Would it be two-timing? Help!!

[greeneyedgirl]

Ok so I have been "seeing" a guy I suppose. Been on 3 dates in quick succession and we have been pretty intimate, but have not had sex, not going to yet either. We seem to get on fine and he is nice, but there have been no declarations or relationship discussions.

But have been talking to a guy online (met both on a dating site) who really wants to meet me and he also seems really nice. I would like to just meet up for a drink just to see how we get on, but feeling a bit weird, do you think I would be "cheating"?

I don't feel like I am going out with the guy I am seeing, he is nice, but it all seems to be quite sexual, which although is enjoyable, I am really not sure about and want to pull back a little.

So what do you think I should do? All opinions welcome!

Hey GEG!

What's the latest? Did you see Ben again? Doctors?

Hope it's all going swimmingly for you...

Yes, I am still seeing "Ben". Took the plunge and slept with him at the w/e and NOTHING happened, no bleeding. I am hoping I am now "cured". Yay!

I like him very much and he seems to like me, but obviously me being such a cynic and also pretty hard on myself, I am still not entirely sure. I am desperately trying not to like him too much and failing miserably at it. Bugger!

Anyway, how are things with you?

aha, was I right or was I right?! I had a feeling that if you tried it, you might be relieved by the outcome.

Of course you are failing miserably at not liking him!! That's what we do when we meet someone nice!! You have nothing to worry about while he is still being nice to you. Like I said a while ago, just go with and don't ask yourself any questions about it all until at least 4-6 weeks in.

I've been having a really busy time but am keeping my head above water. Still found time to get involved in a thread entitled something like "DH's friendship with work colleague, am I being naive". Bloody hell the knives came out for me at the weekend. There are some pretty scary people on these boards sometimes!! Go have a read, you might see what I mean. I won't mention names though!!

Really glad things are moving on well with this fella, you deserved a break and he seems like just what the doctor ordered

Lol, I know what you mean about knives out on these boards, I have been on the receiving end before (but that was under my other name), it's not very pleasant. I like to think I don't judge people that quickly, I will go and have a look at the thread in a min then!

Life can be better when it's busy sometimes I think, so much less time to think about "stuff". Thanks for checking in!

you have two names?? That's sneeky!! Why do you do that? I mean, you are anonymous as greeneyedgirl, why would it matter what you post? I should have posted in that thread with a different name. Certain people tried to discredit me, saying I was the one who started the thread about adult chat rooms. Then there was the bonkers woman who said all men are torturers. Now, I have seen some men haters but she really took the biscuit. In fact, she took the whole bloody packet.

I find it quite sad in many ways when I read some of the threads here. People are so judgmental and so harsh, particularly towards men. Another guy tried to post in that thread and he was quickly flamed too. I think some people just don't want men on these boards, which is sad. Conversely, I think some people freak out when they see posts from a seemingly emotionally articulate and thoughtful guy and their only response is to flame them. I just hate this attitude of all men are scum, they deserve all they get. I will continue my campaign to give us a better name!!!

So what type of things have you been flamed for on here?

You are right about being busy, it can be good not to have time to think. Flip side is if we don't stop to think sometimes, things pass us by and we get overwhelmed! Ah, life is a balancing act!!

I had to change my name because my stupid ex was a fuckwit and googled all my email addresses, and on one entry on the friends board I stupidly gave my MSN addy. From this he discovered my "name" and saw a few posts I had made regarding him (I actually said nothing horrible at all), then he emailed me all the said posts and told me to be more careful. This was after he dumped me!

I was previously flamed when I posted about my husband, when i was thinking of leaving him and I was feeling really guilty and awful. Most people were supportive, but a few said that he had a right to be pissed with me cos I didn't work at the time and I should go back to work immediately, because like it or not I had to pull my weight. I mean, did they not think that I went through that particular dilemma every day?

I totally agree with your point that men seem to get flamed more often on here, it is sad because in my experience women can and do behave as badly as men, so it is not fair to judge people by their sex alone. Or what about the post trying to accuse us of flirting on here?? It seems also that men and women cannot exchange posts as it is seen as almost a prelude to an affair. Most of the people on here are great though I have to say!

very true, there are some really great people on these boards. I agree with you about the hypocrisy of some of them though. I mean, if you read certain people, you really would think that all women are perfect.

The classic one is with regards to affairs. Yes, slag off men for having them but, unless I am mistaken, generally you do not have them on your own (well, thankfully there is no law against "sex" on your own!!! but don't get me started on that!!). So for all the men they slag off, what about the women who were involved in the same situation? And no, it is not usually married men going off with bimbo single girls. I know plenty of married woman who have done the dirty.

Yeah, there was that stupid post about us chatting!! And all those people who were convinced I was that guy who had had an affair off here with another mumsnetter. All I can say is if I was having an affair (which clearly I would never do), I can be pretty confident that I would not be doing it in an open bloody forum!!!!!!!

I know, is what I said in response to that post, if I wanted to pick up married men, why would I do so in open forums for everyone to see?? I actually think that Mumsnet is the wrong name for a site like this, should be Parentsnet or something.

I actually value the opinion of men, because, generally, most of the questions posted on this forum are about what men are thinking lol!! For some reason, in RL I also find it easier to chat to men, doesn't seem to be as much of the bitchiness you can get with women, although it is great to have a good old gossip with the girls too.

Women are most certainly not perfect, I am a very good example of this, I seem to do the same stupid things over and over again lol. Wondering when I will start learning from my mistakes!!

basically female/male friendships are cool for a million reasons, some people on here just clearly don't ever get that kind of interraction and cannot understant that...

As for a name, how about Mums(withoccasionalldaddiestoo)net

??

Lol, cool name, but possibly a bit long for us lazy typers! I just read some of the post you referred to. Poor old allfalldown! I think people should be friends with anyone they get on with, regardless of their sex! You only get one shot at life, and whilst you need to be considerate to loved ones, you also owe it to yourself to go out and be who you are too!

Ahhh, so satisfying trying to put the world to rights! You're cool PAL!

so what's happening in the Ben love garden? Is it all smelling of roses (I hope so) or has the lawn gotten all cut up and muddy?

(Great metaphor, if I say so myself!!!)

Did Bill ever try again??

just read you in another thread... so how is it going with yer man?

Is he still being kind to you?

And are you still being kind to yourself?!

He is still being kind to me yes, but I am probably not being kind enough to myself, getting better though. I seem to quietly (as in I don't say so to him obv) expect to get dumped. Not because I think I have done anything wrong, just because it's what I experienced before.

Saying that, I am not totally desperate about the whole thing as I was with my ex, just need to analyse myself a bit less. Most of the time I am fairly happy with how things are going though.

We talk online every night and on the phone, see each other a couple of times a week generally and it's usually him who asks when we can get together again, so I am presuming this is all good news. It got a bit lovey dovey a few weeks back, but now we seem to have pulled back from that a bit (which I am relieved about) and don't seem to be pressuring each other (at least I am hoping he doesn't feel pressure) I have told him he doesn't HAVE to speak to me every night, that I won't have a panic attack lol.

It is all very nice without all the drama of my previous relationships, hope it stays that way!!