Partner degraded me after sex

[yogibear0]

We've been together a long time and have 2 small children. Dh is always complaining I never make time for him anymore sexually etc and to be honest it's because I'm drained and emotionally exhausted being a sahm with 2 young kids and feel like I've lost myself a bit. I always loved having sex but now a days once bed time comes round I just want to sleep and recharge for the next day.
But ive been trying very hard to give him more sex and spice things up... The thing is he keeps intiating anal and we tried it on a few occasions I found it both uncomfortable and painful and couldn't relax to enjoy it. He on the other hand wants to do it and is getting very angry with me about it.
For instance last night things were going great I was really enjoying what we were getting up to until he tried to put it in there. I tried to go along with it just for the fact that I knew he wanted to but it was so painful so I asked him if we could leave the anal side of things. He immediately got into a strop and said some pretty hurtful things to me. I felt a bit degraded tbh and really embarrassed. I do like to be touched there etc so the comment he said last night threw me a bit. He said "do you think I enjoy being round your asshole I'm only doing it cause I want anal. If I knew I wasn't getting anal do you think I'd bother touching you there. Even though he's told me on numerous times before he loves pleasuring me etc. He basically made some other comments that every woman does it and that there's something wrong that I don't like it. I feel so embarrassed and put down. Then after all he said to me I got up and put my clothes back on. I felt really disgusted. He decided to sleep on the sofa and is now giving me the silent treatment. He also had the cheek to ask me for a hand job after everything he said to me which I declined.
Hes complaining all the time about having to wear a condom as I don't want any more kids just yet. He complains telling me "as long as I'm happy" and that he's not getting any enjoyment wearing a condom. He puts it on me like it's my fault. A few times now he's tried to intitate going at it without a condom and as soon as I say I'm not ready for that yet he just goes off on one.
I feel like I'm a really shitty love maker now. I'm really not prepared for anymore kids yet and he doesn't want me on any contraceptive so I depend on the condoms.
I try my best to explain to him I'm uncomfortable with anal and I'm uncomfortable having unprotected sex and I'm just made to feel like I'm a absolute kill joy. Is this normal, does anyone else experience any of this with their partner?

"Women in porn films have local anaesthetic injections, so they don’t feel it." Omg really?

I'm really not prepared for anymore kids yet and he doesn't want me on any contraceptive so I depend on the condoms

Sorry ... what!!?? What has what he wants got to with anything? Your body, your choices. Get yourself on the pill if you don't want any more kids, and then consider dumping this abusive git!

His behaviour is disgusting and so wrong. You don’t deserve this and it’s not your fault. I agree with previous posters - this should be the end. He’s not a good man.

Yes when I was in an abusive relationship. Someone that actually loves and respects their partner wouldn't treat them like he's treating you.

Dear god. This man is an abusive asshole (pardon the pun). I wouldn’t be doing anything sexual with this creep, ever again.

I'd hit the fucking roof and tell him exactly how unattractive his behaviour makes him and that he is a pathetic excuse for a man. Ask him why raping his partner is acceptable to him? Because it is rape. You said no anal. He tried anyway and is now trying to coerce you into it.

He wouldn't be getting anything from me but his shit in a bin bag.

I never normally post on these kind of threads but I had to after reading your op. No this is definitely not normal he is abusing you. I can not emphasise enough please LTB he is absolutely disgusting, you deserve so much better. Please seek womens aid and get as much help in RL as you you can.
Again this is not normal please plan to leave he is vile.

@yogibear0

Let's start with the fact that there is nothing wrong with you, this is not about how good/crap you are 'in bed'. So stop thinking it is!!

Let's come back to this comment...

he doesn't want me on any contraceptive

Why does what HE wants you to do with your body, more important to YOU, than what YOU want to do with YOUR body?

YOU don't want more children (yet) YOU choose how YOU want to control YOUR body not getting pregnant!! Not him. YOU.

Get yourself in some reliable contraception immediately & if you don't want to tell him don't, keep up with condoms EVERY TIME.

Do not risk bringing another baby into this.

Mind you, if it was me, we wouldn't be needing contraception because he wouldn't be coming anywhere near me!!

My take is that - he doesn't want you on contraception, but doesn't want to use to use condoms either, he wants you to get pregnant & feel totally trapped.

He wants to use your body to fuck condom less & anally & whatever else he fancies.

This is purely about sex, his way, and not about having mutually enjoyable sex with you.

He's selfish and nasty. I'd highly recommend you give serious thought to leaving him because he doesn't care about YOU.

I'm sorry because that's hard to hear, much less believe I know x

No, it’s really not normal, OP. You need to get angry. No decent, caring man would treat you in this way.

I think that it’s time he became your ex.

Please get rid of this dreadful man

He sounds utterly hideous. You can do better than him and deserve to be treated with respect.

My stomach turned reading your first post.

He’s vile, and abusive.

That’s not normal.

This is abuse. You don't deserve this treatment.

Please contact Womens Aid asap.

Please get away before things get any worse.

You are worth more than 100 times this selfish person.

It sounds like your partner is abusing you. He controls your contraceptive choices and it’s like he wants to humiliate you and degrade you as you refuse sex without condoms, so he wants to fuck you anally.
Tell him to fcuk himself OP!

What a cunt he is.

Also he doesn’t want you on any contraception

What the fuck.

All of this is his fault. I'd never want sex again with a man like this. His treatment of you and his words are appalling. What a horrible nasty spiteful man.

And saying 'every other woman does anal' is a joke. Every other woman doesn't. Some do, some don't. He is saying that to make you feel like there is something wrong with you.

You are worthy and deserving of so much more than this OP.

You’re husband is an asshole. He’s also a pervert who has been influenced by porn.

Every woman does not like anal! Where do these men get thjs from? I have never tried anal and don’t plan on it and my husband accepts that it’s not on the table and he’s never once degraded me about it.

No one is owed sex. I hate that women feel like we owe certain acts to men just because we are married to them. We don’t!

Your husband is a childish pervert. I would be too disgusted to ever let him touch me after this.

Please leave this pornsick sex criminal. He is a disgusting, abusive pervert.

You need to get out of this relationship he does not care for you atall. It's abuse. He does not get to choose what contraception you take it's your body. I would not be letting him anywhere near me after that and I'd be telling him so too. Value yourself more and expect better. Good luck

So sad reading this OP, there is nothing wrong with you. Your husband is a disgusting, abusive pervert and you should leave him.

I can’t add anything else that’s not been said already. Your post made me feel sick. Please get out of this relationship OP. You’re being sexually abused and for your sake and your childrens please get out

He is abusing you, and why is he controlling your contraception and why are you letting him? Seriously, leave, it's going to get worse not better

@Aquamarine1029

I don't think you fully realise how disgusting and reprehensible your husband is. He is sexually assaulting and abusing you. You post is one of the most horrific I've read in a long time. You need to get away from this man.

This OP, I promise you, this is an abusive, toxic relationship. I wouldn't ever have sex with my DH if he treat me like this - sex isn't something you give to a partner, it's something you should both enjoy - coercing you into any kind of sex is rape, active consent is key, he knows you aren't actively consenting, he doesn't care. He's a rapey fucker.

I'm so sorry he has made you feel like this; honestly your post is disturbing, I'd be heartbroken if one of my DDs was in a relationship like this.