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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to crush a crush?

160 replies

FuzzyFanny · 05/05/2022 15:33

I have a crush. It’s ridiculous. He’s 22. I’m 36.

We met last year at a gym. It’s a spit and sawdust-type gym where people just rock up and train. We’d often be there at the same time. Around November, we started pairing. Well, he started training me really. He doesn’t work there, he’s not touting for business.

I didn’t fancy him at first. Then something happened a few months ago. I have no idea what happened. It's like a switch went on and now I’m like a bloody schoolgirl.

The training we do is very physical. We touch a lot. It gives me fanny gallops. We flirt a little bit. Nothing too heavy. Most of the men are quite flirty but its ‘banter’ (hate hate that word) rather than actually looking for more. Heaviest it got with Crush Man was last week – he was showing me how to move my hips. My bum was close to his groin. He said “Jesus, I better stop this” and walked off sort of puffing out his cheeks like he was flustered. My minge nearly fucking exploded.

22 and 36 is inappropriate. I don’t want to ruin our training relationship and friendship. I need to crush the crush. How?

I can’t really avoid the gym without good reason. I mean because we train together, I’d have to tell him that I’m not around for a while. And I can’t say “I’m going to be away for a month because I can’t cope with how badly I want to sit on your face”.

I don’t actually want to avoid the gym though. It’s not a regular gym, I can’t just go to another one. And I love it. I really do love the training. I love the gym. I love everyone there (some more than others obviously!!). I just need to crush this ridiculous thing. How?

OP posts:
Thereisnolight · 04/07/2022 13:36

I’m hooked on this now.

AnotherMalbecPlease · 04/07/2022 14:33

Just go with it OP - there is a 13 year gap between me and my occasional partner - he is now 51 and I will soon be 65. I have known him for years - has done work on my house - always got on well. He popped round to give me a quote nearly 2 years ago, we found out how old/young we each were and then got together. We see one another every few weeks for an overnighter- its fun, I wouldn't say we are casual as we adore one another - we just don't want a 'proper' relationship. It works well for us at the moment but I was terrified the first time we slept together!

Shitscared123 · 04/07/2022 22:21

Thereisnolight · 04/07/2022 13:35

Brilliant writing!

Yep, which is why I’m hooked. The replies have been brilliant, especially the one said “put your calculator away.” It’s such a happy thread.

FuzzyFanny · 15/07/2022 11:11

Like a minor-movie star turned ropey Fentanyl dealer in downtown Chicago, I'm here to feed your addictions.

No shagging has happened. The last couple of weeks, we haven't managed much alone time. But on Tuesday night we managed some one-on-one training. I wasn't at my best because it was absolutely boiling and I was at the tail end of my period which always makes me bloated, headach-y, massively shortens my attention span and makes my legs hurt. What the hell is that all about, periods are weird?!
It was very annoying because a couple of days after the end of my period I'm an absolute horn-dog and I'd have had no qualms about a full front flirt-attack.

We chatted for a while after our session, and I asked if he'd do personal training with me at some point. Reader, he said yes. I can't reeeeeally afford to pay for personal training but I'm happy to live on baked beans for a while to build up my PT fund.

But then I got to wondering about where that goes. If he does PT with me and I take it up a notch, at what point does our regular PT session become a regular gigolo session? I don't want to accidentally turn Crush Man into Rent Boy.

OP posts:
Decidualcast · 15/07/2022 11:17

Things are stewing along nicely, slowly; a good build up for a full on explosion.

When is PT scheduled for? Did he blush or was his response very professional? You missed out telling us what the vibe was!

I say period was a blessing. Hold off on full frontal flirting until we have established what happens at PT sesh.

StarlightLady · 15/07/2022 15:37

OP, it’s not about “taking it up a notch”, it’s about taking it up the crotch!

Decidualcast · 15/07/2022 15:48

StarlightLady · 15/07/2022 15:37

OP, it’s not about “taking it up a notch”, it’s about taking it up the crotch!

PMSL Grin

FuzzyFanny · 15/07/2022 16:26

We haven't scheduled an actual PT session yet - it was more of a "would you be willing to do this with me in the future?" conversation Wink

Impossible to tell if he blushed - we were both absolutely beetroot red and sweating buckets. We both stank. Genuinely sexy. Him, I mean. Not me. For some reason, a combination of my deodorant, washing powder, shampoo and period juice meant I had a vague smell of moss about me.

I also forgot to say that Tuesday we had a go at "placing on each other". It sounds a lot more exciting than it is. Nothing to do with minges and willies, sadly. It means really lightly punching each other to see where your punches land (when you're the puncher) and how your defense is doing (when you're the punchee).
He punched me in the boob several times. I wondered if that was akin to early teenage flirting - you know when boys deliberately hurt girls that they like. I missed a trick, I should've said "You're hurting my boob, kiss it better" 😘

OP posts:
YRGAM · 15/07/2022 17:53

As a former 22 year old man (although one who spent far less time in the gym than this fellow), he is one million per cent flirting with you, and I'd be reasonably confident that the boob punch was intentional. From this and your previous updates, I think all you'd have to do it say the word and you'd both be in the storage cupboard in under 8 seconds

Needtomoveonwithlife · 15/07/2022 18:39

FFS OP get shagging 😃😃😃

Decidualcast · 15/07/2022 21:23

You will be at peak hotness during ovulation when you emit gorgeous pheromones. Schedule PT for then.

In your next update, we want to know that you’ve been more direct and have a session booked. I reckon you have enough supporters for a GoFundMe cause. The last thing you want is to subsist on beans at such a crucial moment. I feel we are nearly there!

Shwingbada · 26/08/2022 04:05

FuzzyFanny, please tell me you’re a published writer and link me to your columns/novels. Or at least, post again!
Some excellent suggestions there from Decidualcast: I have my card details ready.

Harrystylestutu · 26/08/2022 07:06

Please say you've given him a good seeing too! I wanna give the poor lad some sweet relief (sorry Dh). This thread has cheered me up no end this morning!

Said in sexy Ryan Gosling voice in rainstorm, "this isn't even about you anymore @FuzzyFanny , this is more than that! You have a public duty to all of us mumsnetters to SIT ON HIS FUCKING FACE! "

Halloween isn't too far away now, arrange a party, dress like a slut and ride him like Seabiscuit!

Decidualcast · 26/08/2022 13:41

To avoid seeming stalkerish, I haven’t posted to ask for an update, but have been wondering if @FuzzyFanny sat on his face with all her hotness. The boards are currently filled with gloom - I agree, you have a public service duty to give us an update.

FuzzyFanny · 30/08/2022 11:59

Why, hello. It's your local Fentanyl and Fanny dealer here. By popular demand, I'm here to update you.

The gym has gotten very busy which is good because it keeps the gym in business. And the gym being in business means access to Crush Man.
But a busy gym also, paradoxically, means less time with Crush Man. Dilemmas, eh?!

So, what's been happening? Well, let me go in chronological order and draw out the interesting bits.

One time, he took his T-shirt off. Uh-huh. Ripped as fuck. Ripped van Winkle. A bit skinnier than I usually go for, but abs you can grate cheese on. I did a joke, I made a comment about being unable to concentrate. He went red but didn't take it further. I think I rinsed those knickers out about four times after that evening.

I thought I might reciprocate a few weeks later when it was still hot. I've been gymming for a while now and I'm really happy with how my body's looking, especially my stomach which I've managed to flatten and even get a bit of abs going. So, spurred by Chloe Kelly, I thought I'd whip my top off and train in my sports bra one time. I've somehow managed to find one that doesn't give weird fat bulges in the armpits. And I have leggings that don't give a muffin top. But then I had a big week. Several meals out, lots of wine, lots of junk food. And I lost confidence. And I realised I was 36. So I didn't.

Then mid-way through August, a newbie showed up. Geek Girl. Oh no, thought I, a rival. But she's shown herself to definitely not be a rival for Crush Man. She's hopeless at boxing, clearly devoted to her partner, and a bit incompatible with the vibe of the gym. Still, she comes every week and tries her best. The trouble is that she like to pair with me because I'm one of the very few woman-flavoured gym-goers. This takes me away from Crush Man. But Crush Man often comes over to give her some tips and uses me to demonstrate, which makes me feel like a super special princess.

Last week was the first time Crush Man and I had a properly long time training together. When we'd finished, he put his arm around my shoulders and said "Ah, I miss training with you". Somehow, I didn't die instantly on the spot.
I was quick, I put my arm around his waist and said "I miss you as well". I couldn't cop a proper feel thought because I was stuck in boxing gloves. Without the gloves, I might've gone for a low-down stroke. Not quite the waist, not quite the bum. The bit in-between. The bit which says "I like you but I'm not pushing it". But I was be-gloved so I didn't. Even if I wasn't be-gloved, my hands were dripping with sweat so maybe it wouldn't have been the sensuous caress I'm imagining.

Nevertheless, I wanted a Fleabag moment. I wanted to look directly into the camera, directly down the lens, directly at the Mumsnetters following my Crush Man journey. And I wanted to wink at you all. I wanted to wink and say "See, he misses me". But I couldn't. Because there was no camera. All there was over my right shoulder was Rough Al who owns the gym, who wouldn't have appreciated the wink. Or maybe he would. Maybe Rough Al is what Crush Man eventually turns into. Mid-50s, face and hand tattoos, incapable of saying more than six words without swearing, scarred from an encounter with an axe. You get the picture.

So, what's been happening? Flirting. Topless-ness. Near topless-ness. Arm drapery. But no shagging. Not yet.

OP posts:
Aikko · 30/08/2022 12:38

How have you not shagged this guy already!?

"Halloween isn't too far away now, arrange a party, dress like a slut and ride him like Seabiscuit!"

^^This. Make it impossible for him to refuse. 😅😉

toogoodforthisworld · 30/08/2022 13:17

@FuzzyFanny
Omg I actually laughed out loud at your update. Too freakin funny.
Cant you ask him to do some training with you outside before it gets too cold? Say you've always fancied working out outside? Is there a park or something where you could do that?

My god get him inside of you!!

Life is too short! Another poster said she'd had something similar happen to her and now it's finished she gives herself a pat on the shoulder that she actually got together with a 22 yr old.
Let your minge do the talking ! Looking forward to your update! X

QuattroFormaggi · 30/08/2022 13:29

Oh I love this thread Smile

I'm early 50s and currently OLD. Many many late 30s men crave my attention, which is exciting. (And yes I have shagged one of them and he was HOT)
The interesting thing is that several older men I've chatted with have said they had experiences in their 20s with much older women (40/50s) and that it was a really liberating exciting thing (the women were less likely to be looking for a husband or babies, and were body confident)

So I reckon Crush Man wouldn't say no if the OP's galloping fanny were presented to his face 😉 Please go for it and educate this gorgeous young man for the benefit of his future wife and girlfriends!!!

FuzzyFanny · 30/08/2022 13:46

A halloween party is an excellent idea. I'd need to carefully choose my outfit. As a young 'un I was partial to a corset and hot pants for halloween. But, as I said above with regards to the sports bra unveiling, I realised recently that I'm 36.

There are always risks with corsets too. Either they're bloody impossible to get out of so spontaneous tit-play can be quite challenging. Or, they're easy to get out of but you kind of fall out, and the alluring hourglass silhouette you've created turns into that moment on Extras when Andy bursts his girdle.

About tens year ago, I went to a halloween party dressed as The Queen. If Crush Man has a thing for slightly older ladies (as in 36 year olds), my Queen outfit might well uncover the depths of his fetish. Maybe he'll be completely overcome with desire and demand daily sex with me but only if I'm dressed as her maj. Small price to pay I reckon Grin

OP posts:
Aikko · 30/08/2022 13:58

36 is not old at all, and the sluttier the better for that party!
You will be pleasantly surprised. 😊

toucaninjapan · 30/08/2022 14:17

I'm rooting for you @FuzzyFanny ! Grin

FuzzyFanny · 30/08/2022 14:48

Aikko · 30/08/2022 13:58

36 is not old at all, and the sluttier the better for that party!
You will be pleasantly surprised. 😊

You're preaching to the choir.... 36 isn't old at all.
I absolutely love being my age.
I feel like I give just the right amount of fucks about everything.
I have enough life experience to be confident but enough years ahead to still feel naive.
I'm in the best shape of my life - thanks Crush Man.
I have wonderful hobbies, lovely friends, a great house, a nice job.

But...

My body is that of a 36-year old. A well-kept 36-year old. But a 36-year old nonetheless. But Crush Man is 22. I feel as though his expectations of hot female bodies might not quite match the reality of an actual 36-year old hot body.

I'd be happy to dress slutty for halloween. But I worry that when (if, nah when...) I get my kit off, I'll remind him of one of his aunties on a day out at the beach. I'm assuming his aunties aren't all Kate Moss body doubles of course.

OP posts:
Decidualcast · 30/08/2022 15:03

Far too much tension in these updates. What happened to organising the social? But I like the arm wrapping updates. You are keeping CrushMan in his toes. Tell us, what’s the eye contact like?

As a mid-40s singleton, I can categorically state that 36 is young! Oh to be 36 again!

I often think of this thread in hot yoga whilst I’m crushing on 7ft Thai Boxer man.

Please don’t leave us stranded for this long again! I now picture Fleabag with an undercut.

FuzzyFanny · 30/08/2022 15:14

The social had a bit of momentum behind it but then people were off on holiday at different times, then it got super hot, so it all just died off. I need to resurrect the idea for sure. I might suggest we do a gym outing to a White Collar Boxing match locally. Things might get all testosterone-y. Hot.

It's interesting that you ask about eye contact. Eye contact is epic. Crush Man looks me square in the eyes whenever we talk. Like square in the eyes. And keeps eye contact. He has beautiful blue eyes that send my minge lips all a-quiver. I don't know how to read into that level of eye contact? Good? Bad?

OP posts:
Shwingbada · 30/08/2022 21:34

He either really fancies you FF, or he’s a psychopath.