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Original poster

Inappropriate behaviour from a guy I am seeing?

312 replies

Charliec12 · 17/05/2022 22:14

I have been seeing a guy for 6 months now we are taking things slow and not official. He gets anger issues and has depression and drinking does not help. Last weekend we were at his ex girlfriend’s house for a bbq (he is still good friends with her). Anyway the ex girlf split up with her new partner that evening and he moved out. The partner who moved out blames the guy I am seeing for it all as he is good friends with this girl still and the guy I am seeing goes round there a lot still. Anyway I found out the next day that to wind the partner up who had moved out that night the guy I am seeing had decided to send messages to the partner about what he was doing in bed to his ex girlf who is also the guy I am seeing’s ex girlf too. I got sent the screenshots sadly. This is out of order isn’t it from the guy I am seeing even though we are not official? He was very drunk and said he did it to wind the ex partner up who had just split up with the girl. The partner I am seeing has not apologised to me about it either

OP posts:
Idontgiveashitanymore · 18/05/2022 10:16

He’s a twat. Get rid. You deserve better .

Original poster
Charliec12 · 18/05/2022 10:17

Shelby2010 · 18/05/2022 10:12

Get rid. And have a long hard look at why you’ve stuck with him this long. Lots of women get sucked into trying to rescue a ‘troubled man who can only be saved by the love of a good woman’. It’s bollocks.

Yes agreed people need to help themselves. I told him recently he needs help for his coke addiction and he hasn’t spoken to me since I said that Monday but has seen my messages

OP posts:
KettrickenSmiled · 18/05/2022 10:17

He gets anger issues and has depression and drinking does not help.

Yeah, nobody needs to read beyond your second sentence OP.
LTB.

Then sort out some intensive therapy as a matter of urgency, because your standards are in the gutter & you desperately need help in working on your self-esteem.

Original poster
Charliec12 · 18/05/2022 10:19

KettrickenSmiled · 18/05/2022 10:17

He gets anger issues and has depression and drinking does not help.

Yeah, nobody needs to read beyond your second sentence OP.
LTB.

Then sort out some intensive therapy as a matter of urgency, because your standards are in the gutter & you desperately need help in working on your self-esteem.

Thanks he came off his anti depressants in April and turned in to an angry awful person

OP posts:
thecurtainsofdestiny · 18/05/2022 10:21

Why be with someone who has anger issues and enjoys goading people?

KettrickenSmiled · 18/05/2022 10:24

I am not sure why the guy I was seeing kept going round there when he knew her ex didn’t like it

Nobody is sure why YOU are seeing the guy & keep going with him ...

OP you need to ditch this loser - & all the volatile people around him - from your life.
You need to divorce your husband, focus on your children & career, & rebuild your life.
You need to not date AT ALL for at least a year, while having copious therapy to help you understand why you are associating with coke fiends & tolerating the kind of drama your current social circle seems to thrive on.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 18/05/2022 10:29

You say "I am on off in my marriage and with this guy as friends more really not sex, but yes it has got worse than when I last posted"

So it's 'got worse' than shagging man who is a cokehead with anger issues who (based on this and other threads) lives at home, plays video games all day, takes money from you and is horrible to you?

OP seriously what on earth are you thinking?

Everyone told you six weeks ago that it was madness and irresponsible to keep seeing a man like this.

Divorce your husband.
Get therapy.
Focus on your daughters, one of whom is just a baby.

Inthesameboatatmo · 18/05/2022 10:40

Thought i had a deja vu.
How many times are you going to post tyle same shit worded differently op. Leave this wank satin and get therapy for the sake of the kids if not for you.
Sit down and write a plan bit by bit and go with it. Little by little sorting your life out for the better . Stay single in that time fgs.

Inthesameboatatmo · 18/05/2022 10:41

Wank stain ffs*.
Don't know where wank satin came from 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

gianaInfertilitySucks · 18/05/2022 10:46

He sounds toxic. Get out of the situation now that it still early.

lancsgirl85 · 18/05/2022 10:49

Last weekend we were at his ex girlfriend’s house for a bbq (he is still good friends with her).

he is good friends with this girl still and the guy I am seeing goes round there a lot still

He is definitely still shagging her. Get rid.

Original poster
Charliec12 · 18/05/2022 10:51

lancsgirl85 · 18/05/2022 10:49

Last weekend we were at his ex girlfriend’s house for a bbq (he is still good friends with her).

he is good friends with this girl still and the guy I am seeing goes round there a lot still

He is definitely still shagging her. Get rid.

It is really odd he goes round there to see her when her bloke is there a really strange thing to do

OP posts:
Original poster
Charliec12 · 18/05/2022 10:53

Inthesameboatatmo · 18/05/2022 10:41

Wank stain ffs*.
Don't know where wank satin came from 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

That was amusing though, yeah I calmed it down tbh from that last post and we stayed friends but met up for this bbq last weekend and it got really silly there

OP posts:
lancsgirl85 · 18/05/2022 10:54

OP why did you agree to go to his ex's bbq in the first place?! I'd have fucked that shit so far off you wouldn't have seen me for dust. They are never "just friends" with their exes who they still "go round to see". Never.

lancsgirl85 · 18/05/2022 10:56

I've just read all the rest about the drugs and the fact he's not even a good shag. Urgh. Bin that right off and start from scratch! What do you see in him?

CPL593H · 18/05/2022 10:57

Are you still living with your husband and is he aware of the other man and the associated dramas?

Honestly OP, you shouldn't need telling. This guy is a total waste of space with nothing to offer you apart from stress. You would be far better off working on how to end your marriage properly if you are unhappy. Try to save yourself, not some cokehead drunk who has zero respect for you.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 18/05/2022 10:58

You've got kids OP. Stop being even 'friends' with aggressive cokeheads who have anger problems, want to beat people up, ask you for money and ghost you.

He's laughing at you with her. This is madness.

Your husband doesn't know about him I assume?

Original poster
Charliec12 · 18/05/2022 11:00

lancsgirl85 · 18/05/2022 10:54

OP why did you agree to go to his ex's bbq in the first place?! I'd have fucked that shit so far off you wouldn't have seen me for dust. They are never "just friends" with their exes who they still "go round to see". Never.

Because the ex wanted to meet me and as she is his best friend I agreed to it for him

OP posts:
Original poster
Charliec12 · 18/05/2022 11:00

youvegottenminuteslynn · 18/05/2022 10:58

You've got kids OP. Stop being even 'friends' with aggressive cokeheads who have anger problems, want to beat people up, ask you for money and ghost you.

He's laughing at you with her. This is madness.

Your husband doesn't know about him I assume?

Hubbie knows I have a friend who is depressed yes

OP posts:
Original poster
Charliec12 · 18/05/2022 11:02

CPL593H · 18/05/2022 10:57

Are you still living with your husband and is he aware of the other man and the associated dramas?

Honestly OP, you shouldn't need telling. This guy is a total waste of space with nothing to offer you apart from stress. You would be far better off working on how to end your marriage properly if you are unhappy. Try to save yourself, not some cokehead drunk who has zero respect for you.

Yes and he is also aware I have a friend I see sometimes who has depression

OP posts:
CanofCant · 18/05/2022 11:06

He's not your friend though if you are having (albeit shit) sex with him. People talk and I agree your children will be affected by your unhappiness and this unstable situation more than you realise.

CanofCant · 18/05/2022 11:09

You sound really passive, you went to this BBQ because he's best friends with her? It's all such a mess.

What is the ideal life you want to lead and how can you achieve that? You're floundering and you can't afford to do that when you have two small children.

Original poster
Charliec12 · 18/05/2022 11:13

CanofCant · 18/05/2022 11:09

You sound really passive, you went to this BBQ because he's best friends with her? It's all such a mess.

What is the ideal life you want to lead and how can you achieve that? You're floundering and you can't afford to do that when you have two small children.

Yep he wanted me to meet his friends and I have already met some of his family too. I did it to impressive him as he wanted me to go with him but it has caused so many issues. He has told me he has not slept with his ex but hasn’t spoken to me since Monday apart from being curt to me. He is not talking as he is angry and will say something rude to me unless he cuts off

OP posts:
CanofCant · 18/05/2022 11:15

This drama cannot be helping your self worth or esteem. You need to focus on yourself and your children but I don't think you're there yet.

CPL593H · 18/05/2022 11:18

Charliec12 · 18/05/2022 11:02

Yes and he is also aware I have a friend I see sometimes who has depression

Show quote history

Sorry OP, but "aware I have a friend I see sometimes who has depression" is very different to being aware that you have feelings for him and have had a sexual relationship (however infrequent and poor)