Would it be two-timing? Help!!

[greeneyedgirl]

Ok so I have been "seeing" a guy I suppose. Been on 3 dates in quick succession and we have been pretty intimate, but have not had sex, not going to yet either. We seem to get on fine and he is nice, but there have been no declarations or relationship discussions.

But have been talking to a guy online (met both on a dating site) who really wants to meet me and he also seems really nice. I would like to just meet up for a drink just to see how we get on, but feeling a bit weird, do you think I would be "cheating"?

I don't feel like I am going out with the guy I am seeing, he is nice, but it all seems to be quite sexual, which although is enjoyable, I am really not sure about and want to pull back a little.

So what do you think I should do? All opinions welcome!

no, i understood what you meant, I promise you that I am not a woman! Obviously impossible to prove in here but I think if you read my other posts recently they do clearly come from a man and his male perspective. Even if I could post a photo (which clearly I cannot, when you look at some of the things I am discussing), you would have no way of knowing it was me. Anyway, I hope I have reassured you.

oh i see shiny, why would he do that though?
I know guys who can too.

I'm sure he wouldn't Ulysees (sorry to talk about you as if you're not here PAL!).. I just posted what I was thinking, that we have a nice new male poster (as opposed to one of those who is trolling or looking to get laid!)... sorry, was thinking aloud really..

it's ok shiny, i can still hear you

to be fair to you, I think your concerns were valid. It is so hard with internet to know how real and genuine people are - although if we were all to be honest, it is this anonimity also which attracts us, I feel, as we can be open and direct while "hiding" behind our forum identities. I think a few people thought I may be a troll last week when I started a thread about internet chat rooms. But like I say, I am not trolling and certainly not looking to get laid. I am married and very happy to be so.

Thanks PAL, I believe you're a guy anyway lol!

Ok the advice as usual was great. I have heard from friend, so all is fine there, phewee.

I can't be arsed at the moment to worry about the guy 1, it will just lead me to insanity lol, so that's dealt with.

Yeah the attention thing, it seems genuine, we spoke on msn pretty much every night last week and he texted me today from work and is calling me tonight. So, I am thinking I should just enjoy it, after all it's rubbish when blokes keep you in suspense as to what they think about you. I must sound pretty hard to please lol!

I will just be on alert for problems.

I really need to chill lol!

sounds like a perfect plan, enjoy the bits you can enjoy and just keep a little eye open (that doesn't mean be on ALERT!) just in case.

too right about how annoying it is when people play games and keep their cards too close to their chests. Especially when we get over 30, do we really have time (let alone the stamina!) for all the mind games?!

[ps - when I first read your post, I thought it said "I will just plead insanity" which I thought would be a very funny and good answer to him if he gets arsey!!]

Lol PAL. Just thought I'd let you know that I am having the day from HELL and this bloke better be nice or I'm giving up!!

Just found out that hubby WASN'T ill at the weekend and blew our daughter out just so he could go out with someone! Secondly, just got a call from a past date, who wants to be mates (that bit is good). But he is good friends with a mate of my ex boyfriend who happened to divulge that my ex has been telling all of them that I am a psychopath!!!! To say that I am hurt and disgusted is an understatement.

I am very upset right now and am wondering if I am a horrible person...even a psycho, that men feel like this about me. Feel awful

it's bad enough worrying about what someone says about you - it's even worse worrying about what the friend of a good friend of an ex date says your ex is saying about you!! That is about 5 removed!!!

The fact that he is your ex says it all! He wasn't good enough for you and if he wasn't good enough, why would you put any store in what he says about you?

I don't know you even remotely well enough to judge but I am certain you are not a psycho (all women are a bit psycho, no?!) and you are certainly not horrible.

Now forget what all these dregs from the past are saying and just get on with enjoying the call you are expecting from number two later on tonight

ps - tongue in cheek, the comment about women being psychos, of course!

Well, yeah we can be psychos sometimes..although is usually because of a man! Hehe (tongue in cheek of course)

And yet again you are right, there is a reason why he is an ex, the only thing that piques me is that I wasn't the one to do the dumping...and I spent alotof wasted time wanting him back! Grrrrr.

Hubby, well I just can't wait til the divorce comes through. He doesn't know that I know about what he got up to at the weekend, stupid man sent a text to my home phone that clearly wasn't meant for me.

no harm in wanting someone back, just sometimes we need time to realise that we are better off without someone. Sounds like a knob, really. It's never nice to be dumped but sounds like he did you a big favour!

As for your hubby, don't you just love it when men don't engage their brains?! Honestly, we can be so damn stupid sometimes!! Reminds me of something Woody Allen once said - god gave men a brain and a cock, and only enough blood for one of them to function at any one time

Feeling a bit better now. But I asked a "mate" if they thought he had any grounds to call me a psycho and was told that by looking at his Facebook page that could be considered stalking!! Thanks! You can't tell who looks at your FB page so how would he have known? Also I didn't text, call or sit outside his house, I hate chasing and looking desperate so I didn't do it.

I am sure I said some non complimentary things about him, so I suppose I can't complain too much. Just feel really bad that someone thinks that about me. I would admit to being insecure when I was with him, but not a psycho. Still there is nothing I can do, just feel a bit bruised I suppose.

Thanks for your advice yet again PAL, loving the Woody Allen quote!!

Did you see the headline on the front page of the Times today??

"100% of Facebook users are psychos"

The story went on to say that every single one of the 50 million subscribers are clearly psychos as they have, shock horror, looked at other people's pages, checked on what ex's are doing, had a peek at what the school bully looks like 20 years later, tried to see what their boss gets up to in his spare time...

I know it must feel bad being a psycho but at least you are in good company! I too am a facebook addict and have been known to look at other people's pages without them knowing. It is a bad trait but I am coming to terms with my falibility!

Are you serious, did you really say some, er, uncomplimentary things about him? No!! I am shocked!! Ex girlfriend who was treated shabbily by B/F says some uncomplimentary things. Wow, that never happens. Yup, proof again you are a psycho

Now if he wants to know what it's like to be with a real psycho, let me send down some of my exes to him!!

Did number two call??

No he didn't in the end because we were chatting online, but he is calling tonight and we are out to dinner tomorrow. He is being really great, very enthusiastic, it's nice. Although I am having to fob off guy one, which feels a bit horrible, but I am doing what I need to do for myself.

Thank god you are a FB addict too, makes me feel so much better to be in such highly esteemed company lol! If you sent down some of your exes for him, they would probably be out-psycho'd!

I am smiling again, hoorah.

great that you are doing what you need for yourself, that is such progress from last week.

Trust me, some of the girls I have in mind would out-psycho even the most out-psychoable of men!

Everyone is an FB addict, no?! I don't know how they did it, must be a smell they send through our screens or clever subliminal messages. However they did it, they sure were clever.

Anyway, must go and feed the [FB] fish and see what's growing in my [FB] garden today

Lol, have fun! There's probably loads of us on here that use Facebook, we should start a group lol!

yay, the facebook mumsnet group!!!!

then we could see what we all look like and write on each other's walls and send each other fish and fight vampires together and play mass scrabble and mass super poke and, oh no, hold on a minute, I don't think this is compatible with staying anonymous on MN!!

I will never be able to reveal my identity in that way after the thread I started last week, it was just too personal and TMI

That's very true, never mind it was just a thought! Unless we all assume aliases like superheroes and no-one would ever guess...like we could all wear glasses, worked for Clark Kent!!

what a great idea, shame it ever so slightly defeats the purpose to be in disguise!! I just cannot leave my innocent Wall open to some of those mumsnetters who so vehemently opposed what I was talking about last week... I am screwed for life, I will always have to live in the shadows

Like Batman. Dammit! Well, some people get so upset about that sort of thing, I guess we all have different opinions. It's great that we're all different, live and let live and all that!

You'll have to come into the light at some point, what about when you get your own talk show??

and who says I don't already have one??!!

ok, I don't!

But I'd make a damn good stab at it

In a way I wish I had never started that thread now, it would be nice to put a profile up here so I can tell people what I am reading/watching/listening to!!

[goes back into his cave, head hung low]

Yes, but you needed the opinions of others, just like us lesser mortals. Well, what are you reading/watching/listening to? Start a thread!!!

Watch out Jeremy Kyle then!

What do you mean, lesser mortals? We are all equal here (and in the real world too!).

Obviously I am not reading or listening to anything as I am way too busy on FB and MN

I would start a thread but I have got so used to the relationships section that I am too shy to venture out to the general chat section!! Who knows what could happen to me out there

ps - hope your dinner date goes swimmingly tonight...

I am sure you wouldn't get mauled lol, however I must admit I tend to stick to this section as well.

Thanks, I hope the date goes well too. As always I have managed to come out in spots, (typical) and I am paranoid about the bags under my eyes; lets hope they turn the lights down in the restaraunt lol!

I'm sure he won't have minded. So how was it? Any clearer in your mind now as to which one/what you want?