out in April and decided after much fretting to message. I felt I had damaged our friendship for good so honestly didn't expect him to reply. I opened up to him and told him about how being injured had affected my mental health. That was a massive thing for me, I feel very vulnerable telling him that but I think he's one of the good ones and I trust him. Part of the new me is opening up to people even if it's alien to me.

Needless to say we are back in touch and have a couple of things planned, a bike ride (his suggestion), the cinema to see Top Gun 2 (my suggestion, I know I asked a pilot to come and watch a film about pilots 🤣). He messaged yesterday in fact.

After finding out Computer Geek was a liar who couldn't be honest even about his name I've deleted absolutely everything to do with him and he has no way of contacting me. It feels good.

I'm also getting my divorce sorted this year. It seems my breakdown was just the trigger to get myself sorted out. As I said to Mr Cricket the old/new me is well on her way back.

I hope everyone is well.

@ButterflyOfShay how was Ibiza?

@Itisreallymee …well done on putting a hard year behind you. I think you did the right thing by showing your vulnerability. I’m a great believer on communicating to that level with a person you really want to have a relationship with. Enjoy your dates 😊

Hey @Itisreallymee 👋 so sorry to hear the bad time you’ve had. Ibiza was perfection! Are you still going in July?

@ButterflyOfShay yes, am counting the days down. Will be just what is needed after the past 4 months. Paying for that was stressful and ended up with me in tears on the phone to the travel company as it just wasn't going through. How's Mr Turk?

@Mila14 thank you 🙂 its a big thing for me showing my vulnerability. It could have gone one of two ways and I honestly had no idea whether he'd reply and I had just opened up to someone who wasn't good.

Itisreallymee
i remember you !
I’m sorry it’s been a tough year though
same this end
onward we hope xxxx

Hey @Thisisworsethananticpated definitely onwards. I hope things get better for you too. Xxx