This is such a weird update. You can’t actually convert your civil partnership into a marriage OP, that’s only available for same sex couples. So you’d have to get the civil partnership, then dissolve it (how are you going to explain doing that to officials when your relationship hasn’t broken down?) and then marry? What a lot of faff and expense with a child in tow when you could have just married in the first place. What’s the actual point?
similar to you, we wanted to TTC without delay due to health issues and age, however we wanted to be married by the time a baby arrived. We had no interest in a fancy wedding so we got engaged at 5m pregnant and married at 7m pregnant. Engaged for seven weeks. The day after the proposal we rang the register office and sorted it. DH did do a fancy proposal bless him but I honestly couldn’t have cared less if he hadn’t, as lovely as it was. We just wanted to be married.
How is it going to feel rocking up to the register office for a civil partnership when you know it’s gonna mean he will now delay marriage forever, citing that ‘we’re already legally bound what’s the difference’ or ‘what’s the point in dissolving just to marry?’. You’ll actually be further away from marriage than you are now. I’m so sorry you’ve accepted a bread crumb rather than asserting your needs as the mother of his child and long term girlfriend. It may feel like a hollow victory but come on, what’s he playing it?
the perfectionist argument is bonkers and an absolute insult to your entire intelligence, I’d be infuriated if someone said that and expected me to believe it. He’s had six years to get a ring and plan something, knowing that you’d say yes as you want to be married. I’ve known friends get engaged over a takeaway watching tv and be thrilled. It’s a convenient excuse as he gets to pretend that the reason he hasn’t proposed is because he values proposing to you soooo much it just has to be perfect. Bullshit. I’m embarrassed for you, frankly.
on the topic of how terrible it is that we don’t have the rights bestowed by marriage automatically applied through cohabitation: thank goodness. Marriage is available to all for a couple hundred pounds and means you have to opt in to a legal responsibility to your partner. It would be disastrous if people couldn’t live with partners without becoming de facto married. It’s a huge decision that must be taken proactively. The government benefits given to people who are married upon the death of a spouse are only given to married people because in the eyes of the law and government, married couples are family. Marriage has nothing to do with romance, that’s a very recent concept. It’s declaring to the state and the law that you are officially, legally family. Give those benefits to anyone who can claim to be a girlfriend or boyfriend and it gets muddy. You’re married or you’re not. It’d be very difficult to prove who is eligible otherwise.
what’s stopping you from telling him you want to be married before the baby arrives? Tell him it’s time to cut the crap, you’re already engaged because he’s said he wants to marry you and you feel the same, so forget a proposal and let’s just book the ceremony. You can get nice wedding rings and forgo an engagement ring. Loads of people I know just wear a wedding ring now anyway.