What attracts men to come on mumsnet?

[BlueStarOnGrey]

There seems to be a certain type of man that comes on here, usually sulking because their partner has done something wrong or won't have sex on demand.

Why Mumsnet? It seems a really strange place to post.

I sort of x-posted with Bruno there, but from completely the opposite perspective!!

As stated earlier this is a parenting site for parents. Anyone of either sex who is a parent has much more right to be here than any childless women. It would also be wise to note the misandry on this site terrible. If you were to replace men (a protected characteristic) with women (also protected by sex) or black (protected by race) or Muslim (protected by religion) or finally lesbians (protected by sexuality) even if backed up by evidence. You would get banned pretty quickly. And this really shows both the double standards in posting and moderation on here.

And telling people to go to make dominated websites is fine enough but these websites aren't exactly going to start enforcing men only areas because that isn't pc work or even fair today. Perhaps Mumsnet users would be happy with women being banned from football sites, maybe car sites or DIY too. It wasn't long ago women were demanding access to these places asking for them to be made female friendly, (if you spoke the same way about women on my local football teams forum as Mumsnet users speak about men your account wouldn't be working).

The good news is Mumsnet isn't mainstream, it is a place where the some of the more extreme elements of feminism hang out alongside more mainstream users. Perhaps all those asking for piglet John's advice would perhaps appreciate the diversity of views and knowledge that having both sexes on Mumsnet brings.

This is not a women only space and never has been.

This comes up a lot and MN have chipped in many times to point out it's always been for men too and it's not parentsnet just because that's less catchy.

I find it weirdly arrogant that women who have presumably not been here long if they didn't know that complain about their space being invaded.

This question always pops up now and then.

In Relationships. There is at least one per month. Their OP isn't 'I'm sulky and not getting sex' but they end up there with a side of 'let me tell my wife/partner that other women agree with me and that she is womanning wrong' and a soupcon of 'I'm up for sex if any of you submissive women are up for it too' topped off with a 'I'm so sensitive and feminist I even value women's opinions hence why I'm here'.

I actually have SEN twins, one with high needs, so that's a coincidence that you'd use that example haha!

Re this and your other comment, I thought someone would say that - and you're not wrong. Of course there are parents with terrible views who are determined to make others feel bad.

But I still don't think non-parents weighing in with opinions about parenting is helpful, unless they've got a particular and genuine idea. It's the judgement and assumptions which rile me up a bit. I think your example illustrates this perfectly - as an SEN parent (and being autistic myself) I'm not going to listen to someone who is NT tell me about what autism is. Same as white women dictating race issues to black women. I see them all as similar issues - for me, it's about people commenting on things that they've got suitable experience/knowledge to comment on. Or at the very least, "skin in the game".

Just to be absolutely crystal clear, I'm not saying that non-parents shouldn't be here at all - just that I don't really understand how they arrived and why they stayed. Pre-children I wouldn't have dreamt of going on here - but maybe that is just my very literal brain haha! I can completely see how lots of the boards offer things for non-parents - the feminism board and property board are brilliant and not to do with parenting at all.

Actual just to clarify the comment re non-parents - I think it's the judgement and opinions which bothers me. I'd always be open to ideas and suggestions. It's the judginess from people who have no idea what it's like that pisses me off.

Yeah, the only thing happening on dadsnet is tumbleweed.

It's definitely the variety and amount of traffic that makes MN what it is, even for the many users who aren't actually mums.

I see it as a bit like buying a pencil (humour me for a moment....) whereby, if you go to a proper stationery shop, you can choose from scores of different types and grades of pencils to perfectly suit whatever you want it for; however, if you're determined that you want a pencil that says 'Warwick Castle' on it, you can only get one single kind - maybe in a choice of three or four colours if you're lucky - from only one place. Just because a man is a dad, that doesn't mean that a very quiet Dadsnet is going to meet all of his online discussion desires. That might have made no sense whatsoever!

I often wonder how sites like eBay ever got started, as there must have been a time when there were only about half a dozen items for sale, so the chance of finding what you were after would have been vanishingly minuscule, hence why would anybody have bothered going on there at all; see the vicious circle.

In Relationships. There is at least one per month. Their OP isn't 'I'm sulky and not getting sex' but they end up there with a side of 'let me tell my wife/partner that other women agree with me and that she is womanning wrong' and a soupcon of 'I'm up for sex if any of you submissive women are up for it too' topped off with a 'I'm so sensitive and feminist I even value women's opinions hence why I'm here'.

Oh my god, once a month. Well that settles it- I can't imagine a man posts here more often than that so they must all be the same.

Just like all women love makeup and shopping.

Hallyup89, I’m still laughing at the children filling the dishwasher up with sand!

It’s the sort of thing my two used to get up to when young.

Because there are plenty of topics and threads which are nothing to do with parental status.

How many times does this point have to be made? It's tiresome.

What irritates me is that whenever there’s a problem or a bunfight the assumption is always that the posters are all women, and journalists always report based on that assumption.

I don’t mind the ‘man here’ posts too much. The ones I resent are the be-kinders, or the ones who are assumed to be cool-wives not because they’re pretending to be that, but because their contributions are interpreted as if they were female.

I don’t see any reason why childfree/childless women aren’t welcome here.

maybe a site name change would help?

Woah! Very taken aback with people saying childless people can't give helpful advice to parents.
I am childless and in my 50s. I first found MN through the discussions on education but have stayed for all sorts including the data thread on Covid, weather watch and discussions on home improvements and housekeeping and weight loss as well as sporner corner. None of these have any bearing on whether you have procreated as far as I can tell.
However I am very experienced in working with and educating children, in particular those who have a neurodiverse profile.
Why shouldn't I give advice/make suggestions to parents? It may sometimes be more useful than that of parents with no experience of neurodiversity!
I normally feel totally accepted here and that my childless status is irrelevant/not an issue. Thanks for making me feel unwelcome.

I find it weirdly arrogant that women who have presumably not been here long if they didn't know that complain about their space being invaded.

That's an extremely good point, actually. All the mums/dads/childfree women/childfree men who've been around here for a while know and understand very well that it's a majority but by no means exclusively female user-base - and that there are procedures in place for dealing with the unpleasant elements; so I can only assume that the people who keep asking the same question again and again must be different newly-here people each time.

All respectful people are welcome here - old and new - but it is a bit rich to join somewhere and immediately start demanding to know why the stalwarts who've been there for years don't match the exact profile that you would prefer.

Of what relevance is my child free by choice status if I want to chat about Masterchef or discuss the current government's performance?

I’m still laughing at the children filling the dishwasher up with sand!

Same here! I can only assume that the little darlings misread 'Bosch' as 'Beach' and thought "Wait a minute, there's something important missing here!"

All respectful people are welcome here - old and new - but it is a bit rich to join somewhere and immediately start demanding to know why the stalwarts who've been there for years don't match the exact profile that you would prefer.

100% this

Just wanted to add... I think my frustration is with the posters who are so blinkered about the ' normality' of being a parent they can't imagine that some educators, children's nurses, health visitors, paediatricians, play workers, librarians, dieticians, paediatric occupational therapists, child minders, orthodontists, GPs etc etc might actually be childless but still give useful information to parents about their children.
Still other may be closely involved in caring for nephews and nieces or friend's children and have useful input about children from that perspective.

EducatingArti

I agree with you. I can't stand the people who come on and proclaim/believe that their own experience is the only exact one that anybody else could ever have (or, if not, they're doing it 'wrongly'); but that absolutely doesn't mean that other people's knowledge, experience (of all kinds) and suggestions - if made humbly and respectfully - isn't frequently immensely valuable. Equally, people can give shockingly parenting bad advice - and whether or not they're also a parent is not the deciding factor in that at all.

This reminds me of the old joke: "When I was young, my parents took me to see a child psychologist; but the little lad was useless!"

Sorry but I don't think anyone can just claim no one can post here but women. I don't have children (not been successful so far) but I appreciate the relationship forum as it helped me so much in the problems in my own life.

If anyone else finds it useful too and yes that includes men, it's not for you all to put a bloody electric fence up and say keep away.

Anyone has a right to post and look for advice or to participate.

You are not the mumsnet gods.

I'm a man, I started coming on here as it's a good parenting resource, which was particularly useful to me when the relationship with my kids mum broke down and I adjusted to looking after the children as a single parent rather than with their mother.

I don't post on here much, and if I do I don't point out that I'm a man unless it's specifically relevant to the subject at hand.

As you can see by my name, I'm a man and I posted on here because my wife had an affair and wanted to get a woman perspective from a range of people that I don't know.

I genuinely wanted some advice and this seemed as good a place as any.

Missing the point entirely, what relevance is any of that if you are a man? Posters have commented on the fact this is MUMSnet so men “shouldn’t be here” well then the same applies to those that aren’t Mothers or is it MN double standards once again?

Same goes for men then doesn’t it, my post is about the fact some women think it’s MUMSnet so men shouldn’t be here well in that case women without children shouldn’t either, see the double standards? 🙄

I've no objection to men being here, or anyone who treats the forum space or discussion respectfully. How am I missing the point or applying double standards?

Wayward good guy simp here;
I like mumsnet for the salty humour & foul language tbh. And the stories about sand in the dishwasher. And I’m quite happy with the misandry as it is entirely in keeping with my general misanthropy.