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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is this funny? Do I have no sense of humour?

171 replies

PilatesPeach · 18/05/2022 11:11

Been seeing a chap - he is rather impatient, brusque. For example, I have said on a number of occasions that it is normal in my experience, when couples meet up to do something or go somewhere (when they do not live together), that they would say hello and have a kiss or hug. Many people even do this with friends nowadays. Not something to be expected according to him and not a big deal - he said the other day that as we'd already spoken that day on the phone, why did I expect him to give me a kiss hello and say hi when we met up later that day. Instead he just asked me if I was ready and "let's go".

Then today - speaking on the phone, was saying how (and I appreciate I am generalising) that many women like non-sexual affection and that this contributes towards them wanting to have sex. I said some blokes can have sex with someone they don't like as they can overall be more sexually orientated whereas for many women this would not be the case to which he replied "yes I know they can as that's what I've been doing with you" and then said afterwards "joke - it's a joke, where's your sense of humour?"
I have a fantastic sense of humour - everyone who knows me says I am hilarious and should do stand up - did my sense of humour fail me this time or is he just a total dickhead? That is the way I am leaning! I have a self-deprecating sense of humour too - his humour is always aimed at me never at himself.

OP posts:
TokyoTen · 18/05/2022 16:06

It's not funny. But you also sound exasperating too!

CarpeVitam · 18/05/2022 16:14

Please come back OP to let us know when you have dumped his sorry arse! 😑

PupInAPram · 18/05/2022 16:15

This is a mumsnet first for me but, LTB! Bin. Him. Off.

LisaSimpson77 · 18/05/2022 16:51

Urgh I loathe the "but I was only joking, you're too sensitive" line when you've said something nasty or unpleasant. That sort of thing would have me out of the door in a shot!

Also, he just doesn't seem like he's meeting your needs and making you happy. Is there a reason why you haven't already thrown this one back op?

Namechange20222 · 18/05/2022 17:06

He sounds like he lacks emotional intelligence and has very cheap ‘humour’. There are many single men around who would not act in this way. On to the next , OP.

layladomino · 18/05/2022 17:13

As a PP said, his 'joke' might be funny if he was obviously smitten with you, and you both know that he adores you. Otherwise of course it isn't remotely funny.

His inability to say Hello when he sees you?!
His inability to show affection.
His baffoonish jokes
The negging
The dismissing your concerns when you raise them and telling you you're wrong...

... all reasons to dump. And you don't have to explain why. Just be glad you didn't spend any more of your time on him.

badhappening · 18/05/2022 17:39

Raise your standards.
This one's an arsehole.

DeskInUse · 18/05/2022 17:45

Urghhh he sounds awful. If this is him being nice in the honeymoon period, imagine how awful he'll be when he's comfortable in the relationship

DogsAndGin · 18/05/2022 18:01

It’s not funny because it wasn’t a joke. He meant it, and attempted to backtrack.

BOOTS52 · 18/05/2022 20:35

Tell him also that it is hard to have sex with his big belly in the way and his little penis does not help matters and then say bye and block the dickhead

billy1966 · 18/05/2022 21:16

badhappening · 18/05/2022 17:39

Raise your standards.
This one's an arsehole.

This.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 19/05/2022 08:00

BellePeppa · 18/05/2022 12:51

When you look back and wished you left earlier, this is that moment. Best to end it now.

This

Run for the hills!

Red flags... Specifically when you have asked him to stop and he's continued the negging /crappy 'jokes'.

He won't improve... Or if he does it will be for a week.

PilatesPeach · 19/05/2022 20:22

Thanks for all your messages.

I find it incredible being told I am hard work or exasperating because I would like a hello even - as though when you do not co-habit and arrive at someone's house, it should be normal to expect to be ignored some of the time. Most of the messages are very helpful thank you but there is a minority who really do seem to enjoy being quite mean to be honest. Making out that someone wanting manners and common courtesy make me hard work or needy or exasperating. Cheers.

OP posts:
EmmaH2022 · 19/05/2022 20:34

Oh OP, just ignore the craziness

please tell us you finished with him.

StillWeRise · 19/05/2022 20:40

dump him and tell him exactly why, then block him

User3568975431146 · 19/05/2022 20:48

He's an idiot.

MrsBlaue · 19/05/2022 20:58

I wouldn’t have found the “joke” funny either. He sounds a delight

2bazookas · 19/05/2022 21:12

He's just rude and mannerless. Don't expect him to change.

SeedyBloomer · 19/05/2022 21:38

It’s not you - it’s him. I’d dump him for the wide load comments alone. His SOH is shit and insulting.

Badbaddog · 19/05/2022 22:27

The best way to tell if something is a joke is if anyone laughs. You didn’t. It wasn’t.

he sounds rude, entitled and cruel. Tell him he’s dumped. Then say ‘Joke!’ See how he likes it.

Vikinga · 19/05/2022 22:56

He's not even remotely funny. He sounds like a boring cold idiot. Bin him off.

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