How to crush a crush?

[FuzzyFanny]

I have a crush. It’s ridiculous. He’s 22. I’m 36.

We met last year at a gym. It’s a spit and sawdust-type gym where people just rock up and train. We’d often be there at the same time. Around November, we started pairing. Well, he started training me really. He doesn’t work there, he’s not touting for business.

I didn’t fancy him at first. Then something happened a few months ago. I have no idea what happened. It's like a switch went on and now I’m like a bloody schoolgirl.

The training we do is very physical. We touch a lot. It gives me fanny gallops. We flirt a little bit. Nothing too heavy. Most of the men are quite flirty but its ‘banter’ (hate hate that word) rather than actually looking for more. Heaviest it got with Crush Man was last week – he was showing me how to move my hips. My bum was close to his groin. He said “Jesus, I better stop this” and walked off sort of puffing out his cheeks like he was flustered. My minge nearly fucking exploded.

22 and 36 is inappropriate. I don’t want to ruin our training relationship and friendship. I need to crush the crush. How?

I can’t really avoid the gym without good reason. I mean because we train together, I’d have to tell him that I’m not around for a while. And I can’t say “I’m going to be away for a month because I can’t cope with how badly I want to sit on your face”.

I don’t actually want to avoid the gym though. It’s not a regular gym, I can’t just go to another one. And I love it. I really do love the training. I love the gym. I love everyone there (some more than others obviously!!). I just need to crush this ridiculous thing. How?

Omg posted on wrong thread, sorry!

Honest to god op I absolutely love your sense of humour . You have cheered me right up today 😊. I'm stuck in this crush faze too and want it too piss off !!!!! I'm good if I don't see him for a few days then when I do I'm like a school girl with her first crush 😅.

Flirt with Rough Al (in your sports bra) in front of Crush Guy to move things along a bit?

I just thought I'd pop in to let you all know that I'm ovulating.

That's it, that's the update. As they say.

Nah, I’m kidding. I mean I am ovulating and it played absolute havoc with my fanny the other night when I went to the gym. I’m hoping, as PP suggested, that Crush Man’s olfactory system was absolutely assaulted by my raw, ready for action, ovulation pheromones.

Sadly, we didn’t get any alone time but Crush Man was using me as his assistant to demonstrate moves and techniques. His glamorous assistant. His Debbie McGee. His Lovely Debbie McGee.

I didn’t make the Debbie McGee reference to him because a little bit of me would’ve died if (nope, when) it transpired that he’d never heard of Paul and Debbie. I guess I could’ve made the joke, then demonstrated who Paul and Debbie were: “I’ll slip into something glittery and revealing, you shove me into a box and wave your magic wand around”… “Oh and then we get married and have lots of sex”.

I’ve happened upon a solution to the sports bra problem. It turns out that the top I wore the other day is quite a bit thinner than I thought it was. I didn’t realise until I caught a glimpse of myself in the gym mirror on the way out that my nipples were standing to attention like chapel hat pegs. It’s not quite what I was going for and I’m not sure that nipples with an absolute mind of their own are sexy for 22-year old men –are they, answers on a postcard, please—but it kinda shows off some goodies, a little teaser.

You still haven't shagged him? You've been friendzoned by now, surely?

As for the nipple thing, it depends if crush guy actually fancies you or simply regards you as yet another older female gym member with a thing for him 😂

Oh my days....just joined Mumsnet with my own highly problematic crush issues (him 21, me 45 and I'm married -eek)and this thread has just made me laugh so much and cheered me right up. You HAVE to keep us updated! I am living vicariously through you! Godspeed 😂

Just fuck him already. Jeez.

Google 'vabbing'...might be what he needs to properly notice you

One of you needs to say something. Like, neeeeeds to say it.

Next time say "what are you doing now? Fancy grabbing my tits a drink?"

You'll know by his face if he's busy whether he regrets it or not. He might ask for your number to arrange another time!

@QuattroFormaggi beat me to the recommendation of vabbing. Basically, smear yourself in your own Fanny secretions. Lovely article in the Daily Mail yesterday.

I’m increasingly frustrated at your restraint!! The see through sports bra thing is unintended progress, but not progress enough. What’s your strategy regarding CrushMan?

Thanks, thanks so much. I've spent most of my morning so far reading about vabbing. That was a whole corner of the internet I absolutely did not need to visit. Thanks.

There are risks with vabbing though, right? I mean what if my hazy scent of vaginal juices overwhelms him, and we embrace, and we kiss, and then he moves his kisses down my neck, and then back up, and then behind my ears. Might he pull back, out of our passionate kissing, running his tongue over his lips and say "Fuzzy, I'm just wondering why your neck and ear areas taste like minge?"

Might be a passion killer.

For those asking, I have no plan. I have no strategy. My plan is to look at Crush Man adoringly several times a week until forever. I fear its becoming clear that I'm too chicken to do much else. What a wimp.

I actually love this thread it’s had me howling to myself.
Probably due to the similarities with my own inappropriate crush he’s 23 and I’m 42.

I’ve had the day from hell and this update has really cheered me up.
Unless you have an STI, which, from the sounds of it you haven’t seen enough action to contract one, vabbing shouldn’t let off any malodours. So, I think you need get vabbing.
You box and have an undercut. You’re no wimp.

It’s been a while since you posted, I hope you’ve shagged him already 😂

Sorry, no shagging yet. I've had Covid for a couple of weeks so been avoiding the gym.

I texted Crush Man when I first went down with Covid. I said I wouldn't be around for a while, that I was at home sulking in my PJs. It was a very vanilla opening for him to do flirting back at me. But he didn't. Twat.

Anyhow, I'm back to the gym tonight. I'm going to give vabbing a try. I'll update tomorrow to let y'all know how I got on.

OP, it’s unreasonable to expect him to come on to you in a reply to a text, the poor chap could lose his job if he misread signals which were not there. It’s a case of you having to put your cards (or maybe your knickers 🤣) on the table.

@StarlightLady Over-ruled I'm afraid.

Crush Man doesn't work there in the traditional sense. If lots of people show up for classes and Crush Man's there at the time, he'll help out with the classes. Rough Al (owner) will bung him a bit of cash for that. But he's not 'employed' as such.

So, there's no reason he couldn't have done flirting by text.

Oooohhh you have CrushMan’s number!!!

Did he pick you for any demos today?

Vabbing 😂😂😂 never heard that before but Google has enlightened me. Any joy??

Morning everyone.

I tried vabbing last night. As I was getting ready to head out, I wondered to myself WTAF I was doing - running my finger tip around my minge and then wiping it onto my neck. But I did it.

Crush Man did not instantly fall into my arms. Or into my Fanny.

So, my verdict is that vabbing doesn't work. I just smelt of lady gardens for no reason. Thanks MN.

Try when you are ovulating. Any day now, right?

That's amazjnfe, you've made me chuckle so even though you didn't get laid it wasn't a total.waste 😆