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Original poster

Met online date today and.....

226 replies

PawPaw333 · 18/04/2022 20:13

His teeth were so fucking awful.
He's lovely in every other respect, decent, good looking, respectful.. But once he opens his mouth I couldn't get past the teeth.
They are crooked, gappy and badly discoloured.
Am I being shallow here? I liked everything else about him.

OP posts:
ScottChegg · 18/04/2022 20:20

It doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks; if you find them really offputting then that's the way it is! You don't owe him anything.

But for what it's worth I don't think you are being shallow.

Original poster
PawPaw333 · 18/04/2022 20:22

I just imagine him coming near me to kiss me and it makes me shudder but I feel like I'm being mean.. Teeth are a pretty big deal though as you see them every single day. His last relationship was 20 years so she must've just got used to them and accepted it.

OP posts:
Circumferences · 18/04/2022 20:23

Well it's potentially you that's going to be kissing his mouth so I think you get a say in what you want to kiss or not!
Don't give yourself a hard time, just let him go.
He's not for you.

I wouldn't mention it to him either.

Original poster
PawPaw333 · 18/04/2022 20:24

I feel bad because I'd 100 % fancy him if it wasn't for the teeth. He ticks every other box. I fancy him until he opens his mouth.

OP posts:
Bjarnum · 18/04/2022 20:27

Tell him. As kindly as you can, but tell him. He may be really offended but it is in his interests to know

ScottChegg · 18/04/2022 20:27

Don't feel bad. Just tell him you weren't feeling it and move on.

Qwill · 18/04/2022 20:27

I’m not sure his ex ‘got used to them’, they just probably didn’t bother her. You don’t fancy him, it really doesn’t matter why not (teeth, beard, overweight, underweight, etc.). Just say you didn’t feel a romantic spark (which is true), and move on, and stop imagining kissing him - seems a bit odd when you don’t fancy him!!

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 18/04/2022 20:28

Don't feel bad, you can't help what gives you the ick! Tbf, I would feel the same as you and I don't think there's a way to get past it.

Original poster
PawPaw333 · 18/04/2022 20:29

God he's already messaged me to say he had a great time and would love to see me again.

OP posts:
Useranon1 · 18/04/2022 20:29

@Bjarnum

Tell him. As kindly as you can, but tell him. He may be really offended but it is in his interests to know
And do what?

I have discoloured teeth and there's nothing I can do about. Nice to know we're so unattractive though. You sound shallow as anything if you liked him otherwise and are discounting him on the basis of sticks of pulp and enamel!

Original poster
PawPaw333 · 18/04/2022 20:31

The teeth do give me the ick. Without sounding arrogant, I take great care with my oral hygiene and have been blessed with straight white teeth, I don't expect any potential date to have the same but it's just the discolouration that really put me off.

OP posts:
Furrbabymama87 · 18/04/2022 20:31

You're allowed to not fancy someone for whatever reason. If you shudder at the thought of kissing him then don't meet him again. It's a waste of both of your time. I personally like teeth that aren't perfect. My husband has overcrowded teeth that are a bit wonky and he's self conscious about it but he actually has a gorgeous smile. I can understand that teeth that are really awful or stained could be a turn off.

Qwill · 18/04/2022 20:31

We’ll just say you had a lovely time do, but didn’t feel an attraction. It doesn’t need to be made into a big deal.

Chocolatecomaday · 18/04/2022 20:32

I kissed dh within half an hour of meeting him.. Never noticed his lack of teeth.
The next day I was shocked someone could be so accepting of their appearance but too late I was hooked!! Been nearly 10 years..
Came to understand his dps were awful and he never saw a dentist of was encouraged to brush his teeth. When we had dc he overcame his fear of dentists and had 10 broken ones out! Has false ones but never wears them. I do notice the gaps but he is so much more than bad teeth!

Original poster
PawPaw333 · 18/04/2022 20:32

No I'm not going to tell him it's because of that, I don't want to be unkind and make him feel bad. It may be something he can't help.
I'm just going to say it was nice to meet him but I felt no romantic spark and good luck etc.

OP posts:
bonfireheart · 18/04/2022 20:33

Oh OP, my ex is probably The One and he would make me so happy and readily marry me but I know can't even believe I kissed him cos his teeth were so bad, I did tell him and he got offended. We're still close friends and I also worry that I made mistake but I can't get past his teeth!!

Bobbybobbins · 18/04/2022 20:33

As above, just tell him it's not going to work for you. I wouldn't mention the teeth personally. I have discoloured teeth (genetics, thanks dad!) and can't do anything about it so he may be the same.

biggreenhouse · 18/04/2022 20:34

if its something braces and whitening would resolve then I'd stick with it, and nudge him to look into that.. not sure how I'd phrase it like ..

Snoopfroggyfrogg · 18/04/2022 20:34

You're fine not to want to meet him again but please keep it to a general 'thanks but no thanks' and don't mention his teeth. It's not your place after one date.

Qwill · 18/04/2022 20:35

And I agree, don’t tell him! I am sure he is well aware of his teeth, some people are bothered about it some aren’t. Imagine someone told you you’re lovely but 10kg over their ideal weight. How would that make you feel? People are generally aware of themselves, and some people will fancy you some people won’t, but most people won’t like a critique of what you believe to be their short comings!!

Snoopfroggyfrogg · 18/04/2022 20:35

Cross post!

millytint44 · 18/04/2022 20:36

Ask him if he's willing to spend £10k on veneers for you to want to see him again?

millytint44 · 18/04/2022 20:36

FWIW, I put 'nice teeth' in my 'what I find attractive in a man' on my OLD profile....

Original poster
PawPaw333 · 18/04/2022 20:37

@Snoopfroggyfrogg

You're fine not to want to meet him again but please keep it to a general 'thanks but no thanks' and don't mention his teeth. It's not your place after one date.
I absolutely would never tell him as mentioned above. I'm second guessing if I'm being shallow and should see him again because I fancied everything else about him so I'm definitely not going to be cruel and tell him.
OP posts:
Qwill · 18/04/2022 20:38

@biggreenhouse

Seriously? If someone came in here and said that they had a great date but the man said they were put off my their weight and had they considered diets, gastric bands etc., do you think that would also be acceptable?! Some people have no idea of what’s socially acceptable/polite these days. You don’t need to tell others every single thought that comes into your head. I hate beards but wouldn’t go round telling people they’d be more attractive if they shaved!!