How to crush a crush?

[FuzzyFanny]

I have a crush. It’s ridiculous. He’s 22. I’m 36.

We met last year at a gym. It’s a spit and sawdust-type gym where people just rock up and train. We’d often be there at the same time. Around November, we started pairing. Well, he started training me really. He doesn’t work there, he’s not touting for business.

I didn’t fancy him at first. Then something happened a few months ago. I have no idea what happened. It's like a switch went on and now I’m like a bloody schoolgirl.

The training we do is very physical. We touch a lot. It gives me fanny gallops. We flirt a little bit. Nothing too heavy. Most of the men are quite flirty but its ‘banter’ (hate hate that word) rather than actually looking for more. Heaviest it got with Crush Man was last week – he was showing me how to move my hips. My bum was close to his groin. He said “Jesus, I better stop this” and walked off sort of puffing out his cheeks like he was flustered. My minge nearly fucking exploded.

22 and 36 is inappropriate. I don’t want to ruin our training relationship and friendship. I need to crush the crush. How?

I can’t really avoid the gym without good reason. I mean because we train together, I’d have to tell him that I’m not around for a while. And I can’t say “I’m going to be away for a month because I can’t cope with how badly I want to sit on your face”.

I don’t actually want to avoid the gym though. It’s not a regular gym, I can’t just go to another one. And I love it. I really do love the training. I love the gym. I love everyone there (some more than others obviously!!). I just need to crush this ridiculous thing. How?

I should've said that I am single. So don't come at me with the old "How would you feel in your DP was saying this about a 22-year old woman?"

It won't bloody work.

sorry OP I'm going to be absolutely useless and say do it (or rather, him) - all sounds quite fun and harmless to me! are you the type of person who can "do" casual?

Think of him on the shitter.

If you are both grown ups, both single, you don't need to crush the crush. It's fun. You are allowed fun. There's no rule that says an age gap will lead to you being social outcast and moral leper.

You are all very useless and unhelpful

I'm not very good as casual. I always intend to be but then I get pulled in and find myself hurtling towards a relationship.

In part I worry that taking it further would upset the relationship we have now. I don't want to lose him as a friend and training partner.

I had an age-gap relationship when I was younger. I was 19 and he was 38. I know me and Crush Man are slightly closer in age. And that 22 is quite different from 19. But I look back on that relationship and just think "ew, why?"

Just shag 'im- it's not that big of a deal.

Joan collins dh is 30 years younger than her - they look fabulous together! 😂

If you're both single I don't think the age gap is too prohibitive for a fling 🤷

It does rather sound like he would like you to sit on his face though.

I guess you don't want to shag him a few times and then it fizzles out and then you feel awkward etc. Or that you fall for him and it doesn't go anywhere. Tricky. You could talk to him. Tell him he is very flirty and that you don't want to ruin things. Or you need to get another bloke and then you wont be tempted.

I'm not sure it's actually heading in the direction of a fling, one-off sex, casual or anything. We flirt a little bit but that's the kind of vibe of the gym. Neither of us have ever attempted to move to the next level.

Then just enjoy the flirty friendship for what it is. It makes it all the more fun.

Sorry, I posted before I read this.

I'm not sure he does want me to sit on his face, or anything else. So last week he did that really flirty thing. But then we went back to normal.

Most of the time, can be a little flirty but that's the kind of vibe of the gym - it's very male-dominated. I'm one of only about five women who go. So there's lots of 'banter'.

I'm not sure I could talk to him about it. I don't think saying "You're really flirty" would be a good idea because he's not overly flirty and I'm the same going back at him.

Just ride it out. !!!

It will fade. Yes he might be lovely to look at, but sooner or later he's going to say something that will belie his age and the light in you will go off. I used to fancy my gym coach. He was assigned to me. We ended up friends but my crush on him died when he said something to reveal how different we were. He still had a lovely physique tho.

I think you need to realise that grown ups sometimes have sexual feelings they don't want, and make changes to their lives accordingly according to what they want to happen next. Teenagers labour under the tortures of crushes they don't know how to deal with.

Work out what you want, and either move towards or away from him. You're throwing yourself at something and then suffering because you're near it. There are options open to you like training at a different time, buddy up with someone else, tell him you've been dating someone lately so he'll back off, tell him he's in your space too much etc. Lots of options for creating distance.

Either shag him or decide you’re never going to and try to imagine he’s like the boyfriend of a friend or something - out of bounds.

and (nicely) get more fun in your life. If you were getting into a real relationship you wouldn’t be feeling like this. Good luck!

Thank you!

@something2say I think its more likely that I'll say something that will belie my age and he'll be like "Christ almighty, she's old as fuck"

@Watchkeys Your points about moving towards/away are spot on. Not thought about it like that.

@BowerOfBramble I know you meant it nicely but, honestly, my life is really fun. I don't want a relationship. I have wonderful friends, great hobbies, a lovely homes, a job I enjoy. A lovely gym coach. It's just my fanny's got a mind of her own!

Yeah, ride it out, but not in the way @something2say means. You might get your heart broken and/or be horribly disappointed or end up looking like a right tit, but any of those things can happen anyway. And besides, your nearly exploding minge is God’s way of saying that this is not merely okay, but recommended.

Honestly, as someone in the throes of a painful and unfortunately mutual crush where absolutely nothing can happen (both married and not stupid enough to ruin lives by having an affair) I say - go for it! Such attraction happens so rarely in one’s lifetime that it seems a shame not to act on it. Who cares about the age gap if you both want each other? Enjoy!

Hmmm I’m going to agree with @Palmfrond & say that your minge might be right here. It’s telling you it wants you to listen, & do something about it!!! Nothing more powerful than an exploding minge. I’d say sometimes you just have to accept what Mother Nature is telling you

Yes, your fanny’s got a mind of her own and she will be very unhappy if you don’t listen to her.

Him walking off all flustered after you hip-wiggled him – you clearly had an effect so he’s not oblivious.

Chances are his cock’s got a mind of his own too and would really like to meet your fanny.

Do it (literally) 😃

Alright, I shall bow to the all-powerful pink mistress

Eyes wide open, OP. No reason not to have some fun though.

Keep us updated! Sounds exciting.

Keep us updated! Just try to accept it probably won’t happen… just like my username

Please don’t crush this! I never got to act on a serious work colleague crush due to circumstances ie both married, me leaving my job to have a baby and never seeing him again. I
need to live through you, so please don’t rob yourself of a good opportunity - my fanny hasn’t galloped for ten years, I don’t think it even bothers to leave the stable…

And..er..where is this gym exactly OP? Asking for a friend.😊