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Original poster

Escorts and drugs

129 replies

suchasadcliche · 08/05/2022 23:58

I'm fucking heartbroken. Found dozens of messages to escorts on my husbands phone today. Literally dozens. He's had one in our house whilst my children were asleep upstairs. He's admitted shagging one of them - obviously he will have been with many more, probably going back years. Calling them to bring coke with them.

My youngest isn't even 2.

He's crying now begging me to forgive him. Apparently he just needed to hit rock bottom and this is his rock bottom. What a fucking twat. I told him to leave but he hasn't got anywhere to go so is on the sofa thinking we will see day by day.

He's contrite at the moment, when he's not snivelling. No doubt the anger will start tomorrow.

Anyhow, I'm starting this thread because I need to be strong and not let him weasel his way back into my life.

OP posts:
user75 · 09/05/2022 00:03

That is terrible OP, I am so sorry.

spotcheck · 09/05/2022 00:03

He's sorry he's been caught.
Thus ends his cake/eating it lifestyle.

When you feel yourself weaken ('for the kids') remember that HE had zero respect for their mother.

ThePoint678 · 09/05/2022 00:07

Wow. I’m so sorry OP. You deserve so much more.

SnottyWitch · 09/05/2022 00:08

So sorry darling sending you a big hug. That is fucking awful what a cunt. He needs to go, let him sofa surf somewhere else. Get yourself checked out. He’s put you and the kids at risk. Do you have support from friends and family?

AnyFucker · 09/05/2022 00:15

He doesn’t have too far to “weasel” if he is still on the sofa

Tell everyone what he has done and get him the fuck out of your house

MardyOldGoth · 09/05/2022 00:19

Bastard! If he can afford coke and escorts he can afford a Travelodge! 👋

Lots of love to you OP. What an awful thing you're going through! 💐

Original poster
suchasadcliche · 09/05/2022 00:23

I messaged 2 of his friends and his mum and dad to tell them what he had done.

Easy to say about weaselling but I've got children at home including teenagers and he wouldn't just go. I've told him we are getting divorced though.

I literally feel sick.

OP posts:
LadyLolaRuben · 09/05/2022 00:24

He's had escorts, drugs and sex in your home while your little ones are in the house? Never mind the betrayal and lies. Get the bustard out and get yourself a STI test. I'm so sorry OP but there's no way back from this

Original poster
suchasadcliche · 09/05/2022 00:32

My children are all beside themselves. My 10 year old realised what was going on (obviously he doesn't know about prostitutes) and told me that my
Husband had the tinder app. He's literally broken my heart. H told my older boy that I was angry with him because he had been messaging other women.

He actually said to me that if the boot was on the other foot he would just have to suck it up. Except the boot isn't on the other foot because I'm not a dirty skank.

OP posts:
WandaWomblesaurus · 09/05/2022 00:50

Make sure you screenshot all the evidence.
Try and breathe.
You will get through this.

Original poster
suchasadcliche · 09/05/2022 00:57

What do I need the evidence for? I have screenshotted loss of it but do I actually need it?

OP posts:
MardyOldGoth · 09/05/2022 01:02

He actually said to me that if the boot was on the other foot he would just have to suck it up.

Wow, he sounds really sorry for what he's done! He'd just suck it up - as if!

Fizzyfish · 09/05/2022 02:51

So sorry op, how awful. I can't imagine a way back from that. Hope you have plenty of support.

Daisyblush · 09/05/2022 08:08

You are Doing the right thing imo.

LadyLolaRuben · 09/05/2022 08:31

Like hell he would be sucking up lies, cheating and prostitution. It makes it worse that your children are aware. They are watching how he behaves and how you react. It will leave a great impression regarding how to treat others, whether such behaviour is acceptable and also your views about yourself and him. This is terrible OP, sorry you're going through this but the situation is clean cut for me, your husband has left no grey areas to manoeuvre this into a recovery position. Id get him out the house today, its not your problem where he goes

DFOD · 09/05/2022 08:38

Calmly insist that his parents / friends take him out of the family home.

This is more than a betrayal - it’s a safeguarding issue for all of your young children.

He needs to face the consequences of his actions. He is an addict (sex/coke) and will still be using.

Who do you have to support you IRL?

Hop27 · 09/05/2022 08:49

Tell him calmly that he needs to leave today. If he won't leave call his parents to collect him, that you can't risk having him around your children (or yourself for that matter). Oh god OP, I feel sick for you. You are better and stronger than that excuse for a man, let alone your husband.

courtrai · 09/05/2022 08:58

I'm so sorry - this is absolutely horrendous

First of transfer as much money as you need out of joint funds into your own. Then I'd arrange for a locksmith to change all locks. Get someone there to support you and bag up his personal effects, I'd suggest a member of family (ideally male). He absolutely must leave. Personally I'd threaten to tell absolutely everyone if he doesn't. Further than that I would not engage in any conversation with the man

After that contact solicitor for advice but first you need to get rid of him to give yourself some breathing space

thunderandsunshine01 · 09/05/2022 09:35

To prove infidelity in divorce

balalake · 09/05/2022 09:45

Sorry to say I doubt if he has had sex with only one.

Sooner out of the house the better.

notapizzaeater · 09/05/2022 09:47

He's made himself hit rock bottom - what a lowlife ! You need to get an STI check 😤😭

itsmeagainlol · 09/05/2022 09:49

No coming back from that. Start looking at divorcing the shit.

Original poster
suchasadcliche · 09/05/2022 10:32

No support really. I've arranged to meet a friend later but it's all so fucking shameful. I literally can't stop crying. His mums being nice for the moment - he admitted it all to her. But ultimately that is her son so In the end she'll side with him. Fucking bastard.

My parents are both dead and I'm an only child.

He's literally ruined our lives. I work full time and he had me run ragged on Friday because my car was in the garage and he apparently had work calls. I had to stop work at 2.30 to walk to the garage and then I collected all 5 of my children from 3 different schools / nursery, fed everyone, took to clubs, picked up from clubs, bathed the younger ones, read stories and then logged back on and didn't finish work until gone midnight (he was no where to be seen). From looking at his phone he had no fucking work calls at all. Just escort appointments.

I know he has to go. I hate him for what he has done. I'm so fucking sad. Sad for me, sad for who he used to be, sad for our children. So fucking pointless. I feel so sick, I haven't eaten anything at all since Saturday.

OP posts:
Original poster
suchasadcliche · 09/05/2022 10:35

I had sex with him on Saturday morning so currently trying to get an appointment at the sexual health clinic.

OP posts:
anotherdisaster · 09/05/2022 10:36

OP I am so so sorry. I hope you find the strength to get him out. There can be no coming back from this. He is an utter low life and you deserve so much better. I can't even imagine how you must be feeling. For your own sanity, he needs to leave. Do you own your home?