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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Met online date today and.....

226 replies

PawPaw333 · 18/04/2022 20:13

His teeth were so fucking awful.
He's lovely in every other respect, decent, good looking, respectful.. But once he opens his mouth I couldn't get past the teeth.
They are crooked, gappy and badly discoloured.
Am I being shallow here? I liked everything else about him.

OP posts:
Iflyaway · 18/04/2022 20:38

Tell him. As kindly as you can, but tell him. He may be really offended but it is in his interests to know

I agree with this.

I mean, he must be aware of it but may be jolted into action if he hears it from someone else.

sorrysaywhatnow · 18/04/2022 20:40

This may sound weird, but my first impression of my now DH was 'omg his teeth!' But pretty soon afterwards, I didn't even notice it, after I fell madly in love with him as a person, the teeth just faded into insignificance. I fully appreciate that might not be the case for you, but thought I'd share anyway!

Original poster
PawPaw333 · 18/04/2022 20:43

@sorrysaywhatnow

This may sound weird, but my first impression of my now DH was 'omg his teeth!' But pretty soon afterwards, I didn't even notice it, after I fell madly in love with him as a person, the teeth just faded into insignificance. I fully appreciate that might not be the case for you, but thought I'd share anyway!
This is what I mean. I know first impressions are important and the teeth didn't give me a good first impression, but I know there's so much more to someone than their teeth... He was honestly perfect in every other way. The minute I saw his teeth my heart just sank.
OP posts:
Chillyjam · 18/04/2022 20:43

I have bad teeth due to chemotherapy, I think that there could be lots of reasons, like mentioned above. I guess the reason doesn’t matter unless it may help you see past the teeth

mummy1428 · 18/04/2022 20:43

Could you fill out some Invisalign consultation requests online and put in his contact info. He will then start getting sales calls from dentists

PoshWatchShitShoes · 18/04/2022 20:45

Bad teeth are a massive turn off. But I agree that there's no point telling him why you don't want to meet again.

I once dated an absolutely gorgeous guy with lovely teeth...but he smoked and kissing him tasted revolting. So I went from being super keen to kiss him to actively avoiding it!! We only lasted a couple of weeks before I made other excuses.

In your shoes I'd be worried about his dental hygiene and that he wouldn't have fresh breath 😬

Onthelowdown · 18/04/2022 20:46

Same. Indicative of poor oral hygiene so not able to overlook. It happens.

Fwiw I won’t be telling him why. Blame a lack of chemistry

Snoopfroggyfrogg · 18/04/2022 20:50

Soz Pawpaw I cross posted and didn't see your message saying you wouldn't give him the reason. I don't think you're being shallow if you were strongly put off by anything, doesn't matter what. There's no point getting someones hopes up you feel turned off by him.

biggreenhouse · 18/04/2022 20:50

@Qwill yes seriously. I would hate to think I'd missed out on the love of my life just because of something I could easily change (if it was the other way round and was me with dodgy teeth or hairstyle they didn't like!)

HeDidWhattt · 18/04/2022 20:53

It’s fine, if you don’t like it you don’t like it, you don’t have to bend over backwards for a stranger you know, he wouldn’t do it for you.

Next!

Snoopfroggyfrogg · 18/04/2022 20:53

That said, seeing your last post... there's also no harm in giving it one more date to be certain Wink

Chocolatecomaday · 18/04/2022 20:55

My dh had and still has amazing breath!!

Herejustforthisone · 18/04/2022 20:59

God no, I wouldn’t tell him. But it would put me off hugely, too.

Fresh2022 · 18/04/2022 21:00

quit being shady and be honest

DrGoogleSaysSo · 18/04/2022 21:02

That would be a no for me too.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 18/04/2022 21:02

@Bjarnum

Tell him. As kindly as you can, but tell him. He may be really offended but it is in his interests to know
Just don’t - it’s not a staff member’s annual appraisal
IDontHaveAnOutingHobby · 18/04/2022 21:02

Is this a new fetish?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4531464-Would-you-date-someone-with-missing-teeth

SmallPrawnEnergy · 18/04/2022 21:03

Indicative of poor oral hygiene so not able to overlook.
There’s plenty of medical conditions that affect the teeth. Absolutely nothing to do with oral hygiene, pure ignorance.

Stravaig · 18/04/2022 21:04

There was another teeth/dating thread a couple of days ago, some of the comments might be of interest to you, OP.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4531464-Would-you-date-someone-with-missing-teeth

TheChurchOfEli · 18/04/2022 21:05

@mummy1428

Could you fill out some Invisalign consultation requests online and put in his contact info. He will then start getting sales calls from dentists
What the fuck?!
ronjobbins · 18/04/2022 21:05

@Qwill

We’ll just say you had a lovely time do, but didn’t feel an attraction. It doesn’t need to be made into a big deal.
This
Gwenhwyfar · 18/04/2022 21:07

It's just discolouration??? That's quite normal. I was talking to someone yesterday who can't get her teeth whitened because the discolouration is from a certain medication she took as a child and apparently bleaching doesn't get rid of it.
I have missing teeth so a bit of yellow is nothing compared to mine!

wheretonow123 · 18/04/2022 21:07

I think I would give it one more go with him. See whether the good vibes or the bad teeth are the ones to dominate your thoughts and feelings about him.

You could say something like you want to take it slowly so as not to get his expectations risen too high.

thepingaloos · 18/04/2022 21:09

Oh some of these messages are horrible. I am someone with bad teeth, believe me, if you have terrible teeth you know it and really don't need anyone to tell you. I honestly don't know how people think that we don't realise and need to be reminded. There are many many reasons for having bad teeth, from bad luck, to genetic causes and illnesses & associated treatment, and unfortunately there's often not much you can do about it (unless you have a huge amount of money and are prepared to undergo painful, sometimes fairly risky procedures). It's really akin to someone pointing out that they think that someone's breasts are too small / too large or that their nose is unattractive, it doesn't achieve much beyond making someone feel bad.

OP sorry for that rant, that was not aimed at you at all, you sound lovely. And of course you are perfectly within your rights to find someones teeth unattractive and off-putting!

For what it's worth, after falling head over heels with my now DH at first sight. Afterwards on our first date I had a panic and thought he wasn't for me at all and found him deeply unattractive. I decided to give it another go and we've been together for many many years. So one more date might be worth a try. But you wouldn't be a bad person at all for deciding he's not your cup of tea!

BodgertheJogger · 18/04/2022 21:09

[quote Qwill]@biggreenhouse

Seriously? If someone came in here and said that they had a great date but the man said they were put off my their weight and had they considered diets, gastric bands etc., do you think that would also be acceptable?! Some people have no idea of what’s socially acceptable/polite these days. You don’t need to tell others every single thought that comes into your head. I hate beards but wouldn’t go round telling people they’d be more attractive if they shaved!![/quote]
This is so true.